A Summer at Gentle Acres
by AmyMV
Summary: I plan to connect season one and season two together by creating a story of what happened to Joan at Gentle Acres. All main characters will be present in some capacity.
1. Chapter 1

_I have no business connection with JOAN OF ARCADI and own no rights what so ever to the show. So Please Don't Sue Me-Because Honestly, First Off I have no money or job at the moment. Secondly, I am doing this for fun and loved the Joan of Arcadia show very much, and want to have it stay alive even if it is only in a fan fiction website sort of way. This is also my first ever fan-fiction writing so I hope it goes over well. My Goal for this story is to make a full connection between the first and second season. I have read all the current fan fictions on crazy camp and although some are very good I want a more complete summer view. I realize ahead of time maybe the only person who will enjoy such a story could be myself-Yet, I decided to post it on this website incase anyone else is interested too. Mental Note, Amy and Christy are made Up Camp Counselors. Also, sorry if my grammar isn't perfect, but I did try my best.._

This story starts at the Arcadia Hospital and is meant to begin at the end of season 1.

Joan-"Mom, Dad are you seriously taking me to a crazy camp for the summer?"

Helen-"Joan we went over this yesterday. The Doctors feel it will be the easiest way to administer the medication you need to be on, and plus it will give you the opportunity to deal with your feelings about your hallucinations in a safe environment."

Joan-"Mom, I heard the same brain washed speech you did, except I didn't buy in to it one bit. I just want to go home. Why don't I get a say-This is so not fair."

Will-"Helen, I'll go get the car and meet you out front in 10 minutes."

Helen-"Thanks Will, I'll finish filling out the paperwork and then I'll wheel Joan out ."

Will-Will walks up and kisses Joan on the forehead as she sits in the hospital bed "Joan, Don't make your mother cry while I'm gone, we can discuss this more in the car" Will walks to the car.

Joan-"Mom!!!" "I'm not a baby, I can walk now remember." Joan jumps down on the floor from her hospital bed and stands on her own two feet-with her hands in the air like see.

Helen-crying now says "Joan, please get in the wheel chair it is hospital procedure to be wheeled out so we can't sue them if you fall." Pointing at the wheel chair next to the hospital bed.

Joan-"Finnnnneeeee, but now I see why Kevin complained so much about being pushed around." "It makes you feel soooo helpless" as she plops in the chair with a fake smile on her face "Ok all ready to go-Wheel me off to crazy camp now why don't you"

At the curb outside the hospital, Will pulls up the car to a bickering Helen and Joan. Will gets out of the drivers seat and opens the backseat door of the family car to let Joan get in, Joan hopes out of the chair and gets in the car with a whatever expression on her face, Helen says bye to a nurse that escorted them out and the nurse takes away Joan's wheel chair and goes back to the hospital.

Once inside the car, Joan scared but disgusted notices her duffle bag packed and sitting next to her in the backseat, along with a bag of bathroom supplies "Why is my duffel bag packed already?-I thought I was going home first?" Joan asks.

Will-"Joan, the doctors feel it is best to take you directly from the hospital to the camp we talked about yesterday."

Helen-"Sorry, Joan I hope I packed you everything you need." "Yet, surprisingly they didn't really provide a list of items to bring"

Joan-"Wait we are going strait there?" Joan crying now doesn't know what to say she feels her family tricked her into getting in the car. She thought she would at least have the opportunity to go home for a few days before being shipped to some crazy camp-yet this doesn't seem to be in her future.

Helen-"Joan-honey, I think this camp thing will help you, can't you at least give it a try,… be open to it?"

Will-"Your mother is right Joan. At least give it a chance-it is only for the summer"

Joan-sobbing "The summer…The Www-whole summer?"

Helen crying too looks her daughter in the eyes. "Joan, this was a very tough decision for me and your father to make, but yes, you will be spending the summer at Gentle Acres and we are going there right now"

Will-"I have heard a lot of good things about this program-It appears to have helped a lot of children I worked with in the past" "Also, it has a lot of fun activities-It is on a lake, in the woods and there will be sports, arts and crafts, music, and some therapy activities-How bad can it be?- it sounds like a summer camp-I almost wish I could spend all summer there instead of in Arcadia dealing with cleaning up this political mess the city is in currently."

Helen-"I know you and Adam like to go hiking-and you will be getting the opportunity to go hiking as well while being here" Helen seeing her daughters eyes open wide at the mention of Adams name didn't say anymore but turned around in the passenger seat. Helen thought maybe mentioning Adams name wasn't the best move at the moment while trying to convince her only daughter she is both loved and going to be missed this summer while gone.

Joan for the first time thought of Adam, realizing she won't be seeing him all summer. Worse then not seeing him- the last time she saw him she was pissed he wouldn't believe her about how she has been talking to God. She felt lost in the world knowing not even her boyfriend would believe her, she had not told her parents it was God she was seeing, but seeing now how her loving parents were sending her away for the summer based on just knowing she was seeing hallucinations at all- was enough for her be happy she didn't tell them it was God she was seeing.

Joan stared out the car window as she saw the city of Arcadia disappear from view. Lost in her mind she didn't know what to believe anymore, she wanted to pray to God-However thought God wasn't going to help her with this situation but she still deeply hoped he would.

After about ten minutes Joan asked, "Why didn't Luke and Kevin come? I would have loved to see them one last time before…" she didn't finish the sentence.

Will-"Joan, they both wanted to come, they love you a lot even if they don't say it out loud, and are very sad to know you are going away for the summer, however they didn't know what to think about the situation, and also the doctors felt it would be healthier to just have me and your mom drop you off at camp"

Helen-"Joan, both Kevin and Luke promised to write to you every week." "Last, night we had a family meeting and it was decided they would have to wait to see you till August" "They both were not completely for the decision but in the end agreed not to come with us today."

Joan- Confused "Wait…Write, …I won't see any of you till August?" thinking crap it is only June now-this camp is going to eat up my whole whole summer…

Will-"Both me and your Mom plan to write to you as well", "I promise", "and the therapists will be calling us to give us updates on your progress once a week"

Joan-"Will I be able to call you now and then?"

Helen-"We will have to see, I'm not really sure, but regardless writing is the preferred method according to the camp parent brochures I read"

Joan-"What about Adam, and..Grace" "Do they get to write to me? Do they know I'm going to be gone all summer" "I never got to say good bye…"

Helen dodging Joan's initial question says-"I saw Adam last night at the hospital, and I told him about the camp, he looked scared for you but said sadly he thought if it can help you see reality again it is worth a shot" "He also said he would let Grace know you would be gone for the summer"

Joan-"So he didn't fight with you at all, about me leaving for the summer"

Helen-"Adam although slightly skeptical or extremely sad seemed to think the camp was a good idea- I'm sorry Joan, but Adam wants to see you get the help you need just like the rest of us and was for this idea even though he won't get a chance to see you all summer"

Joan knowing her mom must have talked to Adam right after she told him about her talking to God, just conformed in her mind how much Adam didn't believe her.

Will-turning off the main road "Well we are almost there." "Just a few more miles down this dirt road" "This appears to be the private drive entrance"

Joan looking around sees trees all around the car, as the family car bumped up and down on the dirt road. Joan was thinking, wow, I am in the middle of no where. After a few miles she saw a few brown cabins in the distance, a huge open field that must be used for sports she thought, a large cabin next to a flag pole, and a lake in the distance down a large hill, and lastly the whole place was in the mountains. If she wasn't being sent her for having lymn disease and appearing crazy she would even say the place was very visually appealing to her eyes. Yet at the moment her feelings we all over the place and she didn't know what to think anymore.

Eventually, Will stops the car in front of the main office, and looks at Joan.

Will-"So we are here" "It doesn't look too bad so far does it?"

Joan- Sarcastically, "Yah, Dad it looks like a perfect place to spend my summer-I can't wait", and she gets out of the car and slams her door as hard as possible.

Will and Helen exit the car with a look of caution in their eyes towards each other as they see a counselor come out to meet them at the car.

Counselor-Walking up to Will, Helen, and Joan- holding a brown clip board full of paperwork "Hello, Welcome to Gentle Acres, My name is Amy, and I'm one of the counselors here, if you will all come with me I can answer any questions you have and I can help get-Joan settled in" "It is Joan, Right?"

Joan-"Yeap Joan, that's me the supposed crazy one- all ready to live in the woods this summer where another evil tick will probable bite me and finish me off."

Counselor Amy-"Well, Excellent it is an honor to meet you all and please if you have any questions ask away."

Helen, and Will upon seeing this extremely upbeat, counselor with long brown hair and caring eyes were at least relieved to see the place had a positive atmosphere so far.

Helen-curious asked"Are all the students arriving today?"

Amy-"Most of them are.. Yes, However some clients will arrive tomorrow too" "Regardless all clients spend the whole summer together, and many leave with a few new friends, a deeper understanding of themselves, and a more positive view on life."

Joan-"What makes you think I don't have a positive view in life" "I was pretty much completely happy before I found out I was crazy and needed to spend a summer at this crazy hell hole away from my friends and family"

Will-"Joan, Please! Give the place a chance"

Amy-"It's ok Mr. Girardii, -Joan like most clients are not very happy when they first arrive" "It's completely normal to be a little scared and frightened to be in a new place"

Helen-"So Amy, How many children come to the camp this summer?" "And what kind of issues does the camp deal with mainly"

Amy-"Well every client is here for different reasons and each have an individualized program to help their needs, however a lot of clients are her for poor life choices with drugs and alcohol addiction, some are here for low self-esteem, depression, suicidal thoughts or cutting, rebellious behavior, medical issues, or a combination of items." "Like I said each client has an individualized program designed by a professional therapist which is used to help meet the clients needs"

At this the group stops outside a main office and Amy says "Well Joan, now it is time to say bye to your parents" "And then you can come with me inside to start your experience at Gentle Acres" "Helen, and Will pleasure to meet you both, if you have more questions you can have them answered at one of the therapy offices over there, or by calling the number in the brochures you have" "Have an excellent drive home"

Amy is more than willing to give Helen and Will the time they need to say their good byes and steps to the side while thinking to her self how hard this most be for the parents to leave their daughter for the summer especially as she appears to not be as crazy as most clients. Thinking thank God there is at least one normal looking kid at this camp this summer.

Will "Joan I'm going to miss you this summer so much-I love you very much Joan" and gives her a huge hug.

Joan willing accepts the hug and doesn't want to let go ever. But eventually does knowing although this hug is amazing she knows it can't go on forever.

As Joan looks off in the distance across the field while hugging her dad she sees by the garbage cans a janitor dumping the trash but also smiling at Joan. Joan immediately grasps on to her dad harder as she is scared to think Oh My God is that Him again? Scared Joan tries to get a grip on her mind and what she is seeing as the janitor winks his eye at Joan and does a back handed wave and walks off.

Joan now very tense looking her dad in the eyes "Dad, I love you too! And and I'll try to give the place a chance maybe you are right maybe I do need some help" Will just nods his head and looks skeptically at his daughter.

Helen then steps forward to give her daughter a huge hug and sobbing looks Joan in the eyes and says "Joan, I'm sorry it has come to this, I love you, and please be good and have a great summer"

They too hug for a long time, sobbing in each others shoulders before Joan, pulls away and says "Mom I love you too" Looking at both her parents she says "I'm going to miss you both so much" and goes back to hug her mom and dad again together. After a few more minutes of hugging Joan eventually says "I'll try my best this summer to get better, and maybe even to have some fun-I love you both… bye."

Once Joan steps in the office with Amy it hits her for real this time, I'm defiantly in a therapy setting, and my parents really did just leave me her alone. Crap did my parents just trick me twice today, first at the hospital and then just now-not sure what to think about this she would just have to wait and see what the camp is like. At this time another counselor walks up and says "Hello Joan, my name is Christy I will be another one of your counselors while you are here"

Joan-Being polite looks at this short counselor who just appeared with a short stylish maroon highlighted hair do and thought what is with all these happy counselors can't they tell I'm pissed at the moment, Joan not really happy with her current state of life says "Hi, nice to meet you too Christy"

Amy-"Ok Joan, can I please see your stuff you brought with you."

Joan hands over her items thinking it is just to be checked for drugs or sharp items. However is shocked when Amy starts pulling out all the items and saying all the items out loud to Christy who is writing them all down quickly on a clip board and putting them back in the duffle bag.

Amy-"Joan, here at Gentle Acres the items you brought will be placed in a safe while you are here." "All clients are given all the items they are needed and are the same as ever other clients-here is are some new clothes, and bath supplies. I'm sorry to inform you that the stuff you brought will be no use to you while you are here"

Joan-"Wait! I have to wear this? And This Only?"

Christy-"Yeap, it's procedure; I'll step over her with Amy to give you a little privacy while you change into your new clothes"

Joan thinks wow this place is going to make me even crazier, I don't even get to wear my own clothes or use my favorite shampoo. Joan looks down on the red sweat pants and red long sleeved t-shirt she was given to wear. She was also given a red fleece hoodie that although looked extremely comfy and just like the other clothes had a huge patch saying Gentle Acres on it, she would defiantly prefer wearing her own clothes. Joan puts on the long sleeved t-shirt and sweat pants, and hands the last of her own clothes to Amy.

Amy-"Awesome, Thanks Joan, Now I just need you to sign this sheet indicating all the items you brought are listed correctly." Joan reads it over and signs the paper. Silently thinking bye bye stuff and welcome to my summer in hell.

Joan-"So, now what do I have to do?"

Amy-"Well me and Christy are going to take you inside for a quick tour, have you fill out some more paperwork about the rules and what not, and then I'm going to take you to your room and then dinner

Joan, Amy, and Christy then go on a tour of the camp, after placing Joan's items in a safe.

Christy- "So that is the shower house over there, the mess hall where you eat is next to it, every morning we will do flags before breakfast and lunch outside right there, oh and down there is my favorite place the lake, as you can see the big open field here is for games or other group activities"

Joan thinking the tour is pretty common sense just doesn't say anything, and looks around wondering if there is any way to get out of here sooner than August?

Amy-"Oh and Joan, when you meet with your therapist who is Dr. Dan I believe he will be in that building over there."

Christy-"Yeap, I believe you are right Amy, Joan will be having Dr. Dan as her therapist and Joan you will be happy to know he is very well qualified and an excellent therapist-You are lucky to have him Joan"

Joan-sarcastically "Oh Goodie, I can't wait" thinking yeapie more therapy for me like the last few times I went to therapy really helped out at all-Not..

Christy-"That building there is for Art's and Crafts, and over there is our challenge course and climbing wall which is used for team building activities. Most Clients love the challenge course as their favorite activity"

Joan thinking about having to climb that annoying rope in gym class thinks yah right-favorite activity… I doubt that will be true for me.

Amy-"Joan, there are canoes down by the lake, and often group therapy often called "Circles" will be down at various locations around camp you will just have to look at your daily schedule when I give it to you later."

At this Amy and Christy Stop at a picnic table and hand Joan a non-spiral note book, a work book, and thin book on Lyme disease, and a bunch of paper work.

Christy-"Ok Joan, this paper work needs to be completed before you meet any clients. This work book has many questions in it you will need to complete while here to help you learn about yourself, and this note book is your journal which your therapist-Dr. Dan will give you topics to write about or you can free write in it as well. Feel free to ask for another note book at anytime if you fill this one out completely. Lastly the Book on Lyme Disease I guess is to give you a general idea on your medical condition."

Amy-"So don't worry about the other stuff so much right now just work on this paper work" and Amy points at the paperwork.

Joan looks down at the first sheet…

Rules of Gentle Acres

You must be in sight of staff at all times. If you need to go to the bathroom or be out of sight at anytime you must first ask permission. During Hikes you will be required to count out loud in order to be heard by staff when you are out of sight for even a moment.

Daily required food and water intake amounts are required

No acts or threats of violence toward self or others.

……(and the rules kept going)

Joan skimmed over the rules quickly and signed the bottom thinking Shit- I have to count when going to the bathroom when out of sight-yeah mom this is totally like hiking with Adam by Arcadia- what is this place?

Joan goes to the Next paper…

Intake Survey….Joan thinks wow, Intake Survey with a million personal questions on it. This must be the kind of fun my Mom and Dad were talking about. What the heck were they thinking sending me to a place like this Joan wondered?

Amy-"Joan, that form should be filled out as accurate as possible, as it will be very helpful in your treatment"

Joan after about 15 minutes of writing looks down at her finished product of an intake Survey.

Name: Joan Girardi Age: 16 Gender: Female

Ethnicity: White/Italian Relationship Status: I have a Boyfriend

School Year: Just Completed Sophomore Year

Current GPA: 2.4-2.6ish (I didn't see my last report card yet)

Have you ever been suspended or expelled? Yes

If yes explain? I destroyed my current Boyfriends Art Sculpture

Have you ever skipped class? Yes

If yes how often? A lot in the past, but I was trying to go more often lately-My Hallucination of God often makes me feel guilty when I skip

Have you ever failed a class? No If yes what class? N/A

Do you have any Learning difficulties at school? No If yes explain? N/A

How many close friends do you have? 2

Names and Ages? Grace 16 Adam (Boyfriend) 16

Are/Were you in any extra curricular activities? Yes

If yes list below, and how long you have been involved? -For a few weeks I participated in last year; Chess, Boat Building, Cheer leading, Debate, Jump Roping, Yearbook, Drums-Band, Piano, Art kind of, Helping with an after school childcare's program

Do you or have you had a job? Yes-I work in a book store part time, and I babysat for a child-but sadly the child died of a chronic respiratory problem.

Why do you feel you have been sent to this program? I see Hallucinations from my Lymn Disease, and my family is worried about me because I have been acting weird lately, and a lot of things have happened lately in my family and my life.

Have you previously been involved in counseling? Yes, My family has been going to counseling after I destroyed my boyfriends art work but it was also because my family was having difficulty with my oldest brother Kevin accident.

Do you currently use alcohol or other non-prescription drugs? No

Is there a history of mental health problems in your family? My mother has an Aunt who talks to flowers.

Have you ever been physically abused? No

Have you ever been emotionally abused? Unsure what this means-Maybe???

Are your concerns interfering with your academic performance? Sometimes Yes, but other times I feel my Hallucinations are helping improve in school.

Have you ever attempted suicide? No

Have you ever been hospitalized for mental health reasons? Just Lymn Disease- So currently I guess YES

Have you ever been in legal trouble? I enrolled a friend in school illegally the one I liked to jump rope with, I could have been because of destroying an art sculpture but my boy friend thankfully didn't press charges-Actually No I don't think I have! My Dad is a Cop yet I don't think that would make a difference!

Is there a history of alcohol or drug problems in your family? My Brother Was in a drunk driving accidents which paralyzed him from waist down but he wasn't the one drinking. My family doesn't have problems with drinking or drugs personally.

Have you ever been sexually abused or assaulted? No, but I learned my mom was raped in college and I'm very thankful I haven't been hurt in this way.

Are your concerns interfering with your ability to stay in school? Maybe

Please Describe the concerns that you would like to discuss with a therapist? Hallucinations, What is real and what isn't, and knowing I'm not crazy because this survey is starting to make me wonder more and more.

Under what conditions do your problems get worse/better? When I see Hallucinations, or get told to perform a mission by said God Hallucinations…When I see the Ripples or effects of a mission

How long has this problems persisted? Most of last year. Since the tick bite me? Yet, maybe slightly before that-but that can't be possible-can it? I think I was bite while taking photos of horses for year book.

How serious do you consider your present concern (s)? pretty serious since I'm here now

How motivated are you to resolve your concern (s)? Not Sure-I sometimes like talking to God.

How optimistic are you that your concern(s) can be resolved? Not Sure

Mothers Name? Helen

Fathers Name? William

Siblings Name(s), and Age(s)? Kevin 18, Luke 15

Were you adopted? No If so when and any significant details around it? N/A

Have your parents ever been divorced? No

If so list names, ages of any step parents, or step children? N/A

Religious Affiliation? I Think I'm talking to God- Now I'm not sure if he even exists

Do you desire to have your religious values incorporated into the counseling process? I don't feel I have a choice in this one

List Medications

Type/ Dosage Lymn Diesese Meds Not Sure On Names or Dosage

Purpose-Make me normal again

Briefly Describe the Following:

Mothers Personality? Artist, Loving, Caring, Empathetic, Starting to Examine Religious Beliefs, she is scared/timid at times but other times really brave/and strong in beliefs

Fathers Personality? Cop, Good Knowledge of Right and Wrong, Excellent Leader, Strong, Brave, and Stubborn at times, Loves to Cook, My favorite person in the whole world

Siblings Personality? Luke-Science Geek, Caring, Shy, Great at Math, Will Listen to me

Kevin-was moody after accident but is getting back to his old self slowly, protective of me, listens to me, wants to help me when I have problems, Is a great older brother

Feelings

Helpless-Yes

Depressed-Kind of Right Now

Shameful-At Times when I do things that are wrong

Angry-I can be when life is not fair-like now

Guility-Same as Shameful…

Hopeless-Yes

Anxious-Slightly

Out of Control-Yes

Afraid-Yes

Numb-Slightly

Relaxed-Not right now, but was a few days ago

Happy-No I feel all my freedom has just been taken away for this summer

Sad-Yes-I already miss my family/Friends

Lonely-Yes

Excited-Not really

Hopeful-I hope to be

Stressed Mood Swings-Yes I guess

Thoughts

Confused-Yes

Racing-I would like to run away from here

Unintelligent-when I fail AP Chemistry tests yes, but not usually unless I'm around Luke

Obsessive-I can get into an activity for a few weeks and seem obsessive

Distracted-Yes

Worthless-No

Unmotivated-Not really

Unattractive-I took a make-up class last year-I'm totally ok with my appearance now

Unlovable-No-I feel Loved

Confident-At times, other times No

Worthwhile-Yes

Homicidal-No

Honest-Yes

Sensitive-Yes

Suicidal-No

Paranoid-Yes

Disorganized-If you look at my room/locker Yes

Symptoms/Behaviors

Eating Less-My mom would like me to eat breakfast more often

Procrastinating-Can I answer this later? Just Kidding-Yes

Attempting Suicide-No

Poor Concentration-At times

Crying-I tend to a lot-but it always seems appropriate at the time

Withdrawing Socially-No

Skipping Classes-Yes

Binge Drinking-No

Injuring Self-I hurt my leg while attempting to do laundry- it was not on purpose-I just don't understand how to use a laundry machine correctly

Overeating-I love ice cream when depressed, but don't really

Acting out Sexually-No

Acting out Aggressively-At times-Examples Sculpture, History Test Cheating/Protest

Impulsivity-I like to try new things

Recklessness-Not often

Irritability-I whine at times when life is unfair

Socializing-I tend to meet lots of new people all the time-in order to help them

Parent/ Child Confilcts-At times but we work through them

Lack of Ambition/ Goals-I start new things/projects/missions all the time

Nightmares-Yes-and they have been really bad lately

Passivity-Not really

Drug Use-None

Spiritual Problems-I see God Everywhere and Yes it seems to be a problem

Exercising Regularly-Off and On again

Compulsivity-Yes

Dating Concerns-Yes-I hope my Boyfriend don't dump me for spending the summer here

Physical Symptoms

Insomnia-At times

Tired-Yes

Weight Gain or Loss-No

Pain-My Leg Itches/Hurt still somewhat

Tightness in Chest-No

Dizziness/ Lightheadedness-Yes

Numbness/Tingling-Yes

Vomiting-I seem to have stopped this for now

Rapid Heart Beat-No

Dry Mouth-No

Excessive Sleep-At times

Loss of Memory-Yes-

Eating Problems-No

Other-I Hallucinate Seeing God

Christy-"Joan you all done with your intake form?"

Joan-"Yes, You did say only my therapist would read it-Right?"

Amy-"Yes, only your therapist is suppose to read the intake form-it is designed to help you get the best care possible while here"

Christy-"Well it is almost Dinner time so lets show you your new room and maybe you can meet your new room mates too-I believe Darlene, and Judith have checked in today as well."

Joan, Christy, and Amy walk to a brown cabin with 2 bunk beds inside, and a desk and chair.

Joan-"Wow, not a whole lot to the room is their?" Joan puts her work book and journal on the bedroom desk which she notes has rounded edges on all the corners –yet she thinks well at least the walls are not padded they have some faith in me here I guess-and follows Christy and Amy to the Mess Hall for dinner.

In the Mess Hall-Joan gets her first view of other clients at Camp. She sees a table of counselors in the middle looking off in all directions, and then views what appears to be a school lunch room stereotype division of crazy girls at the respected tables. All the tables appear to have a crazy person theme to them, Fat Girls, Skinny Girls, Emo/Depressed Girls, Drug or Alcohol Addicted Girls, Girls with little hair on their heads-as if they pulled out their own hair-gross Joan thinks. And a table with Girls who looked confident in life but rebels to authority Joan thought. Joan decided when given the option of where to sit she would choose the last option-as the girls reminded her of Grace slightly.

Christy-"Well Joan, you can get your food over there, and when done put your tray and trash over there" "It is basically a school cafeteria, you have a half hour to eat all meals, and after that you need to go to your next activity." "Here is you daily schedule for this week, and if you have any questions at all feel free to come to the counselor table, or ask your peers" "Well it was a pleasure meeting you and I will be seeing you around Joan-Bye for now"

Joan-"Yeah, bye Christy" Joan is unsure of her self just like the first moment she stepped into Arcadia High this year, but decides to get herself some dinner and go join the rebel table to eat before looking at her daily schedule she was just handed.

Joan-walks up to get some food as she is obviously late for dinner and everyone is already eating their food so she goes strait to the main counter, and hopes the lady serving her food isn't God in disguise, yet in a way she kind of would like to see a familiar face right now even if it was the almighty. Once taking some deformed looking meatloaf from the kitchen lady who wasn't God and a brownie she walks over to the rebel table to eat.


	2. Chapter 2

As Joan walks over to the table she notices a girl with shoulder length dark brown hair and blue eyes staring at her. She also, sees another girl with blue streaks in her hair and many holes in her face were tons of piercing most have been earlier today. Curiosity of Joan approaching made both girls become automatically hushed about their previous conversation and give Joan a glance up and down to make a quick assessment.

Joan-"Can I sit here?" pointing at an empty seat between the two girls.

The Girl with Blue streaks in her hair says- "And what if I say No?"

Joan-taken aback by the frankness of this girls answer says hesitantly "Well I guess I would sit here anyways, and hope you don't hurt me." "So I just arrived a few hours ago, my name is Joan, what are your names?"

The girl with shoulder length dark brown hair-"Joan, nice to a see an almost normal person the first day…My name is Judith and that is Virginia." "So what you in for Joan?"

Joan-"I have Lymn Disease and it was making me hallucinate, I'm here so my medications can be monitored correctly."

Judith-"That's a nice theory. However, no one is sent here for just a medical condition they have hospitals to treat such issues"

Joan-Taken aback by how upfront both these girls are just stared in shock.

Virginia-"Judith, leave the poor girl alone, I doubt she wants to share all the dirty details to her life right now. She doesn't even know us yet." "Yet….Hmmm interesting Lymn Disease what kind of stuff were you seeing? Was it like being high on Acid/LSD or Magic Mushrooms?"

Joan-not sure how to answer as she has never tried recreational drugs went with a quick example that could be interpreted as funny and scary all at the same time in hopes to get the girls to approve of her. "Well this one time… I was participating in an egg race about a week ago with my Vice Principle from High School, and all of a sudden he turned into the Devil while our legs were tied together. Immediately after the transformation of him into the Devil I fainted in front of the whole school."

Virginia-"HA HA, I like it-it reminds of this one time I was tripping on acid" "The Devil comes alive" as Virginia reaches her hand towards Joan's chest in a grabbing motion. Teasingly, she says, "The Devil will get your soul yet, Joan"

Judith- Laughing at Virginia's comment she says "I am sure Joan feels so much more comfortable with your more sinister approach to life-she is bound to want to be our friend now"

Virginia-"Yah you are right Judith, Joan seems as normal as we are going to get around here." "It's not like anyone else in this year's crowd seems as adequate for such a role."

At this comment the three of them look around the cafeteria, as though the reality of yah we are surrounded by crazy people hits them.

Judith-eyes the clock on the wall and turns to Joan and says, "Well you only have 5 minutes left to eat this disgusting dog shit of a meal…While you pretend to eat some of it-I'll point out some of the finer points of spending your summer here at mental acres." "If you ever can't stomach the food that table of obese fat asses will be happy to take it off your hands, as there meals are very closely monitored by the elite four counselors in the middle of this room, yet beware if you sit still to long in there presence they may attempt to eat you personally"

Virginia-Realizing it is time to make fun of others jumps in happily with "Oh my favorite girls are what I call the combo-cases…Sex Addicts, Druggies and maybe a hint of a juvenile background if they are truly hardcore. Those girls can teach you more about life than reality TV, and south park together."

Judith-"True that Virginia, remember when we were part of that crowd a few years ago."

Virginia-"HA HA oh yeah, the first summer we had together here, lets not get to sentimental and gushy yet I still think we belong in that crowd if you get my drift"

Judith-Pretending to clear her throat and says "Ok back to my stereotyping of the lunch room and those are the computer/ video game addicts." "Those almost normal but geeky looking girls in the corner can answer any video game question you may have at the moment -better I might add- than any store bought cheat guide." "Not that I care about video games but who knows maybe you do Joan."

Joan-after a chocking down a bit of her dinner says, "Wait, you girls have been here before?"

Judith-"My parents are psychologists, I feel I have been in therapy my whole fucken life, yet this particular camp me and Virginia are going on our third summer together." As Judith puts her hand over her heart.

Virginia-Joking and mocking says in a soap opera way, "Sad but true Judith, However I never get bored of your company, it is you and you alone that makes my summers complete."

Judith-"I know, it is because I'm Awesome like that."

Joan-"So does this mean I will have to come back next summer too?"

Judith-"Doubtful, unless you have a reckless rebellious side that normal psychology can't cure." "Joan, you are most likely on the one year plan like most clients."

Joan-Breathing a sigh of relief says "Well I'm happy to hear you are saying the same thing as my parents that I will get to go home in August."

Virginia-"Oh we all go home in August, but only your actions during the school year decide if you come back for another round." "It is all about life choices" "Man I hate getting that speech there is no way I'm going to repeat it now for you to hear Joan"

Judith-"True, but next year I vow not to come back." "Three strikes is all I'm giving then I'm out." "when it comes to attempts to change me at one stupid camp there is no way a fourth summer is going to help I doubt very much any good will even come from me going through this again this summer"

Virginia-"I feel I heard this speech last year?"

Judith-play hits Virginia and says "Shut Up"

Across the room a counselor says loudly- "JUDITH! You know the rules no physical contact what so ever leave Virginia Alone!"

Judith-meekly smiles and shrugs her shoulders as she looks at the accusing counselor across the room.

Virginia-"HA HA you got yelled at! I bet you want to hit me again now don't you?"

Judith-while rolling her eyes she says "Virginia you know I will get you back later."

Joan-"Wow, I'm impressed the counselors saw you hit Virginia"

Judith-"Yeap the counselors are like eagles-they watch for a moment of weakness and swoop in for a kill"

Virginia-"Yeah, Joan you may have worried about the Devil before coming out of people, However, just piss off the right counselor at the right time, and you will experience true hell"

Virginia -looking down by Joan's plate sees her daily schedule and asks, "May I look at your daily schedule?"

Joan-mimicking there first conversation says, "What if I say NO!"

Virginia-"Well then I would respectively violate your wishes and look anyone—honestly you don't mind do you?"

Joan-"well I haven't even looked at it yet, but sure go ahead, just tell me what I'm supposed to do after dinner.'

Judith-"Oh today's schedule isn't posted on there, it starts tomorrow, yet it will allow us to know if you are in either of our therapy groups." "I and Virginia got separated in an effort for us to both learn more about our poor life choices or some shit like that." "Whatever their reason for the separation it pisses me off completely, it will be the first time ever I will have to sit through one of this camps crappy circles without Virginia to keep me company."

Virginia-"Well Fuck, that is so not fair!" "You may be pissed Judith about not seeing me in circles but congratulations Judith you will be seeing Joan pretty much 24/7."

Joan-"What?"

Virginia-"Oh yah, Judith and Joan are both in the same therapy groups but to top it off you are also room mates" "It is like your parents have some secrete inside say in who you get as room mates, because honestly my room mates always suck, and yours well tend to be a little more on the normal side of crazy."

Judith-Looks Joan happily in the eyes and says, "Well Joan, nice to meet you room mate! I hope you don't mind if we don't share a bed though"

Joan-couldn't help but smile and feel relieved all at the same time at finding out Judith would be one of her new room mates, and says "Support!... This summer might not be nearly as bad as I first thought."

Joan picks up her schedule for the first time and looks at it to read.

Joan Girrardii Therapy Team Luna Bedroom B

Day 1

7:30 Morning Wake-Up

8:00 Flags

8:20 Breakfast

9:00 Sports-Kickball Game

10:30 Meet Therapist- Dr. Dan

12:00 Lunch

1:00 Arts and Crafts-Bring Journal for Drawing

2:00 Alone Time at Field bring Journal and Workbook to work on

4:00 Flags

4:30 Dinner

5:00 Showers

6:00 Night Group Circle

9:00 Lights Out Bed Time

Joan-just about to ask a million questions about her daily schedule to Judith and Virginia sees Camp Counselor Christy stand up and bring a mega-phone to her mouth.

Counselor Christy-"Alright Girls, time to clean up your dinner tray, and line up for showers in Alphabetical order by first name-A's in the front here by me" "Lets see if you girls can figure this out in under 5 minutes" "GO!"

Judith-Sarcastically says, "Oh Fun the Icebreakers and Team Initiatives already are into play."

Virginia-Laughingly she says "Totally, I just can't wait till they have us line up by number of guys we slept with-Virgins in the front by me, and Virginia in the back."

Joan-"You are joking Right?"

Virginia-Teasingly asks Joan "About what?" "Oh I guess you will have to wait and learn" "See you tomorrow at Breakfast Joan"

At which all the girls from the cafeteria put their food trays away and participate in the team initiative. At first some of the girls argue yet after a bit but soon figure out the task with relative ease. Once the group of about 20 girls was in line in Alphabetical order the group walked silently to a near by shower house.

Counselor Amy- "Alright Ladies as you are all new today and fairly clean, showers are optional" "However, starting tomorrow every night at this time all of you will be taking a shower. Clean clothes can be found here on this shelf organized to size and type. Whatever article you take clean most correlate to a dirty article of clothing being put in this bin." "Lastly, any girls not taking part in a shower need to go to their bedroom at this time, and may start their workbook or journal" "At 6:00pm please meet at your respected therapy group room for your very first Circle-that gives you little less than 1 hour"

Joan-Thought ah I think I will skip the shower tonight and goes off to her bedroom. Inside she first notices a rather cubby girl with bald spots in her blond long hair. When Joan looks down at the girl she realizes she has a chunk of her blond hair in the palm of her hand. Joan kind of grossed out at this girl doesn't know what to think but decides not to be rude, and says "Hi, I'm Joan! I believe I'm one of your new room mates. What is your name?"

Girl with Chunk of hair in her hand looks at Joan and says cautiously "I'm Darlene, and yeah this is my room, I took the bed closest to the window."

Joan-"Oh ok, Nice to meet you Darlene, by the way I meet our other room mate today her name is Judith, I could be wrong but I think me and her will share this bunk bed."

Darlene-"Ok, that is probable best; I have been known to snore pretty loudly." After that she leaves the room without another word or even glance at Joan.

Joan lays on the bottom bunk of her new bed and pulls out her workbook for the first time. Looking at it closely the front has her name written in black magic marker, and says Gentle Acres Workbook across the front. Joan opens the first page to realize it is a ton of personal questions with blanks next to each. As Joan flips to the last page she realizes the last question is labeled number 252 and says, List and Explain the Top 20 Things You Learned about Yourself This Summer. Joan flips back to the first page and the first question and thinks to her self oh goodie, I may not have God to give me a million questions with no real answers but this book seems just as annoying. Pulling out a Black Pen she was given with the note book she decides to get a head start on this workbook.

Assignment 1 Why Do You Feel You Were Sent To Gentle Acres?

Joan writes----I was bite by a tick, and the tick had Lyme disease, and now I have Lyme disease, and now I am here because my parents thought it would be wise.

Joan looks at her witty answer and thinks it is true, but I wonder if they expected a longer answer, as there are over 20 lines left for me to write more. Joan thinks well it is not like I'm as crazy as some people here, other people may need 20 lines to explain why they feel they were sent here but not me she thinks. Yet, Joan also remembers how Judith seemed skeptical about this simple answer and asked for further details. Judith even said other places could deal with Joan if the only thing wrong with her was she needed her medicine to be monitored. Joan now getting frustrated thinks ahh whatever I answered the question so ok I am moving on.

Assignment 2 What Do You Plan To Work On While Here?

Joan writes---Understanding what reality is in my life and what is a hallucination from the medicine I am on even a possible side effect from having Lyme disease.

Joan again looks at her answer and realizes there is another 20 lines left to write stuff in. As Joan was about to start Assignment 3 she sees Judith Walking into the bedroom.

Judith-freshly clean and hair still wet walks in and says, "It is true, Joan is my room mate, Virginia didn't lie."

Joan-"Yeah, and I meet our other room mate, Darlene, who has claimed the bed against the other wall." "I figured me and you could share this bed, what do you think?"

Judith-"I don't know, I might want to share with these Darlene Girl, I haven't met her yet"

Joan-Smiling and knowing Judith was joking about not wanting to share a bed with her says, "Well Judith I guess if you are not afraid of a loud snoring, chubby girl who pulls out her hair go for it, I'll keep this bed all to myself." As Joan pretends to cuddle with the bunk bed she is laying on looks Judith in the eyes.

Judith-Smiling Back at Joan looks Jokingly at the other bed like she is torn between what which bed to choose but simple says," Good Call on noticing the hair pulling" as Judith bends down to examine a few chunks both on the middle of their floor and on the covers of Darlene's Bed. "This girl sounds not only gross, but the typical crazy you find around here." "I think I will take you up on the offer of sharing this bed with you and as you already claimed the bottom-I'll take the top."

Judith then walks over to look to see what Joan is up to and notices the workbook on Joan's Pillow.

Judith-"Wow, trying to be an overachiever and working on the workbook already are you" "Just to let you know, that workbook is annoying as hell, and you will have so much time to work in it, the thing will drive you crazy."

Joan-"Really, I can believe that… the first 2 assignments already make me feel like I should have written more than what I did."

Joan-looks down on the next assignment and reads annoyingly out loud, "Assignment 3 List 20 things you are good at?" "Honestly, I can't think of one thing I'm really good at" "Now if the question was to say 20 things I tried but failed and embarrassed myself at while hallucinating I might have an appropriate answer to write down."

Judith-"HA HA, you are great at tons of things I'm sure. However to answer your other question if you look at Assignment number 20-I believe it is- you may be pleasantly surprised or really pissed off."

Joan-skeptically looked at Judith and then turned to assignment 20 and Read Out loud shocked "Assignment 20 List 20 things you regret, failed at, or would simply do different if you had the chance."

Judith-"Yeap, Same workbook as last year, to bad I burned my old one when I went home, could have saved me some carpel tunnel forming in my poor wrist."

Joan-"HA HA so do you have the same work book as me or do they have some other form of punishment for you."

Judith-"Oh this place has no new creativity. Of course I got the same book again." "However, if you want to make this summer more interesting for me we could fill out each others books" "You Game?"

Joan-"I'm not sure what is in the book, and you tend to have it memorized, kind of leads me to think you might have an advantage in learning something about me I don't care to share, However, give me a few days to decide"

Judith-"Whatever, I think the only reason they have those workbooks is to help people find out who they are, and to give the counselors some free time" "I bet you nobody even reads your answers fully, they just skim to see that you wrote something down in all the blanks and pick a few to question that relate to you and read those only."

Joan-"You probable are right about them not reading it. I remember in my high school writing class the teacher never read our writing journals." "My friend Grace proved it by writing the same rebellious statement on anarchy over and over again for a whole 5 page in the middle of her journal." Joan put the workbook under her pillow for now and turns to Judith and says, "Hey, Judith, so why are you here?"

Judith-Turning her head to the side and looking at Joan answers by saying "Well Joan, I don't always make the wisest of choices"

Joan-"Everyone makes bad choices now and then, what particularly have you done wrong?"

Judith-"Well Joan, it is only the first day, and we need to leave now to make it to our group therapy circle"

Joan-"Yeah you are right, but will you answer my question later?"

Judith-"Joan you are in my therapy circle you will know so many facts about me soon enough that filling out that workbook for me would be a joke, however right now I would rather not bring crap up from my past."

Joan-"Fair Enough"

Both Joan and Judith walk down the hall towards a room marked Luna Group Therapy Room. When walking in they see 7 chairs in a circle, and decide to take two next to each other facing the door, so they could watch other participants walk in and claim seats. As soon as they sit down in walks another depressed looking girl who walks in without making any eye contact and sits across from Joan. Next, walks a girl with short spiked hair, and a snug look or her face. Following the girl with short spiked hair is both the counselors who gave Joan the tour earlier today. Joan watches as Amy takes a seat directly next to her, and Christy, takes a sit directly opposite her between the spiked hair girl and the depressed looking girl. Last, a confident girl with beautiful blond hair walks in and claims the last seat besides Amy.

Christy-"Excellent, everyone is on time, and found the appropriate room."

Amy-"I think I have met each of you personally at one time during today but if you forgot my name it is Amy, and she is Christy." "We are in charge of your evening group therapy every night." "So lets start with a few simple rules." "First, only one person can speak at a time, if you would like to add something or speak next stick out one finger, if someone already has one finger out, then to symbolizes going after that you would stick out 2 fingers and so on this is the easiest way to maintain control of the circle and to show each other respect" "The next rule is, everything said in this circle is private, and should not be shared in letters home to parents, or shared with people when you leave this program." "Last, participation for all questions and discussions is volunteer, however your therapists will know from us if and how you participate in the circle"

Christy sticks out her index finger in the middle of the circle.

Amy-"Christy did I forget to say something or would you like to add something?"

Christy-"No you did a great job covering things Amy, However, I would like to add now, that circles can tend to get very deep at times. Sometimes people will share a lot of personal information about themselves, and by listening to each other, being respectful, and open, we can all get the most from this circle, and create a place where people are willing to share and work on their problems in life"

Christy-"With that said I think it would be appropriate to have our first circle be an introduction round, I would like to know your name, age, one thing you learned about yourself today, and if you could be any animal what would you be and why?

Christy-"I'll start…My name is Christy, I'm 26 years old, I learned today that I often Say Excellent when starting a sentence, if I am slightly nervous, and if I could be any animal I would be a Sea Turtle because I love to swim in the ocean, and I may move slow at times but I tend to finish Strong. I decide to pass the circle Left.

The Spiked Hair Girl says-"My name is Vickie, I'm 15 years old, I learned today that this place sucks and I'm stuck here all summer which sucks even more, and If I could be an animal I would be a Cockroach, so I could crawl out under the door and leave this place." "Oh Pass"

Judith-"My Name is Judith, I'm 16 years old, I learned today that although this place sucks big time-and hey Cockroach Vickie girl I would know better than you because this is my 3rd summer here. Yet, I learned today, that I have at least one cool room mate (giving Joan a smile and nod) and one psycho hair pulling room mate who I have yet to meet in person. Hmmm Animal oh I know (Sarcastically) I would be a Jumping Mouse willing to explore the world and to take the chances in life to better myself-just like the sappy story you plan to read to us later" "Ok Joan Your Turn"

Joan-"My name is Joan, I'm 16 years old, I learned today that my parents manipulated me from taking me directly from the hospital to this place without even a heads up-So Not Fair". "If I could be any animal I would be an Eagle it is my schools mascot, and I feel although I didn't make it as an Eaglette in cheerleading, I do like the idea of flying high above everyone else, and being an intelligent bird, and watch out Mouse Judith Cause I can totally spot when up in the sky and fly down and eat you up" (Ok Pass).

Amy-"My name is Amy, I'm 25 years old, I learned today just now that I have some girls in my group that are sarcastic, and like to kid around somewhat. Which is good at times but other times may bring disharmony to the circle. So ladies keep in mind what you say in circle is for more than just one person to hear but everyone to hear, oh and try to keep things positive." "Lastly, the animal I would choose to be is a Kangaroo, many people don't know that Kangaroos are physically unable to hop back wards and when they want to turn around in life they have to make a huge circle. I admire how this attribute keeps the Kangaroo hopping forward in life in a positive new direction at all times, Also they have a cool pouch." "Ok Pass"

The girl with beautiful Blond hair says, "Hi my name is Brie-Like the Cheese, I'm 15 years old, I learned today that the shampoo they give you here in the showers makes my hair smell bad, and this makes me sad and miss home more than anything. If I could be any animal I would be a Lion. Being a Lion or more appropriate a Lioness I would be the king of my kingdom, and exhibit a beautiful mane which wouldn't smell like this horrible shampoo." "Ok Pass"

The last girl with the depressed attitude looks at the ground and says, "Hmmm I'm Annette, ewhhhahhh oh I'm 16 years old. I learned today that if I try to kill myself while being here, the counselors won't leave my side and will stand within 5 feet of me all day long. Hmmmm yeah if I could be any animal I would be the Maggot, that way I could hang out on dead bodies all day long as a white colorless worm that feed off others decaying flesh for a living-what a perfect life." "Oh Pass"

Christy-"Well if you are the last person to speak instead of saying pass, you say Circle" "Sorry I forgot to cover that, but yes I agree with Amy we tend to have a little sarcasm floating in our group." "Yet, I'm happy to see everyone contribute some information and express their feelings of dislike." "There is nothing wrong with saying you dislike something as long as you are being honest, and I feel all of you were honest with your first round of circle and this honesty will help in other rounds." "Amy would like to lead the next round?"

Amy-"I would like to say I agree with Christy completely, but would also like to add I enjoyed the creativity you all shared with coming up with the animals you resemble" "For the next round though, I would like to ask you to share one positive attribute about yourself, and one thing you would like to improve in yourself." "I'll pass right to you Joan."

Joan-"Hmmm I can handle failure pretty well, and I'm willing to try hard at things in life, and take a stand for things when I disagree with them, and for the most part I like myself the way I am but I guess I could improve myself by finding something I enjoy and sticking with it longer than a few weeks. I would like to have something I'm good at and other people would look at me and be like…Joan is really good at Blank" "Oh pass"

Judith-"I can positively say I make my own decisions in life, and weather good or bad I learn better from those experiences than I ever do from therapy or counseling. One thing I need to work on better is listening to others and actually caring about what it is they are talking about I understand clearly that I have a problem with doing this and I should try to be more open to others." "Pass"

Vickie-"I'm pretty confident in life about most things, and tend to be very strong willed, and passionate about the things I believe in" "I need to work on not being so stubborn at times that could probable help me out from time to time." "Pass"

Christy-"Wow sounds like our group is pretty confident with themselves for the most part-which is really good." "I would just like to point out that over confidence is the other opposite of stubbornness so I can see why most of you pick corresponding strengths and weaknesses for yourself-Just something for you to consider" "Me personally, I have a strong passion for life, and I like to spread that to others." "One thing I need to work on is being more open to feedback from others in life." "Annette your turn"

Annette-"I am good at being depressed, and lonely, and hating life." "I want to work on pretending I was dead and my ability to sleep more" "Pass"

Brie-"I'm amazing at cheerleading, singing, dancing, and being up beat" "I should work on being less self involved and spend more time standing up for what I believe in as opposed to just doing what my friends think is cool." "Pass"

Amy-"I think I really like our group a lot" "I feel this will be a very fun summer together" "For myself I would like to say I'm good at maintaining a positive attitude, and often seek out appropriate challenges in life. "I do however need to work on being more focused at times and finishing all the projects I start before trying to start a new project." "Great… That is Circle" "I think we have time for one more round before bed, this round will be an open round and you can say whatever you want or nothing at all, just remember to be respectful to each other. I'll reverse it back to Brie to Start"

Brie-"I feel kind of awkward here at this camp, I'm not exactly sure what this place is all about my parents said this place would help me in life, but I am unsure what they meant by it. I kind of zoned out when they were talking to me about this camp maybe that was a bad idea. Oh well I just know most summers I have gone to specialty camps in like sports or theater this camp seems to focus on many subjects instead of just one. but I looked at my schedule today and think it is cool all the fun camp activities we will be participating in together." "I particularly think the climbing course, volleyball, Music, Dancing, and Pet Therapy will be a lot of fun, and help me when I go home and back to school this fall." "Yeah that's all for now Pass"

Annette-"You guys seem more real than my last therapy group, but if I was a maggot like I want to be I would still eat your flesh" "Pass"

Christy-"Pass"

Vickie-"I just want to go to bed" "Pass"

Judith-"Annette I think you would make an excellent Maggot, maybe if you get reincarnated you can make that a request to God" ----Annette for the first time looks up during the entire circle and gives Judith a glare of death and then puts her head back down.

Judith-"Yeah it has been an interesting day, If I had to vote I would say you are by far my favorite group I ever had here-so props to being number one in my book out of three summers" "Pass"

Joan-"I think everyone is unique and special here and I feel like we all have a lot of things in common" "It is kind of like that movie the Breakfast Club" "Yeah if you saw it I'm sure you could relate, if not, well when we finally leave in August you should go watch it cause it is a good movie." "Pass"

Amy-"Alright well that was an excellent first circle, and I look forward to more fun nights to come. However, now it is time for bed, and lights out will be in about 15 minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Joan and Judith walk to their bedroom in decently up beat spirits and hop into bed. **

**Amy- walks in and says "I need to give you both your night meds before you can go to sleep" "You have some water left in your water bottles I see so you can take your meds with that"**

**Joan-not a huge fan of medicine, and lacking the power to take big pills like the ones for her lyme diesese took a few tries to get the pill down, but after choking some she opens her mouth for Amy to prove it is down."**

**Judith-"I don't want any of my medicine tonight-I refuse"**

**Amy-"Well I have to ask you again, Judith I need you to take your medicine, Will you do this for me?"**

**Judith-"Nope, I refuse"**

**Amy-"Judith, one last time will you take the medicine your mother prescribed you and wants you to take"**

**Judith-"Same Answer as before Amy, I refuse, and I know you can't make me take the pills, but I will be happy to sign the refusal of medication sheet for you"**

**Amy-pulls out a sheet for meds and points to where Judith needs to sign, and watches in big sloppy writing as Judith signs her name in the blank." "Well, Judith it is noted you are refusing your medication, and as none of them are serious meds I'll let you talk about it tomorrow with your psychologist." "Joan, I need you to sign here indicating you did take your meds tonight." Joan signs the form like she is asked, and Amy leaves the room saying "Good Night" **

**Judith and Joan-laying in bed hears Amy cornering an approaching Darlene to take her meds in the hall way.**

**Darlene-soon after taking her med in the hallway walks in to see both her room mates lying in bed already. She tries to ignore them both and lay in bed her self.**

**Judith-Looks at Darlene and after 2 minutes of nothing from her, and Says, "Hi Darlene, My name is Judith, I'm your other room mate besides Joan here" "I hope I am not troubling you to much by saying Hi at the moment as that's what normal people do when they tend to walk in to a bedroom they plan to share for a whole summer with and see a new room mate."**

**Darlene-annoyed she answers, "Hi Judith, now that you are happy and know my name I'm planning to go to bed" **

**Judith-"Wow aren't you are a friendly one, almost like a crazy wild cat" "Oh and Darlene if you don't mind cleaning up your hair balls on the floor tomorrow, that would be awesome"**

**Joan-"Judith, we have to spend all summer with Darlene we should at least try to get along." "Hey, Darlene I hope you sleep well tonight."**

**Darlene didn't say anything to Joan or Judith the rest of the night. Joan and Judith both fell asleep pretty quickly too after the lights in the building were turned off by a counselor and asked to "Sleep Well"**

**Joan for the first night since before being in the hospital spent the whole night asleep without a single nightmare, and happily even woke up refreshed in the next morning. Joan full of energy when the counselors told everyone it is morning and time to get up, looked at her room mate Judith who was still fast asleep drooling on her pillow to form a giant poodle Joan laughed and went to say, "Hey Judith, it is time to wake up now!"**

**Judith-sleepily looked at Joan wondering who she even was said, "Fuck no it's not time to get up…." With that Judith rolled over and feel back to sleep.**

**Darlene-Laughing from across the bedroom Darlene says, "Looks like Judith doesn't really want to wake up yet, Joan" Darlene at this got up and grabbed her workbook, journal and pen and left the room.**

**Joan-"Hey, Judith, Get Up already!!!" and went to shake Judith to get up, thinking of how she often didn't like to wake up when her mom tried this at home she felt almost hypocritical for trying such a tactic on her new room mate, but did anyways.**

**Judith-sleepily remembering she is at Gentle Acres again moans, stretches and says, "Joan if this you being perky and waking me up in the morning is going to become a habit I think you may need to go sleep with Darlene on the other side of the room."**

**Joan-"Don't worry; I'm not always like this." "Yet, last night I slept amazingly well, maybe this medicine I'm on is finally helping me sleep better."**

**Judith-"Well that is nice" and jumps down from the top bunk, and says "Alright Joan lets go to flags then."**

**Joan thought-Wow Flags are really not that exciting to tell you the truth. The whole camp stood in a circle around the flag pole and everyone said the pledge of allegiance and the counselors raised the flag. It wasn't till the last second that a loud canyon went off and scared the crap of Joan and practically every other person nearby that Joan looked over at a fully awake looking Judith.**

**Judith-"God I hate that canyon."**

**Joan-Still slightly shaken up from surprise of the canyon says, "Yah, I totally didn't see that coming?" "If I wasn't awake before I sure am now."**

**Judith-"Oh don't worry maybe we will remember tomorrow, and if not better luck the following day." "Sadly, I'm sure we will remember some day to brace ourselves for the morning canyon"**

**Judith and Joan walk into cafeteria to get breakfast and meet up with Virginia in the cafeteria line.**

**Virginia-"Wow, Judith is alive and awake, and it isn't even 8:20 yet." "I feel Joan you must have dragged Judith down here by her toes for this miracle to occur."**

**Joan-laughs "Well it was actually more like pushing Judith off the top bunk of my bed, and watching her moan from the injuries and then drag her by her toes to tell you the truth."**

**Judith-"Yeap that sounds about right, owhhh I think my arm is broken from the fall maybe I can get out of her to go to the doctors..laughing now there is an idea I haven't used yet-breaking a bone or something…Hmmm and look at the wonderful breakfast options of boxed cereal or oatmeal" "I think my brain cells are going to explode with all my choices"**

**Joan-"What no pop tarts?" "I think I'm just going to skip breakfast today"**

**Virginia-"Oh funny Joan, and I'm the Easter Bunny." "The counselors will force you to eat twice as much if they see you not pick something up." "If you want to skip breakfast, you need to be sneaky about it and take a small amount of the oatmeal and just pretend to eat it, and then stick it to random parts of your bowl or throw it on the floor."**

**Judith-"Hmmm Coco Puffs those won't last long here, I guess I'll go with them today."**

**Once all three have some food, they go and sit down at their table from yesterday, and pretend to eat some breakfast.**

**Virginia-"So I meet your room mate Darlene last night, man she is a bitter hag"**

**Joan-"Yah you can say that again, but how and when did you meet her?"**

**Virginia-"Well Darlene is in the best ever group ever- You know Echo, with me." "Don't worry she told me all about how much she is dieing to get to know you two better."**

**Judith-"Glad to see you have some team spirit this year" "However, I still think you are going to go down after breakfast in Kickball"**

**Joan-"How do you know we are playing Echo? In Kickball"**

**Judith-"Being able to read the minds of the counselors for starters always helps, and well I guess it was on the schedule." "The other two therapy groups of clients we will never play games with us or even see except at meals."**

**Virginia-"True that Judith" **

**Joan-"Well I'm thinking our team might not be so bad at Kickball." "I mean I am uncoordinated and will suck, but I'll still try my hardest, and well we have this girl Vickie who seems to be a lesbian-lesbian girls are often great at sports, and this cheerleading volleyball ditz Brie, who should be decent."**

**Judith-"Oh Joan you forgot the people who will be the most help?"**

**Joan-"Really, I didn't picture you as one who would care to participate fully." "And well Annette would rather roll on the ground and pretend to be a maggot then play kickball I'm sure of it."**

**Judith-"Good one but you are totally wrong again Joan." "The Counselors Amy, and Christy will be playing with us, and well knowing who Echo has as Counselors this should be guaranteed win even if all I plan to do is talk to Joan the whole time in the outfield"**

**Virginia-"Hey, Don't knock my fat ass counselors Cat and Emily that is my job for the summer" "Besides my team has a few winners on it." **

**Judith-in disbelieve asks, "Yeah Like who?, and I want you to point them out in the lunch room right now"**

**Virginia-pointing "Well that girl with the red steak in her hair is Sarah" "Sarah, is a pushy aggressive activist type girl who although totally anorexic, loves to run marathons" and then pointing to another girl says, "And that girl with the large zit on her chin is Becky." "Well Becky honestly may suck, but I learned she has a 22 year old boy friend who smokes pot with her all the time, and is a big time manipulating liar, who plays video games all day-However she is at least skinny and that counts a lot on my team" "Because I also have Darlene and April"**

**Joan-curious to learn about other girls here asks "Can you point out April?"**

**Virginia-"Sure, that won't be hard at all, look over there and see the fat ass trying to hide corn pops in her hoody pocket right now with the fake smile on her face, that is April"**

**Judith-"Nice corn pops in the hoody pocket she looks like a real winner."**

**Virginia-"Yeah but corn pop girl is my winner thank you very much." "So I'm curious who is the maggot girl? can you point her out for me Joan?"**

**Joan-"Over in the corner with the other Emo chicks, the girls looking down at the ground, the one with a pale complexion to her face and arms."**

**Virginia-"HA HA that could be any of the three girls at that table." "You need to be more specific Joan."**

**Judith-leaning over to help Joan out says, "Virginia, Maggot girl is the one with no eyebrows and a fat nose with surprisingly no piercing holes in it"**

**Virginia-Smiles and says" "Now that is a description I can use" "So let me guess is Brie the girl standing by the counselors right now with her long sleeve t-shirt rolled up to so the whole place can see her belly button at the moment."**

**Judith-pretending to ring a fake bell then says "Ding Ding Ding, Good one" "You spotted one of our winners" However watching Christy stand up Judith says "And right on time too Virginia as that completes round one."**

**Christy-"Alright Ladies, put your trays away and I would like Team Echo and Luna to line up behind me now based on height."**

**Both the teams line up mixed together based on height and followed Christy out to the Kickball field.**

**Christy-"Hello my name is Christy, and this is Amy" she says to the Echo girls. "And Listen up Luna, I would like you to meet Cat and Emily the Echo Counselors" "Alright, I'm sure you all know because you read your schedules that today's first activity is Kickball." "Now we picked this sport because it is fairly easy to play and I hope everyone knows the rules already." "Does anyone not know the rules?" after seeing silence from all the girls said "Alright, good just to let everyone know this is just to have fun, and get some exercise we don't plan to keep score as we don't want any winners or losers" "With that said Luna take the field, we are going to let Echo start us off kicking" **

**Judith and Joan run to the outfield and immediately start talking. They leave their team mates to fill the other spots. Watching as Brie goes to 2****nd****, Vickie goes to 1****st****, Annette goes to 3****rd****, and last but not least Amy decides to be the pitcher, and Christy decides to join Joan and Judith in the outfield. **

**Christy-After watching Judith completely miss the first pop up kick near her because she was to busy talking to Joan to notice the easy catch slowly walks to go to get the ball and in the mean time Sarah on team Echo gets a home run.**

**Christy-looking over at Judith say, "So Judith, are you going to actually try at kickball or just talk to Joan for the next hour?"**

**Judith-"What makes you think I'm not trying?" while arguing with Christy April kicks another ball right to Judith. Judith misses the ball but goes to get it and throws it to Brie and almost gets April out at 2****nd**** Base and halfheartedly says. "See I'm trying"**

**Christy-"Ok whatever, but if you and Joan are talking and interfering with the game I will separate you two" **

**Christy-However, Christy after telling off Judith got to thinking ahh I have actually never seen Judith this happy in the over 2 years I worked with her, maybe this friendship with Joan is really good for her. Once looking over and seeing Judith smile as she slowly pretended to go for the ball and took a few steps backwards even slower just to be annoying was happy to hear Joan speak up so she wouldn't have to.**

**Joan-rolling her eyes while looking at Judith, says "Judith can't you go just a little faster already, I mean really I don't think you going in reverse is helping our team play any better, we are getting our asses kicked because of you." "Also I kind of want to not be put on 1****st**** base or something, because you are slacking off in outfield. So stop watching me and get the ball already." **

**Christy-After silently laughing at hearing Joan say that to Judith, decided to leave the two alone and let them talk all they wanted. After the game, which was surprisingly pretty well matched once both Judith and Joan were taking part somewhat instead of just talking turned out to be pretty fun. After the game Group Luna lined up to go back to their rooms for a little bit, however Joan realized she needed to go to meet this Dr. Dan therapist instead.**

**Joan-walked with the group but once close to Dr. Dan's office said "Amy, I'm going to therapy now, I guess I'll be gone till lunch"**

**Amy-"Yeah, Joan, I hope you like Dr. Dan he is a great therapist."**

**Joan-After leaving the group and seeing Judith shake her head and pretend to put her finger down her throat when Amy talked about Dr. Dan being great, she had to wonder who to believe more. Well for now Joan thought I guess I will just have to make my own decision, and ask Judith later why Dr. Dan isn't a good therapist. **

**Joan-slightly nervous knocks on the door, even though it is open and sees a man in his early 40's and has an almost bald head, and is watching Joan's every move as she enters.**

**Dr. Dan- politely says, "Come on in Joan, I have been looking forward to meeting you." "Please Joan, take a seat and make yourself comfortable." "So Joan tell me a little about you?"**

**Joan-Not used to being asked such an open ended question by a therapist before hesitantly says "What would you like to know?"**

**Dr. Dan-Shrugs and says, "Whatever you feel is important for me to know right now."**

**Joan-"Ok, I guess." "My name is Joan Girrardi, I'm 16 years old, just completed my sophomore year of high school at Arcadia High. I have an older brother Kevin who is in a wheel chair from a drunken driving incident, and Younger Brother Luke who is into Science, and I have a mom who is an artist and works at my school, and my dad is a great cop." "Wait… what is with the tape recorder?" "Are you going to be taping all my sessions?"**

**Dr. Dan-"Yes, Joan, I will be taping all your sessions, but I can promise you no one will ever listen to the tapes besides me" "Why does the fact I'm taping you make you nervous or something?"**

**Joan-"If I say yes would you stop taping me?"**

**Dr. Dan-"Actually no, but I would apologize for hearing it bothers you" "But Please Joan, I would like you to answer a little about why you are in my office right now?"**

**Joan-"Well it said on my schedule to come see you now." "I was sent to the camp for having lyme disease and am on medications for it which seem to be working at the moment."**

**Dr. Dan-"What makes you think the meds are working?"**

**Joan-"Well I haven't seen any hallucinations in a few days, and last night I had no nightmares and slept great."**

**Dr. Dan-"Well I'm glad to hear your nightmares have stopped and the same with your hallucinations." "However, I'm really curious to learn about your hallucinations, what can you tell me you thought you were seeing?"**

**Joan-Thought yeap, I knew this question would come up. Exhaling Joan decided to give Dr. Dan a few facts but defiantly not the whole story and says, "Well, I was seeing different people who would sometimes ask me to do things."**

**Dr Dan-"What did these people look like?" "And what kind of things were they asking you to do?"**

**Joan-"well the people varied a lot, and sometimes would change right in front of me to another form, or even disappear from sight after talking to me with a backwards wave"**

**Dr. Dan-"What varied looks did these people have again?" "I would like you to elaborate some on them for me?"**

**Joan-"Well they looked like normal people, a young girl in a dorkie misfit outfit with an antenna headband. Another looks like a teenager boy with a brown corduroy jacket and cute smile, and another has spiked black hair and a lot of piercings." "Honestly there are a few more looks but really I was serious when I said they varied a lot."**

**Dr. Dan-"So ok what did these people tell you to do exactly?"**

**Joan-"Usually good things like, try harder in school, get to know this person better, join this activity, help out here for a while." "And other stuff like that?"**

**Dr. Dan-Holds up Joan's intake survey and say "Joan do you remember filling this form out?"**

**Joan-Forgot about the form, and even worse didn't think about the impacts as much as she should have when writing things down yesterday and simple said "Yes, I filled that out upon coming here yesterday."**

**Dr. Dan-"Good I'm glad you remember filling it out" "So on this form you said you hallucinated seeing God." "So when you say you see people-this brown corduroy jacket teenager lets say, do you think he is a normal teenager? Or do you think he is God?"**

**Joan-"I thought he was both actually." "However now I think he is was a hallucination too."**

**Dr. Dan-"So how can something be both God and a normal teenager boy?" "Enlighten me because I'm am kind of confused at the moment."**

**Joan-"Well I have seen this boy in the form of God, but other times I see the same boy as a real boy who goes to my school-like in real life he is a wrestler and is pretty popular." "He never takes on both forms at the same time but he defiantly can be either form."**

**Dr. Dan-looking a little lost stares at Joan and asks, "Ok so if he is in the God form is this when he asks you to do missions, or tasks or whatever?"**

**Joan-"Hmmmmmm Yes I guess"**

**Dr. Dan-"You guess or you know?"**

**Joan-"Right now I'm not one hundred percent confident about anything" "How is that for being honest and not guessing?"**

**Dr. Dan-"Very good answer actually Joan, however in order for you to get better, you will need to stop seeing hallucination in any form" "I have never heard of a normal person talking and seeing God and I have complete faith you won't be my first." **

**Joan-"Well a lot of people pray to God all the time, maybe I'm praying, and he is responding to my prayers"**

**Dr. Dan-"Praying is one thing Joan, going on missions makes you sound like the next Joan of Arc" "And I don't know how well you know your history Joan but this Joan of Arc got burned at the stake for talking to God." "What do you think about that?"**

**Joan-"Well I know a lot about Joan of Arc. Probable more than you do actually. "Because first off Joan was burnt for wearing men's clothing, and it was almost entirely a political battle, and very little of her burning had to do with her talking to God. Joan of Arc was framed by the English because she was winning battles for France, and putting King Charles on the thrown didn't make her very popular in England either because well they wanted their person on the thrown instead."**

**Dr. Dan-"Ok maybe not the best example in its entirety however, do you feel you and Joan of Arc have many things in common?" "I mean you seem to know a lot about her."**

**Joan-"Well we have a few things in common I guess; we both were wrongly accused and often have to do things the hard way" "We both claim to be on missions from God" "Oh and we both are willing to stand up for what we want"**

**Dr. Dan-"So is it fair to say you may view Joan of Arc as someone you would look up to, or a role model of some sort?"**

**Joan-"Well she is a Saint; many people look up to Joan of Arc. So sure I would say yes I am one of the people who admire some of her qualities" **

**Dr. Dan-"Ok well what do you say if I say maybe you think you are talking to God because you admire Joan of Arc. And feel by also talking to God you are more special than other people in the world or on the same level as someone like Joan of Arc?"**

**Joan-"I wouldn't say the same level; I don't think levels is the correct way to explain our talking to God Similarities."**

**Dr. Dan-"Go on Joan"**

**Joan-"I feel neither me or Joan of Arc had a choice in being originally chosen to help God on missions, we were just in the right place at the right time and open to the idea, and I guess that is why God decided to use us."**

**Dr. Dan-"So why would God choose you Joan and then why would God give you lyme disease if you are his chosen one?"**

**Joan-"Why did Joan of Arc have to burn on the stake?" "Maybe this is just a way to test my faith or something?" "Or maybe God has a bigger idea in mind?" "Maybe I am supposed to help someone at this camp?" "I really don't know as God hasn't spoken to me since I collapsed on the ground in front of my high school."**

**Dr. Dan-"Ok so why do you think God stopped talking to you?"**

**Joan-"I don't know, probable because I was just hallucinating him in the first place."**

**Dr. Dan-"Well I think here is a good place to stop for today as your time is almost up"**

"**Joan, I would really like you to journal on your views of your hallucinations while you are here, also if you ever see a God, or other hallucinations I need to know-Ok?" "As we very well may have to adjust your meds if you start seeing things again."**

**Joan-"Yeah Ok" **

**Dr. Dan-"Good well it was a pleasure meeting you; I look forward to seeing you again in a few days, take care"**

**Joan-says "ok" and walks toward the door still not sure what she thinks of Dr. Dan as he seems to be very anti-God or else he is very Anti-me seeing God. However Joan thinks well I guess if he is the Doctor I should consider what he has to say. Joans mind drifts as she walks toward the cafeteria and sees both Judith and Virginia already sitting down eating some chicken rings and fries, and goes to get her own chicken rings and fries then goes to sit down at her typical table.**

**Judith-"Sometimes I think, cafeterias have only one form of chicken." "That is why we always seem to have Chicken Breasts the first time they serve chicken" Then the Next time it is Chicken Rings like we see here" Yet lastly not knowing what to do with the inside of the Chicken Ring they make the Chicken Nugget"**

**Virginia-"HA HA, Ok then what about chicken fingers?"**

**Judith-"Well those are hand battered meaning literally human fingers covered in batter." "No chicken is in them at all"**

**Joan-"That is just gross" **

**Judith-"Ah don't worry they don't serve chicken fingers here so you are safe for now Joan" "So Joan, I'm curious how is Dr. Dan doing these days?" "What do you think of him?" "That balding head and beer belly make you like the guy, or is it his loving and caring personality?"**

**Joan-"I don't really know what to think of Dr. Dan yet?" "He seems very Anti-God, I gathered that much" "Also, he likes to try to twist my words around, and ask me the same questions a million different ways"**

**Virginia-"Well Joan, some people say all learning is-is learning something you already know in a new way" "Basically if you think about something you think you know and someone questions you long enough either you will go more crazy or less crazy." "That's how I view the whole therapy concept anyways."**

**Joan-"I have no desire to go crazier, so whatever path leads to sanity is the path I want to be on."**

**Judith-"Oh come on Joan normal people are boring." "I think a little chaos, and crazy attributes in people makes them better people, not worse."**

**Joan-getting of sick of debating, and hearing the word crazy all the time says, "Can we please just talk about something real for once"**

**Judith-"Everything is Real Here Joan" hitting her hand on the table says, "Real table, Real food, Real people" "Are you saying you are seeing something I'm not Joan?"**

**Joan-"No, I'm not hallucinating at the moment if that is what you are asking me!" realizing Joan was starting to sound crazy says, "Ok lets talk about something that can actually be answered, and not just debated till the end of time."**

**Virginia-"Alright then so how did it feel today to be kicked by team Echo today in Kickball?"**

**Joan-"You totally didn't win, nobody won, it was a game, it was fun"**

**Virginia-"That's just bull crap thinking, I kept score, and my team won by one run."**

**Judith-"You know Virginia I don't care if your team won by a million runs, because well I had more fun then you while playing, so in my beliefs my team and I are the real winners."**

**Virginia-"Alright and the attempt at a real conversation with a definite real answer has turned into another debate." "I guess it don't matter anyways because well Lunch is over" "See you guys later."**

**Amy-"Group Luna will you please join me over here for art and crafts, thank you"**

**Judith-Sarcastically while getting up says, "What no stupid ice breaker this time, I don't know where I will ever stand in the line now?"**

**Joan-"Duh you will just have to stand next to me then."**

**Once Group Luna is lined up ready to go they all march to Arts and Crafts.**

**Joan-Once inside the building Joan was shocked to see so many different art forms around the room. Joan noticed drawings, paintings, sculptures, dream catchers, pottery, jewelry, leather work items on display, and then something really caught her eye. At first the last item she couldn't tell what it was but when she turned her head to side said shocked "Wow that is a lamp"**

**Judith-laughing "Very good it is a Lamp" "Now that you have shed some light on that mystery maybe you can pass Arts and Crafts with a smiley face sticker on your journal"**

**Amy- "Alright here in Art's and Crafts the first week or so me and Christy are going to help you try out all the different forms of art's and crafts we allow you to make here" "After you have made all the required various topics and items you can make whatever you want."**

**Christy-"Yes and today I had you all bring your journals because we are just going to work on drawing" "So I would like you all to draw me 3 pictures." "First I want you to draw a picture of your family, and label everyone you put in it." "Second, I want you to draw one of your happiest memories you have ever had and put a caption on it to describe the memory." "Last, I want you to draw one of your saddest moments in life and also write a caption." "Ok colored pencils, crayons, and markers can be found here, please return what ever you use at the end of the session"**

**Joan goes and grabs a hand full of colored pencils from the front of the room and sits down besides Judith, and takes out her blank journal notebook.**

**Judith- quickly draws a stick figure of herself, mom, and dad in the middle of her first sheet of paper, and is about to start the happy and sad drawings when she looks over to see Joan actually trying to draw something decent. Judith said "Wow, Joan you seem to be trying really hard at this, I didn't picture as the artsy type."**

**Joan-Shrugged off Judith's statement and said, "Well why not try?" "It isn't like we don't have plenty of time to draw something good we are here for an hour" "Also, I have never been really good at Art, but both my Boyfriend Adam, and Mom are excellent at it" "If I could learn to be good or at least better at Art this summer, who knows maybe it could bring me closer to my boyfriend and mom and let me see their work with more meaning when I go home." **

**Judith-After tearing out her first drawing she did of the stick figures and throwing it on the floor, Judith decides ahh why not I can draw something better, I am actually really good at art when I try. After about 40 minutes of intense drawing on Judith part she looks over at Joan's work to see a picture of her family with 2 brothers and a mom and dad. Judith laughed and had to ask, "Why is one of your brothers in a science lab coat? And really what is with the other one being in that funky chair?"**

**Joan- "Wow, I am happy you could figure it out, I was unsure about the lab coat being obvious enough." Pointing at her drawing she tells Judith, "This is my dorkie brother Luke he is only a year younger than me and he is wearing a lab coat because he is totally into science and dreams of going to M.I.T. for college" "and well my other brother is a few years older than me and named Kevin."**

**Judith-"And you drew him in a lounge chair reading the newspaper because?"**

**Joan-"Well the newspaper is because he works and writes for the one back home" Joan then wonders how much she cares to cover about the chair aspect says, "And well actually it isn't a funky lounge chair Kevin is sitting in, my brother was in a drunk driving accident a few years ago and is now has no feeling from the waist down he is in a wheel chair now for life."**

**Judith-now totally taken aback by learning Joan's brother being in a drunk driving accident and paralyzed from the waist down tries to quickly change the subject as it makes her uncomfortable to hear of such things at the moment. "Well good drawing, I like it; here you want to see mine?"**

**Judith-"I am not a huge fan of my parents so I didn't take much time to draw them with their hobbies and what not" "Yet, I think I told you they are both psychologists right?"**

**Joan-"Yeah" "So what else did you draw?"**

**Judith-"Well this one I think is my favorite and is in the happy moment category." " I couldn't really think what was the happiest moment of my life so I drew me running really slow to get the ball today while playing Kickball" "See, and there is you Joan in the back ground yelling at me to move faster." **

**Joan-"HA HA I like it, and is that Virginia running the bases getting the winning home run?"**

**Judith-"Well with a little more detail of a blue line in her hair it could be" and Judith added some details to make the picture even better.**

**Joan-"For my happy drawing I drew a four things because I couldn't pick just one" "So in the top corner I drew me and my boyfriend sitting on top of the roof of the school while skipping lunch to look at this picture I made of the 2 of us" "Then the next one I drew a picture of me and my brother Kevin going to the drive through to get milk shakes." "Oh and this one here is me and my friend Grace sharing our first sandwich at lunch." "And the last one is just me and my whole family sitting down to eat homemade lasagna for a family dinner."**

**Judith-thought wow Joan is really close to her family and friends at home, I wonder what my life would have been like if I was close to people at home? **

**Joan-"Hey, Earth to Judith what do you think?"**

**Judith-"I think you are hungry, all your pictures revolve around food in some aspect."**

"**See first you are skipping lunch, then drinking milk shakes, or sharing a sandwich, and last a family lasagna night." "If I was your psychologist right now I would stick you in the food obsessed obese girls category for that picture"**

**Joan-"Funny, however, you are right I am eating in all of them, I didn't even think of that."**

**Joan-"Says oh and here is the sad one" "It is me in the hospital bed a few days ago, right after learning I hallucinate things because of lyme diesese." "This sad boy is my Boyfriend Adam, after I tried to tell him I see things, and he didn't believe me."**

**Judith-"Wow, Adam boy didn't believe you?" "That seems weird, how could he not believe you were hallucinating because you have lyme diesese?" "It is like a common side effect to lyme disease and all."**

**Joan-Scared she might have given away too much at the time says, "Well I guess I was still out of it, and I said it kind of fishy or weird or something?" "Either way it was really sad for me to think my boyfriend wouldn't believe me, as we have a pretty trusting relationship."….. "So what is your Sad Photo?"**

**Judith-"Oh I drew, well maybe I will show you later." "It is kind of something I don't feel like sharing yet-no offense."**

**However Joan, being pretty quick grabs the picture out of Judith's hands to get a peak thinking she was just joking with her about not letting her see it now.**

**Joan- Looks and sees a picture of a flipped over SUV and a few other symbols she didn't get a chance to look at very closely to decipher a meaning too….But as soon as she was looking at the drawing Judith whipped it right back out of Joan's hands.**

**Judith-"Hey I was serious when I said I didn't want you to see that yet?"**

**Joan-"Ah Ok, However promise me you will explain it later"**

**Judith-realizing she wouldn't have a choice in the matter says "Sure" but really thought if I didn't have to in circle there is no way I would share this story with Joan. However, I also thought Crap my mom's impact letter would have to be read out loud in a few days.**

**Amy-"Alright, I know some of you still have to go to therapy sessions now, so will everyone line up so we can go out the field for alone time, and if you if you didn't go to therapy this morning you will be going now."**

**Everyone lined up, and walked outside to fairly open field with a few big shady trees. There was a beautiful view of the lake down the hill, and you could see some mountains in the distance. Joan realized Judith must have gone to therapy along with Vickie as they were no longer with the group.**

**Amy-"Alright everyone, you can grab a butt pad here, and then I want you all to spread out and find a place of your own." "I don't want to see anyone any closer than 30 feet away from each other." "While you sit in alone time there is no talking what so ever." "This time is used for you to explore who you are, you can work on your workbook questions, sit and think quietly, journal freely about what your psychologist wants to see, or draw." "I don't have any letter paper yet, but in a few day's that will be an available option as well." "Great everyone now spread out and find a comfy place all to yourself."**

**Joan-goes to lean against a tree, and while sitting on the roots, pulls out her workbook to work on it for a while. Looking at question 3 again she thinks man 20 things I'm good at, I have to be good at something.**

**Joan's Workbook Question number 3 list**

**1. Helping People**

**2. Encouraging Others**

**3. Baby sitting/ Working with Children**

**4. Double Dutch Jump roping**

**5. Starting New Projects**

**6. Organizing a Book Store**

**7. Playing itsy bitsy spider on the Piano **

**8. Planning Movie Nights to hang out with friends**

**9. Supposedly Chess**

**10. Finding good Poetry in Dumpsters**

**11. Crying**

**Joan-thinking, I still need to come up with another 9 items; all I really want to do is work on my number 11 category at the moment. Joan then realizes wow I don't think I have ever sat so long in one place before; I can't believe I have to just sit her all afternoon. Joan starts to day dream and then doodle in her notebook, however suddenly stops dead on everything as she looks up to see an old lady who looks familiar by the office door in distance.**

**Joan-"O.M.G I'm seeing God again, this isn't good at all" "Crap" Joan then decides to take Dr. Dan's advice and write the in her journal about her hallucinations. **

**Joan's Journal-**

**June 18****th**

**I just saw an old lady that I have often associated with being God before in one of the her/him looks. I feel scared, and confused. However, as I looked up and she caught my eyes she just smiled and waved and walked away. I wanted to follower soooo bad, I wanted to know if I could still talk to her. I haven't talked to her in so long I realized I missed the relationship we used to have. Yet I stayed put like I was supposed to in the field during alone time instead of rushing over. I knew she was gone, for now. Yet, although it scares me to see God knowing it is a hallucination, I often feel comfortable at the same time seeing her again. She has such a warm happy look to her, and yet snippy too. Wait I take that back God is not snippy. God actually told me that one time in the book store where I work she was not snippy. Yeah, I'm just really confused right now, I can't write anymore at the moment.**

**Joan-closed her notebook, and thought maybe I should tell someone I just saw God? Then she thought better of the idea and decided against it. Sighing, Joan then lend against the tree again lost in her thoughts…**

**Amy-"Alright, Everyone it is time to line up for flags, and then dinner."**

**Joan-still didn't see Judith, but realized Vickie was back, and well everyone else was present in the line to go to flags.**

**Amy-"Has anyone seen Judith?"**


	4. Chapter 4

**JUDITH IS MISSING-**

**Joan-"I thought she was in therapy." **

**Vickie-"Well I came back about a half hour ago; however we do have different therapists"**

**Amy-nervously walks away and pulls out a radio and hushly says "Anyone know where Judith is?" "She appears to not be back from therapy yet?"**

**Therapist-"Well I let her out about half hour ago like I was suppose too, Judith said she had to go to the bathroom and then would go join her group."**

**Another counselor over the radio-"I was just in the bathroom, Judith was not in there" "I'll go check her bedroom"**

**Joan-Wonderingly were her room mate went to said, "Maybe she got lost coming back from the bathroom" "Then thought, ah that's impossible Judith has been coming here for years, why is she not back yet?"**

**Counselor-Over the radio-"I found Judith she is safe, we also found Virginia as well, they were together by the edge of the woods."**

**Emily the Echo counselor-"Crap, I didn't even notice Virginia was missing, she must have snuck out during arts and crafts without us seeing"**

**Amy-"Alright group, we are going to flags now." "Lets Go!"**

**Joan-"Wait so where is Judith?" "Has she been found?"**

**Amy-trying to be honest but unsure how to respond as she didn't know all the details said, "Yes, Judith is Safe, you will see her again later."**

**At flags she realized both Judith and Virginia were both still absent. Joan was wondering why they were still gone, but soon the flags were lowered, and she was being escorted by the flow of girls into the cafeteria. Joan went and got some beef stew in a bread bowl, and went to sit down at the typical table, yet it felt awkward without either Judith or Virginia sitting there too. Joan thinking it was only a matter of time before her friends would join decided to sit and wait for them alone. However, minutes passed, and passed, and Joan was becoming anxious wondering where they were at. Eventually the whole dinner rounded up, and Joan went to take her first shower at camp. Joan was happy to know there were individual stales with curtains over them for privacy but was too lost in thought about where Judith was now that she barely even enjoyed her shower. Once out she went to the Luna room for therapy and was relieved to see Judith sitting in her chair, all smiling and happy as the only occupant in the room.**

**Joan-takes a seat next to Judith and says, "Judith I was worried about you, were where you at?" "Why didn't you come back after therapy?"**

**Judith- "Oh me and Virginia decided to go for a cigarette break and bitch about our new therapists by the woods instead of sitting alone in some lame field."**

**Joan-"Wait, you were smoking stuff by the woods" "First off, How?" "Second off, Why?"**

**Judith-"Come on Joan no harm was done" "I got in some trouble, no biggie really." "Oh Virginia snuck some in and hid it before being searched-It's a genius move it now has worked 2 years in a row"**

**Joan-speechless at the moment just stares at Judith like what the hell is wrong with you.**

**Judith-"Come on Joan, do you even care? or are you just jealous we didn't invite you to join?" "If you are jealous and interested maybe you can take part next time?" "This time would have been too hard to sneak you away from alone time." "You would have been spotted quickly." **

**Joan-Completely flabbergasted about what her friend was telling her said, "Judith you are in therapy at the moment-Don't you think sneaking off for a smoke break at therapy is well kind of wrong on multiple levels?"**

**At this moment group members started walking and soon filled up the whole circle like usual. Both Amy and Christy looked at Judith pissed as they sat down but didn't say anything about the ordeal from earlier.**

**Joan-"I want to talk to you later about this"**

**Judith-"Sure Joan whatever."**

**Christy-Breathing a sigh of relief then starts circle with saying, "Well now that everyone is back together ate and showered lets start some rounds shall we." "First round will be what I call Rose, Bud, and Thorn." "You will say your highlight of the day-Rose, The part of your day you had difficulty with-Thorn, and something positive you would like to try or do tomorrow-Bud" "Also, Judith remember what we talked about when you got out of the shower alright."**

**Judith-rolls her eyes and says "OK"**

**Amy-"I would be happy to start." And starts the round off with "My Rose was playing kickball today with all you nice ladies" "My Thorn-well I had a few today actually but one of them was the fact we had Stew today for dinner." "I feel Stew day always falls on really warm days, and makes me hot." "Last my Bud, is seeing how well today went for most of you, and the fact that tomorrow is another day and I'm am looking forward to getting to know all of you better." "I will pass to Brie.**

**Brie-"My Rose was meeting the Echo girls today, I particularly liked meeting Sarah as she is very out spoken and I even sat by her today at lunch and dinner which was really fun." "My Thorn was the canyon at flags today, because well it kind of scared me a lot." "oh and what was the last thing?"**

**Amy-"Bud, something to look forward too."**

**Brie-"Oh I know I meet my therapist today and we had a good chat, she had some good insight and was funny, I am looking forward to working with Dr. Sally again." "Pass"**

**Annette-"Well my rose today was, taking a nap under the tree during alone time, well until I was woken up and told not sleep during alone time." "My Thorn was probable the second half of my first Rose statement." "Last my bud is I get to sleep tonight after this circle is over, I'm really looking forward to that." "Pass"**

**Christy-Thinks of the best way to word an answer and says, "My Rose was watching everyone enjoy kickball and arts and crafts." "My thorn was learning Judith was missing for a little bit, but was super happy to have her be found safe" Christy looks Judith in the eyes before continuing with, "And my Bud is the fact I get to have a wonderful chat with all your therapists tonight where we will be sharing some information back and forth to one another about you all." "Ok Judith your turn but think before you speak"**

**Judith-smiling, and laughing says confidently, "My Rose was Drawing pictures today with Joan" "My Thorn was getting caught for sneaking off with my friend Virginia today and realizing I have to deal with the consequences from my actions" "My Bud, is…is wondering what is in store for tomorrow as I'm sure it will be an interesting day." "Joan, heads up don't repeat what I told you before, and Pass"**

**Joan-all she wanted to do was talk about how pissed she was about Judith, and then seeing Lady God, and well a million other things but decided to say instead, "My Rose was Drawing pictures, My Thorn was noticing Judith could have been lost, and wondering where she was. And My Bud is wondering what interesting things Judith seemed to be hinting at that tomorrow will bring."**

**Amy-"Great sounds like everyone had a pretty good day, and I'm glad most of you are looking forward to tomorrow." "The next round will be a fear or a couple fears you have in life." "I'll pass Right to Joan."**

**Joan- "I fear when I leave this place, my boy friend and best friend will think I'm crazy." "I also fear my parents will still think I'm crazy and treat me as such" "I fear that my dad may get hurt when he goes to work because he is a detective." "And I fear I will be a forced to change my views on life in a way that well make me view things different." "I lastly fear crazy dreams with Evil Kola Bears in Hats" "Pass"**

**Judith-"I fear my mom has to much say in what happens here and hence in my life indirectly at the moment." "Pass"**

**Vickie-"I fear being misunderstood for being who I am can impact me in unfair ways in life." "Pass"**

**Christy-"I fear anything bad happening to any of you both while you are at Gentle Acres and when you go home" "I worry about all of you a lot, and I fear especially when you make really bad decisions, you could hurt yourself or others." "Pass"**

**Annette-"I fear Sunshine." "I fear Happy People and even worse Clowns" "I fear that every day I wake up I'll be in a place like Gentle Acres-and then even worse I fear that someday I may like a place like Gentle Acres and not mind being there." "Pass"**

**Brie-"I fear my friends won't like me when I come back" "I fear I won't be good enough in life to have my parents love me the way they used to" "Pass"**

**Amy-"I fear not trying my best in life at something important to me; I could let myself down by knowing I didn't try my hardest." "Alright Circle" "Tonight we are going to do some meditation instead of a final round." "So I would like you all to move the chair against the wall and lay on the floor on your backs." "I love doing Mediations because it is a great way to help me relax when I had a stressful day."**

**The group moves the chairs back, and lies on the floor. As Amy leads around of meditation having them relax different muscles by tensing and releasing. After about a half hour half the group has fallen asleep but Amy continued not even caring if they were asleep because she thought I guess they are relaxed. Once she finished the mediations she decided to hand out meds to the girls who need them.**

**Christy-"Ok Bed Time." "Judith you will need to come with me after this, we need to discuss today's incident from earlier with a certain Mrs. Fran Montgomery"**

**Judith-Rolls her eyes and says, "Great, is there time to go hang myself first?"**

**Joan-"Is Fran your new therapist?" **

**Christy-"Joan you need to go to bed now." "I'm sure Judith will fill you in with all the gushy fun details of her incident later."**

**Joan goes to her bedroom, and she and Darlene Go to bed shortly after the lights are out.**

**Joan-The next morning, she notices Judith isn't in her bed, and wonders if she got in major trouble for getting caught smoking yesterday. Joan thinks well maybe they had her sleep somewhere else so as not to wake me and Darlene up or something. Joan goes to flags, and this time was prepared for the canyon to go off when it did. Joan was also happy to see Judith and Virginia were standing next to Christy with a snug unhappy look on their faces yet, Joan was happy they both were at flags and not off somewhere else.**

**Joan-Once Joan got a bowl of corn pops, and went to sit down next to Virginia and Judith at her table she was unsure why, but Christy was sitting between them. However, having there be four chairs at every table takes the last empty one and sits down.**

**Christy-Smiling says, "Morning Joan, I hope you don't mind but I'm in charge of watching your friends for a while a little closer than usually." "I'll be hanging out with you most of not all day."**

**Joan-curious about what is going on asks, "Is this about yesterday?"**

**Christy-"Yes, Joan it is" "I'm sorry to inform you but your friends are both in some trouble at the moment." "So until everything works out and I feel comfortable enough to leave them alone both of them will be followed by a counselor at every moment of everyday."**

**Joan-unsure says, "I can still sit here, and talk to them-Right?" "Or should I go move and sit somewhere else for now?"**

**Judith-"Joan please stay" "I'm sorry I'm just not sure what to talk about at the moment with the new company present."**

**Virginia-confidently and proudly asks, "So did Judith get to fill you in on what we did yesterday to warrant a new lemming counselor?"**

**Joan-looking more at Christy-who wasn't saying a word now, but shrugged her shoulders to say it will get out eventually ask and answer away "Somewhat, she said you went to smoke cigarettes by the woods."**

**Virginia-"Ok just making sure you know what is going on"**

**Joan-"Well what did that Fran lady have to say last night?"**

**Virginia-looks at Judith and said, "Fran…You got to talk to your mom last night?" "HA HA I want to hear about this one."**

**Judith-holding her breakfast bowl extra tight answered, "Not really, Fran/ my mom still doesn't want to talk to me actually." "She just talked to the counselors and therapists, I didn't get any say in anything, but I got to listen into the conversation, and then got chewed out afterwards" "Fran actually was talking of sending me somewhere else for the summer." "However, I think she was just trying to scare the administration here into watching me closer." "I doubt my mom cares to send me anywhere else as most other programs would force her to get counseling too, and as a therapist her self she feels that is a waste of time."**

**Virginia-"Hmm sounds like you got in more trouble then me-That sucks!" "All I got was the How did you do it? and what else did you sneak in questions" "Oh, I also got the underage smoking speech, and how Gentle Acres is suppose to be rehab for me and I shouldn't be caught smoking, but really that was to be expected, and didn't really phase me much."**

**Christy-"Well Virginia, I'm glad you are pleased with yourself at the moment."**

**Virginia-"Pleased, Hell No, I'm not pleased!" "Pleased would have been if I could smoke freely without a lecture-- like at home." "Pleased would have been me not getting caught and having the option to smoke again today or next week sometime."**

**Joan-"So do you both smoke all the time at home too?"**

**Virginia-"Heck yeah, and I have way more options in the smoking department too" "I just felt if I snuck in anything else here and got caught I would be sent directly to jail, and I'm sick of that place."**

**Judith-"Virginia, stop giving Joan war stories and just shut-up for once." **

**Virginia-"Shut-up yourself Judith, you out of everyone here has absolutely no room to talk or tell me to shut-up"**

**Christy-"Ok, Ok stop already" "No wonder Judith is punching you at every meal Virginia, you are constantly pushing buttons and not caring about anything."**

**Everyone sat in silence while eyeing each other and giving weird looks wondering who would speak next, and eventually breakfast was over-with no one saying another word. Then everyone was to line up when asked, and went to the Volleyball court to play the sport of the day. Yet, again both Echo and Luna where present to play. The teams where 6 on 6 and only Amy and Cat played for the counselors. Christy seemed to walk off somewhere to have a break or something, and Emily took a seat on the grass to watch.**

**The Volleyball game begun with Vickie serving for Luna, and she ended up winning the game without even losing the serve.**

**Brie- Excitedly said "Vickie you are really good at serving"**

**Vickie-returning the compliment says, "You are not bad yourself honestly.**

**Brie-Proudly says "Yeah I know I'm good I used to be the star in school." "Yet I stopped playing I think I really miss Volleyball" as she spiked the ball in Virginia face for the second time in a row, as they continue the playing of the game.**

**Judith-moved her arm out to pretends to the hit the ball but didn't make a diligent effort and said "Opps I missed"**

**Joan-Seeing Judith's lack of effort said sarcastically, "Ever watch the Show Daria on MTV? Because well that attempt totally mimicked the opening credits video"**

**Brie-"OMG I love that show, Quinn is like me in so many ways."**

**Annette-"Really, are you vice president of the Fashion Club at your high school too."**

**Brie- missing the sarcasm in Annette's comment says, "Actually my school doesn't have a fashion club." "I wish they did though"**

**Annette-rolls her eyes and says mimicking Daria "Ok"**

**Judith-"Alright I get the point, I'll try harder, but I'm not diving in the sand for the ball we are creaming the other team enough without me getting sand in my pants"**

**Eventually Volleyball time was over, and the Luna group left and, went directly to Art's and Craft's with both Amy and Judith in the front of the line. The schedule was different for today as no one had therapist to see. **

**Christy-who know returned from her break joins everyone from Luna in the Arts and Craft building and says, "So today, we are going to work with clay." "You can all make whatever I'll fire them in the Kilm later on." "However, if you are interested I can teach you how to make pinch pots, or give you suggestions on other animals" "just let me know if you want any help." Christy then sat down again next to Joan and Judith.**

**Amy-"Ok I'm giving out chunks of clay if anyone wants more don't be afraid to ask for some."**

**Joan-trying to discover the secrets to her counselor's lives asks, "Christy, where did you go during Volleyball you missed a good game?"**

**Christy-"I just went for a walk by the Lake, to get some me time."**

**Joan-"Do you walk by the lake often?"**

**Christy-"Joan, sure it is pretty to walk by the lake, however why do you care were I went?"**

**Joan-"I was just curious"**

**Judith-"The counselors believe if they stay to close to the crazy children long enough, they too will go crazy."**

**Christy-"I don't think I would go crazy, crazy, but if I get the chance it is nice to get away now and then or yeah I might go kind of crazy."**

**Joan-"Why is the word crazy used so much around here?" "Now that drives me Crazy!"**

**Judith-"Joan so what would you prefer, Nuts, Weird, Odd, or mentally not there?"**

**Joan-pretending to ponder-"Weird seems ok"**

**Judith-"Hey Joan"**

**Joan- "What?"**

**Judith-"You are defiantly hard core weird"**

**Joan-shaking her head says, "I don't even know why I bother trying."**

**Judith-shrugging and says, "Probable because you are weird like that."**

**Joan-Pounding her clay against the table says, "Thanks, I feel so much better after that"**

**As time passes everyone works on their clay sculptures and at the end of the hour the finished products looked good by everyone. Joan ended up making a frog with a giant mouth and tiny legs. Joan looked at Judith's clay and was totally unsure of what hers was.**

**Joan-pointing at her 2 clay sculptures and asks, "Judith what is it you made?"**

**Judith-"I'm not sure but it looks like I made a hermaphrodite sex goddess and her mate." **

**Joan-laughing at her answers says, "Why would a hermaphrodite need a mate?"**

**Judith-"Oh good point" and laughs**

**Christy-"It is conversations like this that make me want to go for long walks along the lake" "Ok everyone it is lunch time lets line up and head on over to lunch."**

**Once at lunch, Christy true to her word was sitting at Joan, Judith, and Virginia's table.**

**As everyone was eating spaghetti.**

**Virginia-"Why is it that the spaghetti tastes so weird here?" "I honestly don't get it?" "Even my spaghetti from the can tastes better than this."**

**Christy-"If I told you, it might gross you out."**

**Virginia-"Wait there is a reason it is gross?" "Let me guess the counselors pee in it."**

**Christy-"Ok, never mind on the fact the answer may gross you out; I think I lost my appetite for spaghetti now, Thanks Virginia"**

**Joan-"I agree, that was uncalled for, even from you."**

**Christy-"All I was going to say is they actually cook the spaghetti in the plastic bag." "They actually don't remove the noodles till after they are cooked in the end." "I think some of the plastic from the bag goes into the spaghetti, yet science or the FDA hasn't approved my theory yet."**

**Judith-"Wow, is that really how the spaghetti is cooked here?"**

**Christy-"Yeap, I used to work in a kitchen and have seen here what type of spaghetti they buy from GFS and it defiantly is cooked that way."**

**Joan-"Christy, so are you sick of following Judith around yet?" "I mean no offense but why is it you have to follow here around."**

**Christy-"It is just a procedure here." "If you go smoke cigarettes in the woods I would follow you around all day too."**

**Joan-"If I started smoking cigarettes in the woods, my dad would kill me the moment he found out, you would be watching me shot apart in tiny pieces."**

**Virginia-"So your dad is a cop ahh?" "What is his name?" "I wonder if I have ever met him before?"**

**Joan-skeptically said, "Will Girrardii"**

**Virginia-"Awesome now I know your last name, I'll face book stalk you when I get home."**

**Christy-"Remember, you are not suppose to stalk people, and you did sign a confidentiality form a few days ago." "The goal being to stop stalking behavior when you go home."**

**Joan-"Don't worry I'll add you as a facebook friend when I get home?" "What is your last name by the way?"**

**Virginia-"It is pretty hard to stalk me down from my last name, it is Lee"**

**Joan-"Ok, but now I can hack in to my dads computer files and learn everything about you." "What do you think of that Virginia Lee"**

**Virginia-"I wouldn't care, but promise me you look up Judith too while you are at it."**

**Joan-"Hey, Judith what is your last name so I can facebook stalk you later."**

**Judith-"I am not allowed to have a facebook account anymore."**

**Joan-"Really, Why?"**

**Virginia-laughing says "Yeah, Judith you used to have an account what happened facebook don't want to see your ugly face anymore?"**

**Judith-trying to avoid the question says, "Joan, my last name is Montgomery."**

**Joan-"Sweet, but if I did search your name in my dad's computer would I find anything?"**

**Christy-interrupts this question to avoid Judith having to answer and says, "Hey Joan, since getting up is a pain because I'm suppose to watch these two will you go put our trays away for us?" "It would be really helpful."**

**Joan-happy to help says, "No problem, I'll be right back."**

**Judith-"Hey Christy, thanks for interrupting that question, I really didn't want to answer it yet."**

**Christy-"No problem." "However, you might want to explain a few things about yourself at dinner or reading your impact letter might not go over so well tonight."**

**Judith-"That is tonight?" "OMG you are right we have been here over a day now."**

**Virginia-"Impact Letters-Love THEM!!!" "I so can't wait, Christy you totally just made my day."**

**Amy-"Alright everyone line up and lets go outside for one long afternoon of alone time."**

**Once in the field, everyone was given all afternoon to work on their journals, and workbooks. Everyone picked a seat of their choice and worked on stuff. **

**Joan-looked over at Judith and wondered why she looked so awkward lying in the big open field? It was like she didn't want to be there at all, and spending time by herself was killing her. **

**Judith-looked over and caught Joan's glare, and decided to turn around. Judith once turned around thought wow; I only have tonight at dinner to give Joan a preview into my life. What could I possible say that would make me seem like a decent person? I wish I knew ahead of time what my mom will say, so I could plan appropriately and not over share any extra information. Judith pulled out her journal and draws as a way to distract her self from her past. **

**Judith-even though she has been sitting outside all afternoon by her self is shocked to think Wow, Christy left her side. She wondered if her term of punishment was up already for being followed, because it seemed to be. She looked over at Virginia who was also not being followed and was happy to feel she somehow she had earned back a small piece of her freedom.**


	5. Chapter 5

At Dinner, Joan takes what has become a routine seat for her with both Judith and Virginia, and is happy to see tonight's dinner is Taco's which Joan feels no body can really screw up, and she planned to eat them all very happily. Joan was also, happy that her friends no longer had a counselor following their every move.

Virginia-Happily picking up a Taco from her own plate and stuffs it in her face, in one bite while saying with a mouth full of Taco "So welcome to dinner of day 3, Judith you know what tonight is don't you?"

Judith-"Yeah, but I would rather eat the grossest meal here-that Chicken Casserole Surprise Shit then have something wonderful like Taco's knowing the counselors are only trying to brighten up our day before what will happen tonight."

Joan-curiously "Judith, what happens on the 3rd night here?" "and if it is something special why haven't you told me about it yet?"

Virginia-"Ha Ha Ha, it is the night your parents tear out whatever is left of your soul Joan"

Joan-ignoring the soul stealing tactics of Virginia and says hopefully, "Huh…Wait are my parents coming here tonight?"

Judith-"Oh no… sorry to have Virginia giving you false hopes of you getting out of here…That Joy won't come till August. You are stuck here till then Joan how many times do we have to tell you that? and no you will not be seeing your parents tonight either."

Joan-"Then how are my parents going to tear out my soul as Virginia put it so nicely?"

Virginia-"Wow Judith, I thought you would have told Joan all about tonight by now it is only the craziest night ever around here and you two spend almost all day together." "As it is my favorite night around here I would have been basically jumping out of pants in excitement to tell Joan, about the crazy stories of past clients." "Hmm well if Judith didn't tell you Joan I feel it is only fair for me to give you a heads up, Joan, tonight is impact letter night."

Joan-jokingly and missing the word letter added says, "Haven't I had enough of an impact already, spending the last few days with you girls?"

Virginia-proudly says "Well although that is probable true, as I have been known to have that impact on people" "Joan tonight is the first night you will get a letter from your parents or guardian"

Joan-thankfully says "Sweet, I was wondering when we would get mail from our families… My parents promised me cookies and other goodies from time to time."

Judith-in disbelief, "Goodies! I have been here two full summers and have never seen food make it through in the mail." "Sorry to bust your bubble Joan, but I doubt very much you will be receiving any cookies while you are here."

Virginia-Laughing at Joan's clueless nature too says, "Yeah Joan, I agree with Judith, we are on summer 3 here and I personally have never seen any girl get so much as a crumb of food in the mail." "And I know for a fact, Judith parents and my parents would never even think of sending food to us… even if it was possible in the first place-which I doubt it is."

"Right Judith?" Judith-looked at Virginia pissed at that comment, but didn't say a word.

Joan-Whole expression dropped to beyond disappointment at hearing her letters would not have food in them but said, "Well I guess I can at least read their letters, and write back." "I really do miss my parents now that you brought it up; I can't wait to get my letters, I hope my parents send me jokes, and pictures, owhhh and news paper clippings that my brother Kevin has written." "hmm yeah I think I will ask my parents for those things as I'm sure stuff like that can get through the mail with no problem."

Judith-still showing some bitterness at this whole conversation says, "Jokes, Newspaper Clippings, Pictures, Really Joan, what are you five and at summer camp This is Crazy Camp. What ever makes you think your parents would take the time to send you stuff like that?"

Joan-Taken aback by Judith's sudden bitterness responds cautiously with, "Well if they don't think of it on their own I guess I can ask them and I'm sure they will say yes. I mean why not? Jokes could help me improve my moral for being here, and I would love some photos too."

Joan-looks at Judith who looks completely pissed at Joan at the moment before asking, "What is wrong with you Judith? You look completely ready to bomb the whole world or something."

Virginia-"Joan, ignore Judith right now, she is pissed because her parents barely even write her back let alone send her cool stuff."

Judith-Reaching breaking point says, "Fuck off Virginia" and punches Virginia extremely hard in the stomach.

Christy-seeing the hit says, "JUDITH! Get your butt over here now, you know better than to portray that behavior here."

Judith-Grabs her tray, pushes her chair in forcefully, and walks over to Christy.

Christy-looking directly into Judith's eyes says disappointedly "What has gotten into you Judith?" "Put your tray down next to me now, I let you off safety watch early and what do you do but hit your friend, you will be finishing your meal at the counselor table and after dinner I expect you to go apologize to Virginia for hitting her."

Joan-watches as Judith looks like she is starting to calm down at the counselors table, and asks Virginia,"Wow, Judith seemed really pissed at you? Did you know pressing her buttons would make her hit you that hard?"

Virginia-holding her hit stomach with her hands over it she starts laughing, "Well I knew it would piss her off, but I didn't expect her to hit me that hard, I was only joking." "Oh well I guess it is up to me to give you the 101 on impact letters now." "Joan, tonight you will be asked to read your first letter from your parents out loud."

Joan-scared says, "Wait, read it out loud to my group tonight? Do I get to read it first? Do I have a choice in this?"

Virginia-"Yeap, Nope, and Nope" "and the last 2 nopes are not double negatives meaning yeaps" "You will not get to read the letter first; you will have to stand up and read it out loud to your group, and no there is no option of refusal this time." "I tried to refuse last year, and after 10 minutes of the group staring at me to read the letter, a counselor took the letter back and read it out loud for me" "Which trust me is way worse than reading it yourself"

Joan-"Crap, this letter reading sounds like peer torture."

Virginia-happy to see the fear in Joan's eyes and delighted to know she caused it says, "Oh and the major catch is this letter will explain to you why your parents decided to send you here in the first place" "Most girls cry a lot, the first time around reading such a letter and like I said earlier your parents tend to steal the last of your soul by forcing your group to learn some of your dirty secrets from back home."

Joan-"I would like to think you are lying to me right now, but for some reason after seeing Judith's reactions, I doubt you are and I am happy you told me this ahead of time."

Joan finished her tacos, not nearly as excited about tacos as she was a half hour ago, and waited for dinner to be over without saying another word.

Amy-"Alright Ladies you know the drill, this time I want you all to line up by birth date" "Starting with today's date up front."

Everyone lines up with little difficulty, and walks silently to take a shower like usual, after showers Joan scared slightly walks into her Luna Circle group for Impact Night and sits down next to Judith in her normal seat. After another minute Brie, Annette were sitting in their normal seats, and Joan was shocked to notice Judith hasn't said a word to her or anyone since she left for the counselors table earlier.

Joan-"Hey Judith, you nervous about tonight?" "Cause yeah I'm feeling pretty terrified right now"

Judith-let out of breath of air, while looking at Joan and whispers into her ear so the other new clients who have become suspicious all of a sudden didn't hear what she had to say, "Joan, I really don't want to be here right now." "I usually don't care about impact letters, but today, right now, I'm not a fan of the idea of being torn apart by my mother."

Judith-was tempted to add how she also didn't want Joan, to hear whatever her mom had to say, but decided against it realizing her mom may not include everything she has done wrong, and leaned back in her chair as though trying to zone out.

Amy-walks in with a handful of letter that looked freshly printed off a computer, and takes her normal seat next to Joan, like usually.

Christy-walks in behind her, and decides to sit one seat over next to Judith today.

Judith-looks over at Christy as she takes a seat, with an expression that clearly said really, Why?

Last to enter was Vickie who after seeing Judith hit Virginia at dinner wasn't one bit shocked to see Christy had moved over a seat. Vickie took the last seat and now the circle was complete of all the participants.

Amy-looking at all the curious faces Amy says, "Tonight is a very special night." "Tonight will not consist of the typical rounds or questions like usual." "Tonight is impact letter night." "We will be going around the circle and each of you will stand up and read out loud your very first letter from your parents." "I didn't get a chance to read them ahead of time this year, so I am also eager to learn more about you girls with you tonight." "Lastly, because to some girls this is very scary to stand up and read a letter from your parents out loud, I have a few rules to make the situational fair and controlled." "First Rule, no one is to speak while someone is reading their letter." "Second, you are not allowed to read ahead, or read any part of the letter before it is read out loud." "Third if you need to take a break for whatever reason, fold your letter in half, take your short break, and then reopen the letter and continue where you left off." "And lastly, once you finished your letter you will be given the option if you would like to have feedback, comments, or questions from your peers." "If you don't want to answer questions or have feed back tonight, we might be able to have another round on impact letters tomorrow night." "Ok everyone feel they can follow these rules?"

Joan looked around the circle to catch the nods, and glimpses of all the girls say they agree with the rules, and nods as well. Joan also realized Judith didn't do either, but figured maybe she missed Judith nod, as the counselors seemed to take it that everyone agreed.

Amy then passes the letters to Christy.

Christy-"Alright, I feel it best if we start with Vickie today, and work around the circle to the right, having Judith go last." "So that is tonight's plan of action I hope there is no objections." Christy then motions for Vickie to stand up, and as she does hands her, her impact letter.

Vickie unfolds the letter, looks at her crowd, and starts reading confidently.... Dear Vickie, Hey, it is both of your parents here and we want you to know, we are behind you 100% in whatever choice you make, and love you very much. Vickie we sent you to camp because we feel you have went through a lot this year, with making it known to the whole school that you are Bi, and losing a lot of your old friends in the process. Vickie we want you to know your short spiky hair and piercings are totally fine with us if that is who you want to be. Just remember how you laughed when you spotted your dad's old blue jean jacket, and mom's flowered shirts with peace signs made you feel and I'm sure we can relate. However, if you want to rethink your sexual preferences and start over in another school we can happily jump in the van and move across the country while you are gone, and you can start over in life. Vickie, we want you to know you being Bi or thinking you are Bi had no impact on us sending you to Gentle Acres this summer. It was mainly all your other poor life choices Vickie we are worried about. For example not going to school because you say it is "Boring and you don't learn anything important there anyways" and while in some ways we agree with you we would like you to go anyways. Vickie you have a 142 average IQ which most people would love to have, and you have a 1.6 G.P.A. average this year. Come on Vickie, we know you are very intelligent and well school probable is boring for you now and then, but honestly we don't want you skipping to smoke pot, or hang out with your 22 year old girlfriend anymore. You need to go to class you are still in High school and deserve to enjoy your high school experience. Right now we are scared if you keep up your current choices you will not make it to graduation and the options of you going to a decent college, and having a normal life will be be harder to accomplish. Vickie you are only, 15 years old and dating a 22 year old is too big of an age gap. Both me and your mom, are very happy to see in your life you are confident with who you are, are strong willed, and can be extremely passionate like when you took place in that Gay Pride Rally a few months ago. Sure the neighbors talked when they saw you on the newspaper cover holding a Gay Pride Sign but whatever "We as parents couldn't have been prouder of you fighting for something you believe in." Vickie, we are worried about your life choices, and sending you to Gentle Acres this summer was our way of taking a stand for your future. Also, we want to say we miss going to all your sporting events like when you were in middle school. Remember you were one of the best in the State in Soccer, Rugby, and swimming, we would love you to consider joining the high school teams next year because we know you will do excellent, you love sports, and well maybe you could even make some new friends. Vickie, we are not trying to pressure you into anything you don't want for your future. However, we do want you to spend this summer thinking about the choices you are making in a safe environment. Peace and Love Always XOXXO MOM and DAD!

Christy-"Nice Job, Vickie reading your letter, you were very clear and it was easy to hear you." "Vickie would you like feedback or to answer questions?"

Vickie-"Sure, ask away, I don't care."

Annette-wondering can't help but ask, "So Vickie, are you Bi? Or are you a lesbian? Or are you strait?"

Vickie-expecting this question to come up says, "I am pretty sure I am a lesbian" "It is just who I am, I feel I was born with these feelings, and most likely I won't ever change them." "A few years ago I tried to have a boyfriend, and my parents thought he-Mike-my now ex- was cool, and still believes I swing that way too in life"

Vickie-looking around at everyone asks, "Anyone else?"

Brie-sticks her finger in the middle, and once has all eyes on her asks, "Are your parents Hippies?"

Vickie-laughing says, "Wow, you caught that just from the letter, that's pretty cool. Yeah they are both Hippies, in fact all most all the pot I smoke I steal from their private stash in the bedroom, and they never seem to notice or care."

Vickie-"Anyone… Anyone Else… Judith or Joan Anything?" "Alright then I think I am done for now, that really wasn't to shocking of a letter or as hard to hear as I thought it would be"

Christy-happy the first letter was such a success says, "Yeap, Vickie your done for now." "Annette you are next up." And hands Annette her folded letter.

Annette stands up looking slightly annoyed with having to read her letter out loud but really she just doesn't care what the letter says, she just don't want the attention of the group focusing on her for any length of time.

Annette reads—Dear Annette….Both me and your Father love you very much, however lately you have been portraying some unhealthy behavior. In the last 3 months we have had you hospitalized for suicidal actions 2 times, and still worry about your wishes to die. Annette we remember when you were younger and happier, always a ray of sunshine, smiling on to the world. Now a days we doubt you even see sunshine even on the brightest days-you lock yourself up in your room all day, or wear XL Black Hooded Sweatshirts all the time-This makes us really sad for you as parents. Also, you are constantly walking around hoping the world will be destroyed at any moment-and if that don't happen soon you may try to make it happen yourself. Annette you threatening to blow up the school and getting suspended was not a wise thing to do-even if you where joking. Your teachers at school are worried about you as well and labeled you as an Emo child during a parent teacher conference. We both believe your teachers are right in some senses, as you will hardly ever talk to us, or look us in the eyes when we ask you where you were the night before, and well you tend to skip class to sleep all day if we don't wake you up before we go to work.

Annette-stops for a second to scan the next part of her letter, and rolls her eyes. Annette continues to still show no emotion what so ever to what she is reading but clears her throat to just mumble the rest of the words out as she continues reading.

Annette Continues Reading skipping a sentence "what button is go?" every button is go!" I'm going to punch them "how do you punch?" "wait, wait, I've got circle, circle nine arch 5... no I have no idea!?" should I swap for a shot gun?" I think I've got more shotguns over here" shazammm! Oh **** terrible news everybody..."that's a grenade" Oh my God I'm dying " This is the conversation that me and your father hear through your locked bedroom door almost everyday and actually most nights too.

Joan-Thinks of Luke and Friedman at the arcade playing video games and can't help but laugh at the accurate depiction of Annettes parents letter to a video game player in action.

The whole group looks disapproving at Joan for snickering out loud. Joan voices a silent sorry, and then covers her mouth with her hand-while looking down at the ground and thinking about Luke. The group then looks, back to Annette as if a sign for her to continue her impact letter.

Annette- Continues reading---We are glad you and your friends have a hobby but staying up till 5am every night then sleeping in school is not a healthy life. So the reason we sent you to this camp this summer is for you to get some fresh air, and to learn new things about yourself so you can come home with some new positive life goals instead of just an addiction to video games and being depressed and suicidal all the time. With Happy Rays of Sunshine and Lots of Love Mom and Dad.

Chirsty-"So does anyone have any comments to Annette's Impact letter they would like to say?"

Judith-trying to distract her self from her current thoughts sticks out her finger and is called on by Christy then says jokingly in what she attempts to be a polite question, "Well did you swap for the shot gun?, I heard Shot Guns and Snipers Rifles are a great combination for most shooting games?"

Annette looks over at Judith with a look of disgust but says matter of factly, "I prefer automatic machine guns actually and it is totally what I would use to finish you off if I had the chance…hmmm and Judith to answer your question that must have been my friends speaking that my parents heard and quoted in the letter" Annette looked totally annoyed with Judith's stupid comment but tried her best not to show it as she rolled her eyes and sat down in her chair thankful to have this impact experience behind her.

Amy-quickly and hoping to end this conversation says, "Alright any other questions? Or Comments for Annette?" "Ok Good lets move on to Brie Now"

Brie-Gets handed her impact letter for the first time as if it too is a grenade ready to go off, careful she opens it and starts to read out loud.

Brie Reading—Dear Brie, Both me and your mother love you very much and sending you away to this camp was a way to help you in your future. We love watching you perform in cheer leading, singing, dancing, and theater; you are such a talented daughter who is both popular, and a leader at your school, and you should be very thankful in life for such a role. However, you seem to have been blowing off school practices for volleyball this year in order to spend time with your new older friends. Knowing that in High school it is almost normal to blow off one or two practices here and there but over time you seemed to appear less and less until you dropped out altogether. As parents we never even got to see you play this year in a tournament or game which was hard for us knowing you loved the sport and were the star player last season. Brie starts sobbing but continues reading-"The new friends you have been making are all in their 20's and we are afraid they through peer pressure are making you do things you are not ready for, or should never be ready for-for that matter. It was the lowest point ever for us as parents having to go to the local jail to bail out our daughter who just got a minor in possession and while still hung-over from her latest college party throws up in our brand new Explorer on the way home." The truth is we don't care about the Explorer as we already got a new one, but the truth is we care about you, and your behavior. So Brie please spend this summer thinking about who you want to be in the future, and learn to make more positive life choices and goals. XOXOO MOM and Dad

Brie now sits down quickly and is hysterically crying like there is no tomorrow. The group just looks at Brie, and silently decides not to question her letter at all, as they doubted she could answer even if she wanted to at the moment.

Amy-"Alright, Brie do you want any feedback or comments?"

Brie-still crying just shakes her head.

Amy-"Ok so next up we have Joan" and Amy hands Joan her letter.

Joan-nervous starts shaking her hand back and forth as she opens the letter, scared for what the letter could say. Joan takes a look at Judith who is watching her intently with curious eyes, as she nods her forward to start reading. Joan bites her bottom lip and opens the letter and starts reading out loud.

Joan Reading—Dear Joan, Life at home has been quieter lately but the whole family is missing the noise you bring to our house. Joan the family all loves you very much and not having you around is extremely hard. Your mom has cried her self to sleep the last few nights, and is constantly questioning if we made the right choice sending you to the camp. However, I feel the doctors didn't leave us much of a choice-with the medication you are on. Your medication does need to be closely monitored yet this isn't the entire reason we sent you away. It is scary to think you our only daughter has Lyme Disease and there is nothing we can do to make your hallucinations stop. We as parents are unsure when exactly you started hallucinating but feel you have been acting weird most of your sophomore year. It pains us to feel we now have two of our three children with a chronic condition we can't cure. Yet, it is because of your odd behavior we have sent you away to get some help, we hope you take this time to learn about yourself, and see reality more clearly. I just want you to realize how much the family loves you and you feeling abandoned when we left you at Gentle Acres was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I can't imagine how hard this is for you but seeing how strong you have been even amongst your sickness makes me realize what all parents fear – you are growing up, and we can't shelter you from the world forever.

Joan stops for a second to take a deep breath while still looking down at her letter and tries to hold back a few tears but fails as tears start to roll down her cheek.

Joan Continues Reading—I know you hate therapy, but even me your father who also despises the idea, feels it will be good for you to take a look at your behavior. First off it is hard to know what was caused by lyme disease and which parts are because you are a teenager, but overall your behavior has been odd. This past year you started to build a huge boat in our garage, and then started skipping school to work on it all day long. What am I suppose to say when I get calls from vice Principal Price telling me you are skipping class again, and then says it is impacting your AP chemistry Grade which you surprisingly begged to be in the week before. Then the very next week you joined the chess club, but never showed any desire in this either until the day you came home and at family dinner said "well I refused to represent the chess club today at school in the next tournament." That was the first and last time I ever heard about you playing chess-if you want to play chess, Joan it seems like it is something you had a talent for, maybe you should have stuck with it. When you come home in August we should even play a game sometime for fun. Yet, me like everyone else in our family was surprised you moved on from Chess and tried out for cheer leading next. Ok, I believe I'm the detective in this family and most people don't jump from chess to cheer leading over night. Luke even said it didn't seem logical and the odds were remarkable high for a sane person to do such a task, are you telling me Luke is wrong about logic because I think he has a pretty good case. Joan, the family is here for you but we need some answers, and it seems you just keep giving us more puzzles to solve to figure you out each day. Then while cheer leading, you were so self involved you didn't notice a pregnant cheerleader. Usually cheer leaders are all about noticing physical appearances. However, as a pattern is starting to form here, we didn't really question you wanting to be a cheer leader for only a few days. Actually as parents we were kind of happy you decided to stick with your current friends of Grace and Adam instead of trying branch out in an attempt to be popular."

Joan stopped reading for a moment as tears were rolling down her face now big time and she could barely speak. She then wiped her eyes with her red hoody sweat shirt sleeve and tried desperately to calm her nerves down, to avoid breaking down completely in front of everyone. Joan while examining her feelings felt both pissed with her parents for making her read this letter out loud as it contained all this information about her, but also annoyed cause her letter seemed longer and more well thought out then the other 3 so far, and lastly, felt ganged up on by her supposed loving family. Joan also noticed the group staring at her, and Judith's look of surprise at the contents of Joan's parents letter, made her dread finishing the letter that much more. Joan thought I don't even want to know what else is said, but knowing she had no choice continued to read the letter.

Joan-Continues Reading---Then the next week we are in the hospital because you decided for the first time in your life to help out around the house by attempting to do the laundry. Although it was funny to learn you sprained your ankle in a washing machine of all places it was troubling to think, who puts their leg in a washing machine in the first place? Joan it is like one moment you are a brilliant young lady doing the most amazing things to help the world and then it is the complete opposite. Your mood swings are crazy, you often take a negative tone to me and you mom, and we honestly don't know what to do to help you anymore. All we want to do is help you Joan however, the second we feel any progress is being made we are being called to another meeting with Mr. Price because, you destroyed your boyfriend Adams art sculpture and got suspended. I know Adam forgave you and we did too but Joan although your intentions where good, you need to start realizing your actions have consequences before you destroy someone you loves sculpture. Adam could have made over 300 dollars for that piece and you destroyed it with a simple chair. Joan, I feel this letter may sound judgmental and in some ways it is meant to be, please just tell me you will consider this time at Gentle Acres as a time to examine some of you life choices. Because, when you get home, I don't know if the family can take anymore of your craziness of joining things like debate, drum/band, piano, yearbook, or worse yet going to a dance with someone who pulls a gun on you and me and threatens to hurt you. I can't stand seeing anyone threaten you Joan, and the Ramsey Dance incident was just one example of how you have been putting yourself in harms way this year.

Joan had to stop again to try to relax. Yet in reality all she did was start to wonder about her actions that got her sent here. Judith may have been right when she said "no one is sent her for just a medical condition" Joan for the first time thought wow maybe I am crazy enough to be here. Joan wiped her face and continued to read without wanting to even glance at the group in front of her.

Joan continues reading-Joan we are also proud of your ability to stand up for yourself. This year the family has went through a lot with moving to Arcadia, watching Kevin deal with the drunk driving accident which made him lose use of his legs, all the politics of life both at school and at my job, it is not surprising you didn't adjust well to everything being thrown at you lately, and all the changes that have been taking place. Yet, the whole family feels you were trying your best and we want you to realize we have seen a lot of good from you this last year. Your mom wanted you to know it was you standing up in debate that convinced her to become an Art teacher next year. It was you that Kevin said, inspired him to get the job at the newspaper, when you came home saying you got the job at the book store. Luke said he was shocked at first to see you in AP chemistry with him this year but was also impressed with your constant effort to improve in the subject. Luke was also majorly impressed with how you found me the night when I was kin napped on some country road, he gave me some huge math probability of the chances of such an event to occur, which I of course can't recall right now but I do know I was soooo happy to see you that night and as a result you probable saved my life. Joan you saved my life this year. Know I would like to help save yours Joan which is one of the reasons I was for sending you to Gentle Acres. Overall never forget the family is all proud of you, loves you more than you can imagine, wants you to know you mean more to us then any sum of money, or possession we own. Joan you are very special, and so please take the time at Gentle Acres this summer to learn for yourself how you being special can benefit you positively in the future. Joan the whole family misses you, wants you to get better and can't wait to see you in August. Love Dad, Mom, Luke, and Kevin XOXO.

Joan-folds up the letter, after focusing particularly on the last line with the whole families signatures next to the word love. Joan contemplates all the stuff in the letter and would like to just read the letter over and over again to make sure she didn't miss anything important. Joan then thinks wow, it is so weird to have so much written in black and white terms about my behavior. Joan although still crying sneaks a peak at her group for the first time in the last few minutes. Seeing the counselors and the whole group looking at her like a weird science fair project made her feel uncomfortable and quickly sits down in her chair.

After a few seconds, Joan looks at Judith who for the first time looks really scared in life, and refuses to look her back in the eyes. Joan, wonders if it was something in her letter or the fact that Judith will be reading her letter next that is making her room mate look some uncomfortable.

Amy-Cautiously asks Joan, "Joan, did you want any feedback or questions from the group at this time?" Joan-Still choking on some tears thinking her mind is in a million places at the moment and doesn't know if she can handle any more thoughts about the whole experience says "Maybe later, right now I would like some time to process the letter first myself, and I'm curious to hear Judith's letter I'm still not sure why she is here and want to know." Amy-Kind of happy with Joan's answer of being open to feedback later instead of now says "Ok and last but not least we have Judith" and Amy hands a folded up one page letter to Judith.


	6. Chapter 6

Judith trying her hardest to stay in control of her feelings puts on a I don't care- I hate my parents no matter what they say approach smirk on her face. Judith then looks at Joan one last time as though she was sure once Joan hears her mom's typically impact letter Joan would be gone like so many potential life friends. What bothers Judith most is Joan may be the first person she would have liked as a friend and soon she felt it would no longer be up to her in deciding if the friendship will continue. Judith unfolds the letter and takes a deep breath and begins.

Judith reading-"Dear Judith, We are very worried about the destructive behavior you have been portraying, which makes it impossible to help you when you are so defiant, and rebel against every rule we make to try to keep you safe. Both I and your father are concerned that the decisions you make now are impacting your lack of quality friend choices, poor grades, and low self-esteem towards life. Wow, I would thank God actually if that was all it was that was impacting you. From the outside you appear to be independent and not care but really you do care and yet you won't allow anyone particular us your parents the opportunity to help you. In reality your actions make me and your father feel you need stricter and more firm boundaries to keep you safe. Judith you are making these choices and need to realize we are not thrilled in the least with the results. We had no choice to send you to Gentle Acres this summer again because honestly it is the only place me and your father feel can control you and will keep you safe and alive this whole summer. Honestly, what do you expect us to do trust you to be left home alone when our summer is full of psychological conferences throughout Europe from time to time? Judith, that kind of trust you need to earn and by the actions we have seen from you lately, you are a long way away from such trust. To be honest I know I wouldn't even think of considering leaving you with a qualified baby sitter because you will just be out the front door doing something illegal by the time we drive more than 30 minutes away. All of your friends do drugs Judith, to most people this would be a flashing warning sign they are endangering their lives, yet you found friends who not only do drugs but are involved in gangs and selling drugs. It doesn't matter to me that you say they are the only friends you can find that like you, I would rather you had no friends at all then the ones you pick. Also, me and your dad are not reassured at all by the fact that you say "Well it is not like I sell drugs personally Mom so what is the big deal who my friends are"…BIG DEAL you want to know the Big Deal well how about this every time I hear on the news of a drug war or fight, I think I hope my daughter is still alive, and when I try to call you to make sure you are safe., oh big surprise your phone is off, or you don't care to answer it if you know it is your mother. Judith also it is very clear when you are at home which is like never these days, you don't care about me or your father at all, and every effort we try to help you appears to be another chance for you to fight back in your own way. For Example when we said your internet privileges were removed because you would stay up all night on AIM, you went to school the next day which in and of itself would be a miracle I would have loved but what did you do it wasn't go to class and learn something no you posted a strip tease video of your self on U-Tube and Facebook. Judith, if you put something on the internet like that you need to know it will be around forever on the internet. Judith, how do you think it makes me feel to know my baby girl put a video freely online where she struts her stuff half naked. I would love to think you care about your self image, and have some pride in your self but that seems out of your grasps. I can only hope you live long enough to do something in your future say try to run for office, or something. I feel I will be supporting you your whole life because well honestly, you don't think that video and a million other skeletons in your closet won't hold you back in your future? Oh however, all I hear from you about this is, you are annoyed your facebook account has been canceled permanently. Judith, I had to fight legally with Facebook, so they wouldn't sue you for violating their terms. Oh and If that wasn't bad enough Judith, we have spent days if not weeks crying in the hospital watching you detox from tripping on various recreational drugs, your stomach has been pumped from alcohol abuse 3 times already, It is like you are trying to kill yourself with your actions and now you are getting into legal trouble on top of it. Your decision to drive drunk could have resulted in you killing or severely hurting someone. Sure all you did was flip over your own SUV getting on the highway but you are just lucky you didn't get hurt in the process. Oh and what makes matters worse is we can see very well by your violation of your driving suspension and getting another driving violation on top of the DUI for getting caught going 87 MPH , you don't care, about hurting anyone for driving drunk or reckless. It is even sadder to think all you care about is the fact your license got suspended and we had to take away all your driving privileges till you are 18 years old. Judith, wake up! First off it was the State of Maryland that took away your driving license, and Second I don't blame them one bit, and there was no way I was going to try to fight back to allow you to keep your license. We are sick of hearing poor me stories, when you are tearing our family apart every second of every day. What about your poor parents, do you ever even consider our feelings, and efforts. Judith you need to start thinking about the severity of your actions, I can't stress this enough. In the last few months I and your father now have had to spend over 6 days out of our busy life schedules to help you avoid going to jail again. Honestly, Judith no 16 year old should have been through the court system 3 times already. Most of the Judges and attorneys even know you by name and you don't care. Think Judith; Think really hard about why we sent you to Gentle Acres again this summer, before you even consider writing us one of your bogus letters full of pity from you losing your summer to a place trying to help you. Because when it comes down to it Judith you need to think and remember it was either Gentle Acres again or Jail. Overall, Judith you wear me out just having to write this stupid letter again, so yeah stay safe this summer, explore your life choices, and find a new passion in life which doesn't involve nights in the E.R. or you ending up in jail. Since me and your father had a long talk again about you and well we feel if you keep it up one of these days we may choose not to bail you out again. Have a great summer Judith and remember this is your last chance, get better or don't be surprised if you end up in a therapeutic boarding school next fall. Sincerely, Mom and Dad.

Judith-finishes the letter and rolls it up in a ball and throws it on the floor as she is Screams pissed off "Therapeutic Boarding School, God I hate my parents" "I'll kill myself before I go to some stupid Boarding School" After saying that Judith didn't care about being in a circle of girls she had just received the harshest impact letter of her life and all she wanted to do was get away as quickly as possible.

Judith just walked out of the room and headed towards her bedroom not even caring about anyone but herself. Once Judith jumped on the top bunk of her and Joan's bed she lost it completely, and started to cry hysterically and silently screamed to herself why does my life suck so bad? Judith, felt she needed to get away quick but realized her choice of going to her bedroom prevented her the time she would need to run away successfully, because any second now the counselors would be coming to try to calm her down. Judith didn't want to calm down, she knew her life sucked, she knew she fucked up a lot, she may have been happy her mom spared a lot of really dirty details, but even this hurt because it was just another sign her mom couldn't even write her a lengthy impact letter at the moment because it might interfere with her busy life and make her feel like a mess up for raising her. Judith however, more than anything else was pissed that not once during her impact letter did her parents say anything positive to her. Judith, thought yeah maybe I did want Joan as a friend, but Hell, I would have given anything to have the love and positive ness that her family allowed her in her impact letter. My parents don't love me at all anymore. I'm just one big fuck up that needs to be sent away so they don't have to deal with me.

Back in the Circle everyone is just dumb founded at Judith's impact letter and her response to it. All the group clients look at each other and are not sure weather to feel sorry for Judith or just wonder how anyone could be that dumb.

Joan, thinks wow, no wonder Judith didn't want me to know about what she did before. Yet, what really pissed Joan off was she thought about Kevin, and how Andy's choices brought about Kevin's accident and all the pain her family has been going through ever sense the accident. Watching Kevin lie in the hospital, Joan remembers wondering if he would ever walk again or immediately afterwards if he would even live at all. The whole idea that Judith was sent her because she got a DUI and willingly broke her driving suspension, and all the other stupid choices she made really pissed Joan off. Joan hated knowing Judith willing put her self in Andy's spot by her own choices. Joan couldn't even comprehend willingly putting yourself naked online. Last year a picture of her mostly clothed made her feel violated when the school saw it. Joan's thoughts were interrupted by her counselors saying something-which brought her back into the present moment.

Amy-"Alright, well impact letters are the only chance we get to hear your parents reasons for you all coming here" "We have seen that it can be a huge impact as in Judith's case but in many ways we at Gentle Acres feel it is important part of your stay here to go through this experience together." "Lastly, you are done for the night, and can all go to your bedrooms now… Circle is over"

Immediately after closing the circle Amy goes in the corner of the room and gets on her radio to report to all staff about Judith's departure from circle. Christy immediately takes off to track down Judith location.

Joan-decides she is unsure if she wants to go directly back to her room as that is most likely were Judith and the counselors would be so decides to go to the bath room for a bit. Joan walks towards the bathroom she watches as Amy takes note of Joan's direction closely as she continues to talk on the radio. As Joan walks into the bathroom she notices a few new staff she has never noticed before looking around-most likely searching for Judith was Joan's reaction to the staff. Joan thinks as she takes an empty stale, how the bath rooms and showers are really the only place at Gentle Acres where you can have true privacy. Joan just sits on the toilet not even having to go—thinking about her whole night and her impact letter and Judith's impact letter.

Inside of Judith and Joan's bedroom, Christy finds Judith in her bed crying. Christy hits the ON bottom on her radio and says Judith has been found in her bedroom.

Judith takes note of Christy and thinks yeap I blew my chance to run away big time.

Christy-cautiously approaches and says,"Hey Judith, you know you shouldn't leave like that it makes everyone here worry about you."

Judith-"Yeah right, you only worry I might hurt myself and you will be at blame"

Christy-"Judith, be reasonable of course everyone her worries about your safety all the time." "Yet, do you honestly think any counselor here is only here to help you stay safe all day long?" "I personally believe every counselor here wants to help you and every other client here as much as possible." "Actually I would like to rephrase that slightly I personally know as I'm friends outside of Gentle Acres with most of the counselors here we all care about Judith." "Judith hmm and you know what else I think however I could be wrong with how you handled your impact letter tonight you may have found a good friend in your roommate Joan ."

Judith-"Yeah fucken right, If my parents loved me the way Joans seem to I wouldn't have been sent here again. I probable would be a completely normal teenager. My parents know I hate Gentle Acres and that is why my parents send me here." "and well if… if Joan… if Joan cared about me she would be back in her bed by now talking to me and you wouldn't need to be here in her place."

Christy-"Be fair Judith, Joan is going through a lot at the moment you just heard her impact letter and well Joan probable is just a tad afraid of you right now. Yet, think Judith you are here at Gentle Acres right now, you can still change your life, but you have to live one day at a time and stay present in the now. Your parents didn't say they were for sure sending you to a boarding school yet did they?" "No! It is still only an option"

Judith-"Option my ass, they don't care about me, I probable won't even get a chance to go home, they will send me directly from here to a therapeutic boarding school at the end of this summer. So really I don't want you to give me that fucken speech on options, choices and living in the present again crap"

Christy-"Well Judith, the way I see it, you know all the speeches, you know all the stories, you know all the ins and outs of being in therapy." "However, you continually choose to ignore and blow off anything that might help you change for the better." "Your parents are at wits ends with you at the present I kind of sense that, but if you were in their shoes how would you react to your past actions?"

Judith-"Well thank you Christy, for making me feel oh so much better…Now will you please just leave me the fuck alone for now."

Christy-"Sure Judith, however you will have a counselor outside your door for the night to make sure you stay safe…just letting you know you are on safety watch till your therapist takes you off."

Judith-"Whatever, as long as the counselor stays outside the door and leaves me the fuck alone I don't care."

Christy-"Oh Judith, I think we may relocate your room mates tonight to another bed room as well" "I'm going to go chat with Joan and Darlene right now" "Amy is outside your door for now if you need to talk let her know ok?"

Judith just looks pissed at Christy and says "What part of leave me the Fuck Alone did you not understand" Judith just lay in bed as Christy left and thought no way in hell am I speaking to anyone right now. I'm actually glad to get my own bedroom tonight.

Christy walks out of the room and tells Amy to stay put for now and watch Judith as she is exhibiting signs of danger, and may try to hurt her self or others at the moment.

Amy-"Sure thing Christy, my radio is On if you need me." "Oh Christy can you get me a temporary staff member to help keep eyes on Judith as well" "Good thinking, yeah I'll radio one in right now"

Christy-Then walks down the hall about 30 feet to where the restrooms are and asks "Hello, who is in the stales at the moment?" knowing very well it is Joan and Joan alone ahead of time.

Joan-"Oh sorry it is me, Joan, I will be right out." Joan gets up off the seat of the toilet and was about to exit the stale when she thought, to make things less suspicious she should flush the clear water of the toilet down.

Christy-"Ok well take your time, but I want to talk to you when you are done about Judith and your new bedroom for tonight"

Joan-opens the stale and says "Sure but can we talk somewhere besides the bathroom?"

Christy-"Sure thing Joan, in fact I think for just tonight it would be wise for you to sleep in a different bedroom to give Judith a chance to cool down some."

Joan-follows Christy to a room down the hall that is identical to her current room and Christy plops down in the seat of the only chair in the room, and Joan lays down on the bed.

Christy-"So what is on your mind at the moment Joan?"

Joan-"Well lets see I hate it here now more than ever, I just learned someone I thought could be normal and a decent friend is completely a juvenile delinquent nut case, oh and yeah I feel maybe I too am more crazy than what I thought 3 days ago when I arrived here."

Christy-tapping her finger slowly on the table says, "Interesting summery, but why do you think you are crazy Joan?"

Joan-"Well, I don't know, I didn't think so before, but hearing and rereading my impact letter a little bit ago, my family did have a few good examples that make me think I'm not really normal."

Christy-Pulls off her locked backpack off her back, and says "Well, I need to give your medicine for the night" "Can you please take it now?"

Joan-"Sure I'll take the medicine, I have some water right here" "Yet, Christy, do you think I'm crazy?"

Christy-"Joan, only you can decide if you are crazy?" "Why do you care what I think in the matter?"

Joan-"Well you are one of my counselors first off, and second you tend to spend all day with me and other children here, I guess I just wanted another opinion on the matter."

Christy-Pondering what Joan just said before responding waits a while then says, "Hmmm Joan, if it means that much to you, I will say when I first saw you a few days ago, I did think you appeared more normal than most clients here." "Yet, Joan I strongly feel every client here has something's they can work on and improve in their lives, and in some ways it don't matter if you are in here or in the real world everyone is crazy in some form." "I guess it depends on how you want to view the world and it comes down to the choices you make that determine if and how you and other people view."

Joan-"True, but I see things that are not there at all" "And it seems everyone else is here because they did something wrong or made bad choices." "I feel like everyone else has had more control over if they are crazy or not, and I'm just stuck with lyme disease."

Christy-"Joan, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, because I'm sure Dr. Dan is drilling you on these sort of questions but honestly I'm curious what is it you see that makes you feel you are crazy?"

Joan-"Well I have seen different things at different times, like one time I had a girl talking to me, then she split in to twins and two identical girls walked away."

Christy-"Hmmmm, wow that is kind of weird" "But you haven't seen anything since you have been on your meds have you?"

Joan-"Ok, now I don't want to answer anymore questions, this is getting to personal."

Christy-"Sure, yet what I really came to talk to you about is I am curious what you plan to do when you see Judith again?" "You two seemed to be becoming decent friends the last few days. Do you think you will still try to be her friend after tonight?"

Joan-Throws her arms up in the air to cover her face, but bangs them on the top part of the bed above her. "Owhh" and then lowers her hands to her face like she planned before.

Christy-"Owhh yeah, I have done that before, which is why I always choose to sit in chairs now." "Yet, seriously Joan… what do you plan to do about Judith?"

Joan-"Well I have been thinking about that non-stop for the last half hour"" and the only conclusion I have come up with is I am not sure yet?" "I think I'm going to sleep on it and decide tomorrow after talking to Judith actually."

Christy-"That is a wonderful idea, Joan, it is that kind of thinking that makes me feel you are not crazy" "Well the Group Echo is done with Impact letters now, I am going to go inform Darlene about tonight's new sleeping arrangements. I'll be back in a few minutes Joan."

Joan-lays on her bed, thinking surprisingly Christy had brought up a good point, what was she going to do about Judith? How lame would it be ditch someone just because of their past. Yet, seriously Joan didn't know if she had the strength and desire to be friends with Judith now that she knew her past. Joan also wondered if Judith's Mom left parts out of her letter and if so what else could Judith have experienced in life which could explain who she is now?

In a few minutes Darlene walks in and plops on the bunk bed across from Joan. Joan could see that Darlene had been crying as her eyes were all puffy, and her face was all red.

Christy-"So are you both alright for now?"

Joan-"Yah, I think so, Thanks"

Darlene-just kind shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head.

Christy- left the room for the night and soon the lights in the whole building were off.

Joan-"Hey, Darlene, I know we didn't get off on the best start a few days ago, but are you alright? Or would you like to talk about anything? I see that you were crying, is everything ok?"

Darlene-irritated slightly now says, "Joan, I hate talking, I hate therapy, and right now I hate the fact that I'm not asleep because you art trying to talk to me." "Yet maybe some other time we can talk, but right now I just want to go to sleep."

Joan-realizing yeah I think I agree with Darlene, I had an exhausting day too. Yet, Joan, felt it was only polite to offer to let people talk if they needed too. However, with Darlene she didn't know her well enough to even feel comfortable enough to talk to her, herself so she wondered why she even attempted to start a conversation with her just now. Joan knew if Darlene asked her the same question about life right now she to would just say she was sleepy as a form to avoid another awkward conversation.

Joan then says, "Sounds good, I'm pretty tired too, Good Night Darlene."

Darlene didn't say another word not even a good night response in return, and within a few minutes was snoring away in her bed.

Joan-After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, as her mind wouldn't stop racing through a million thoughts, and Darlene's snoring wasn't helping either Joan finally feel asleep too.

Joan Dreaming Now- Joan sees herself on a tiny wooden platform in a circus tent about to step on a tightrope high above a pool of firing flames below. She then notices Homeless Guy God standing in the middle of the tightrope effortless juggling. Upon closer examination Joan realizes God is juggling not round balls but miniature people in his hands. God, says "Hey Joan like my juggling? Why don't you come out here and give me a helping hand." Joan scared at the sight, says "You are not real, just a hallucination or in this case a bad dream" God says, "Joan, you are having a crises of faith at the moment, it is normal when your beliefs are questioned to wonder about the truth." Joan responds "and what if I don't ever believe in you again? Then what?" God then says "We have been over this before Joan, Freewill" God then throws all the miniature people he was juggling into the air and only catches, what appears to be a tiny version of her mom, Lily the ex-nun, and lastly Kevin. Joan saw God wasn't going or was choosing not to catch the rest of her family or friends and Joan immediately by instinct tried to grab all the falling people. Frantically she managed to catch a Luke/Grace who were coupled together for some reason, Adam, and her dad Will. Joan realizing she missed one yells NOOOOO.

Joan- Joan wakes up shaking and crying as she remembered but was trying very hard to refuse to watch the last part of her nightmare which was a tiny Judith hit the flames below. Joan hated all nightmares, but this one was just too scary for her to deal with on top of everything else going on in her life at the moment.

Joan still shaking and crying decided to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water from the drinking fountain before attempting to go back to bed again. As Joan stepped into the hall she saw Amy in the far corner of the hallway in a sleeping bag outside the door to her own bedroom.

Amy-Sleepily notices Joan, "Joan is that you?"

Joan-trying to hide her shaking and crying says, "Yeah I just want to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water"

Amy-"Sure, go ahead, but why are you shaking and crying?"

Joan-"Just a bad dream, I'll be fine in a few minutes don't worry"

Amy watches Joan get a drink of water, and walk into the bathroom, and then Joan walked back into her room again.

Joan-couldn't sleep at all the rest of the night as she was so shaken up, and was thankful to see the sun was starting to come up outside. Joan, wasn't sure but felt the dream was a warning and even if it wasn't a warning, she realized she couldn't and didn't want to responsible for dropping Judith as a friend just because of her past.


	7. Chapter 7

Day After Impact Letters

Joan goes to flags, half tired from not sleeping, but also both nervous and wanting to see Judith again to talk to her. At Flags Joan is not surprised to see the counselors are keeping a direct watch on Judith, however what makes Joan sad more is how Judith seemed to be avoiding looking at Joan like seeing her made Judith both depressed and not worthy. Joan knew something was up, and she wasn't sure if Judith was trying to avoid her or what?

Joan-in line to get breakfast sees an old lady serving biscuits and gravy with sausages and is terrified to continue to go up and get the food as she realizes who it could be.

Old Lady God- kindly, "Morning Joan, I see you were up early this morning, and now look tired."

Joan-sarcastically, "Like you would know, you were not there."

Old Lady God- directly, "I'm always there, it is just sometimes you choice to not see me Joan." "If I could give you a suggestion, I would advise you to start trying to see into Judith's life, you said yourself this morning you wouldn't desert her, I hope you decide to keep that promise."

Joan-scared, "Was that you in my dream last night?" "Was it a warning that I need to become friends with Judith or she will go to hell?"

Old Lady God- turned back into a cafeteria server says smiling, "Honey, do you need help?-Because I can easily call someone over to help you?" "If not I would feel it is wise to take your food and go eat now."

Joan-takes her tray and walks to her normal table to sit down between Judith and Virginia. As Joan is about to sit down next to Judith, she catches a skeptical look in Judith's eyes of what appeared to be shock, and disbelief.

Judith-motions with a full tilt of her head to take a seat, then says skeptically, "I thought you wouldn't be back."

Joan-"Why, wouldn't I come back today?"

Judith-honestly says, "Most people don't stick around."

Joan-trying to sound indifferent but coming off with a nervous higher than normal voice, says "Why? Because of last night-you didn't think I would sit by you at breakfast?"

Joan-slightly more confidently says, "You flipped out, got angry, and stormed off-What's the Big deal?" "I mean I still am curious why you would do all the stuff your mom said you did, but last night I think I can forgive you I probable would have done the same thing in your situation."

Virginia-who surprisingly hasn't said a word till now says, "Well, I'm glad you two appear to have gotten over the shock of last night, my mom after tearing me a new one said she feels this camp isn't helping me anymore and is pulling me from the program."

Judith-Pissed, "WHAT the Fuck!" "That is sooo not fair, you can't get pulled."

Virginia-happily, "I guess you are kind of jealous huh."

Judith-"Ah no-I think that is bull shit." "You haven't done crap since you got here 3 summers ago, and now you get to leave."

Virginia shrugs and then pulls out her copy of her impact letter and gives it to Joan and Judith to read.

Dear Virginia-Me and your father, feel with your last episode of misconduct yesterday that a different program will help you more. We are starting to see sending you to Gentle Acres again was actually a mistake on our part. As parents though we wanted to believe you were going to get better and this time around you would get with the program. This does not seem to be the case at all, and instead of learning new positive life skills you are talking advantage of a familiar setting and being manipulative to get what you want. This behavior is nothing new from you of course, as at home and school you portrayed the same pattern. As you are going to be pulled from this program soon we feel there is no reason for us to write you a true impact letter. Love Mom And Dad

Judith-with shock and disbelief says, "O.M.G. they are pulling you from the program."

Joan-"Wait, but it says you are going to another program-did you catch that?"

Judith-"Yeah, but the bottom line is Virginia is still leaving us."

Virginia-"True, but it could be weeks before they find another program."

Joan-"Do you know where they may send you?"

Virginia-"No clue but I'm sure it will be better than this dump.", faking a Shakespearean quote then adds, "Far Well my darlings for I shah go on to anther place." "Doth cry I know you will miss me more than then anything."

Judith-imitating a farewell as well says, "No, Darling, You mustn't leave me." "I will shrivel and rot in this prison with out you."

Joan-Laughing says at the fake good byes, skeptically says, "Wait a minute, who are those two guys talking to Christy and Cat right now?" "I have never seen them before."

Judith-ignoring the two men, instead turns to Virginia and says, "I knew something was off with ease of the punishment for us getting caught smoking cigs the other day, but I never thought they may send you to another program for it."

Joan-"Hey, Guys Cat, and those two guys are walking over here right now."

One guy who looked like he was almost seven feet tall and extremely skinny walks over with a buddy who is the complete opposite-a muscular large ex-football star both approach their table with Cat.

Cat-clear and professionally says, "Virginia, I'd like you to meet Scott, and James they will be your escorts to your next program."

Virginia-shocked says, "What the Fuck, I'm leaving RIGHT Now?"

Scott-(the tall guy) approaches and says, "Yes Virginia, tell your friends good bye and we have to catch a flight to Las Vegas."

Virginia-happily says, "Vegas-Kick Ass I'm going to Nevada" then turns to Joan and says, "Sorry I didn't get to know you more Joan, you seem pretty cool." Then gives Joan a quick hug, and a few head nods and one last smirked smile.

Virginia-then turns to Judith and says, "Fuck, Judith.. man I'm going to miss you." "We had some good times in the last few years-promise me you will give the counselors hell for me while I'm gone."

Judith-scrunched her eyes and breathed in a deep breath of air before saying, "We will have to see each other again-call me once you get home this fall." "We can exchange crazy people stories."

James-(the ex-football star guy) says, "Hurry Up Virginia, we don't have all day."

Virginia-looks at James and says, "I'll say good bye as long as I want ass hole, give me a second."

Virginia-"Hey, Judith, I'll rip of my moms credit card when we get home, we can take off on a Caribbean cruise or something." "You down."

Judith-Laughing-"Hell Yeah I'm Down."

Virginia-then reaches forward and gives Judith a hug and says, "Pick a place Judith because next time I see you better not be here again."

Judith-on the verges of crying says, "Ok, just don't become a stripper in Vegas now."

Virginia-"Ha Ha, but why not that sounds fun." "Maybe I can be like Julia Roberts and have some millionaire pick me up and change my life for good." "Now that is some therapy that could help me."

Scott-"Virginia come on now we need to catch a flight today."

Virginia-after hugging Judith one last time says, "Ok I'm ready to leave now I guess."

James-"Good lets go."

As James, Scott, and Virginia walk out of the cafeteria everyone's eyes are on them. As they are about to leave for good Virginia gets one last idea and turns around.

Virginia-smirking slightly says "Hey Joan, It has been Real!", "Bye everyone-Enjoy your summer in hell now."

The whole cafeteria just stared at shock as Virginia left for good. Christy watching the good byes then feels it is appropriate to say something and walks over to Joan and Judith's table to see their to gloom faces sitting there.

Christy-feeling out the tension at the table says cautiously, "Well before you get any crazy ideas I'd like to let you know where Virginia is going." "Yes, Virginia is going to Las Vegas, however she is then going by van to southwest Utah for a wilderness therapy program."

Judith-"Huffs loudly", but looks Christy in the eyes and waits for her to continue.

Christy-"The program Virginia is going to is supposed to be really hard core." "The clients live in the desert, hike all day, and I believe make primitive fires and traps or something." "I know you may not want to hear this but trust me you two don't really have it that bad here at Gentle Acres."

Joan-"If this is suppose to make me happier you are failing big time.", and then puts her head in her hands and starts crying.

Christy-trying to rephrase her words slightly says, "I can understand if you are going to miss Virginia, and if you want to talk about it or anything I just wanted you to know I'll listen and try to answer some of your questions if possible."

Judith-pissed says, "Fine then answers this- WHY?" "What was the tipping point for Virginia getting sent to Mormon Land?"

Christy-taken aback says, "Judith-I think you already know the answer to that question as well as me." "And I know you don't want me to repeat some speech on actions and choices and past behaviors so I won't."

Judith-pissed says-"Fine, then you are no help, so just leave us the Fuck alone."

Joan-between sobs says, "I'm really going to miss her."

Christy-shrugs her shoulders and says, "Ok, well I just thought I would offer you know where I'm sitting, see you guys in a few minutes, I'll let you finish eating."

With Judith being ferreted with Virginia's sudden departure and Joan imitating an ostrich crying in her hands it wasn't surprising that neither of them spoke a word for the rest of breakfast.

Amy-"Ok Luna, please line up over here for the next activity."

The group lines up and goes off toward the big open filed. Once there the group sees a lot of random junk lying on the ground. The group looks confused at each other and the pile of ropes, tarps, coffee cans, and tennis balls.

Amy-sweetly says, "Ok Welcome to team initiatives, because we have been noticing some tension going on in the group lately, me and Christy thought it would be fun to do some team building drills this morning in hopes to make our group more coherent."

Christy-"So for the first activity I want everyone to stand on this blue tarp."

Christy waits as the group complains and moans and eventually stands on the tarp.

Brie-"Oh I love these initiates we used to do stuff like this at Cheer leading camp."

Annette-annoyed says "I'm so happy this reminds you of cheer leading camp."

Judith-"Will you too both shut-up so we can all pretend we are Aladdin already and get this over with."

Christy-"Oh and Judith I forgot since you know the answer to this one, you now have to be blind folded and can't speak."

Judith-while a blind fold is put over her eyes says, "Oh Goody, and I thought for just a second me knowing the answer would allow me to not participate for once."

Christy-"Judith you have a disease remember you can't speak." "Alright, now everyone you are on a magic carpet at the moment one hundred feet in the air."

Brie-in the most beautiful voice starts singing, "I can show you the World."

Vickie-"Nice voice Brie but come on I agree with Judith if she was still able to speak lets get this Aladdin shit over with."

Christy-continues by saying, "like I was saying you are 100 feet in the air, however there is a problem." "The problem is the carpet is upside down and needs to be reversed without anyone falling off."

The group tries one technique after another of folding the tarp and jumping but seems to be getting more and more frustrated with each other instead of figuring out the task. Eventually, Judith not being able to see accidentally jumps on Annette's hands as she is not being able to see.

Annette-pissed and yells, "OWWHH, Fuck, Judith you bitch you stepped on my hand."

Judith-rips off her blind fold and says, "What did you just say."

Annette-loud and clear says, "You just stepped on my hand..BITCH."

Judith-getting more and more frustrated says, "You calling me a Bitch?"

Annette-cockily says, "Yes! You are one and everyone knows it."

Joan-seeing where this could go jumps in between the two and says, "Hey, I'm sure Judith is sorry for stepping on your hand Annette, but really cut out the name calling already."

Annette-smirking now says, "Whatever, I'll leave your girlfriend alone."

Judith pissed now goes and pushes Annette on the ground harshly. Annette not in the mood to take it gets up and runs at Judith and starts punching here in the stomach. Joan, trying to separate the two gets a bloody lip from Annette, and then also loses it and grabs Annette on the shoulders and pushes her back down. Christy and Amy now get in the pill of girls to separate them and eventually succeed as the rest of the group started by Vickie starts yelling "Yeah, Fight"

Christy-after separating the group says, "Annette, that was uncalled for, and Judith Really!"

Judith-huffing and puffing says, "I'm sick of this shit-Don't even try to blame this all on me."

Christy-mad says, "Good Because I am also sick of this shit too, and well I don't have the patients at the moment to sort this all out so I'm taking you both to talk to your therapists instead."

Judith-"Typical, Whatever."

Vickie-"Hey Annette, I could be wrong but I'm pretty certain Joan and Judith are both strait so that seemed a little out of line."

Joan-pulls out her schedule to check it and then says, "Christy…I have therapy too soon should I just come with you now?"

Amy-Seeing Christy getting pissed steps forward and says, "Christy I can take all three to see their therapists right now it is no big deal." "It sounds like a great idea concerning this situation and I can be back in a few minutes."

Christy then steps to the side and gets on her radio to tell the therapists what happened and who will be arriving to talk to them soon.

Christy now relaxed slightly says, "Alright, it is all set enjoy talking to your therapists I'll see you three again this afternoon."

Amy, Judith, Joan, and Annette then walk off toward the therapists offices. No one said a word the whole time and soon they were outside the offices. Amy first dropped off Annette with a lady with a very colorful fun looking office. Then arrived at an office door saying Dr. Mike Clinical Director. Joan looked inside to see a man in his later 30's with glasses, brown hair, and a button down white shirt on.

Dr. Mike-"Ahhh Judith come on in and take a seat." And then looks at Joan and adds, "Hello, I'm Dr. Mike you are Joan Correct?"

Joan-shocked at being addressed by her name says, "Ahhh…Yeah, I mean Yes I'm Joan."

Dr. Mike-smiling then says, "Well pleasure to meet you officially Joan." And gives Joan a quick look up and down and then grabs an ice pack from the closet for Joan's bleeding lip and say, "I'm not sure if you know this, but I'm the Clinical Director here, and familiar with all clients to an extent, that's how I knew your name if you are curious." "Well Joan it would be only correct for me to go to talk to Judith now, but I hope you have a great day."

Amy-"Ok Joan, Dr. Dan's office is right there and he is waiting inside, I'll see you later."

Dr. Dan-"Morning Joan, sorry to see you got in a fight but please come sit down." "However, I'm actually glad you're a little early today as it seems you have had a lot happen to you since you got here, and I think you may want to talk about it."

Joan-sits down and immediately says,"I wasn't involved in a fight, I was trying to prevent it."

Dr, Dan-"I believe you I already heard the story from Christy, Don't worry you are not in any trouble." "However, why did you feel the need to jump in and stop it?"

Joan-taken aback says "I thought you said I wasn't in trouble for it?"

Dr. Dan-"You aren't but I still want you to tell me why you decided to defend your friend Judith."

Joan-"Well I hate when people fight, and I could see it in Judith and Annette's eyes they both were about to attack each other." "I honestly just didn't want them to fight and tried to step between them to prevent it."

Dr. Dan-"Fair Enough, but it seems you have also tried to stop fights before at home." "Like a Steve Ramsey and Adam Rove fight." "Some popular kids against your brother" "I want to know if there is any connection between these incidents."

Joan-"I guess-you could say I don't want anyone to fight." "And I particularly don't want my friends or family getting hurt."

Dr. Dan-"Yes Joan, that is very noble and good, but I have a theory which maybe will make sense a little later in this session that you may agree with me or not on."

Dr. Dan-"So Joan explain to me what has been on your mind most lately?"

Joan-"Honestly what is on my mind most is how much I hate it here."

Dr. Dan-"That seems pretty normal-I have heard almost every client here express that feeling at on point in their stay or another." "Is there any particular reason you hate it here so much."

Joan-"I feel I don't belong here, and I could be cured better at home."

Dr. Dan-"Why do you feel you don't belong here?"

Joan-"Well for starters I'm not crazy."

Dr. Dan-"Nobody, is saying you are crazy Joan your hallucinations are just impaired perceptions, which according to you last time you said the medicine was helping to solve." "Yet, I heard last night you had a nightmare so please tell me about your dream."

Joan thinking of last nights dream, and seeing God 2 times since her last visit with Dr. Dan clutches her journal tightly remember oh yeah. As Joan starts to think about these encounters she can't help but start to cry and think I'll never get to go home at this rate.

Dr. Dan-noticing the sudden change in emotions and behavior in Joan says, "Joan if you are seeing things again-I need to know" "Are you seeing hallucination or having crazy abnormal nightmares again?"

Joan-while still crying hands Dr. Dan her journal with both a blurb on her seeing God in the Field, and also in her dream last night.

Dr. Dan-reads the first one about God in the field then asks, "Joan it is alright, we will adjust your meds tonight" then waits a bit and adds, "Yet, I think something else is bothering you too," "What is making cry right now?"

Joan-crying says, "I already told you I miss my family" "I hate it here…" "I just can't take it my one friend Virginia just got pulled and my other friend Judith keeps getting in trouble. I feel alone and hate it."

Dr. Dan-"It is normal to miss your family Joan" "Are any of these feelings directed from getting your impact letter last night?"

Joan-"Kind of, but I feel I would miss my family regardless, I love them, and feel lonely and deserted here." "It sucks soooo bad I just want to go home."

Dr. Dan-"Joan you are seeing things which are not there, you need to work through this and I'm sorry but you won't be able to go home until you are well" "However, when you leave my office I will give you a huge stack of letter paper and you can write letters home which may make you feel slightly better."

Joan-"Yeah I would like to write home, that may help." "Can I also write to my friends too?"

Dr. Dan-"Joan we only allow letters to go to and from your home address."

Dr. Dan-"Joan I'll give you letter paper later but for now I want to hear your views on your friends Judith and Virginia." "If they haven't told you I will say I have had the privilege of working with both of them their first summer here." "So I'm curious to know what attracted you to be their friends in the first place."

Joan-"They seemed normal at first, and well I enjoyed their personalities…they are almost always fun to be around."

Dr. Dan-"You said at first, does this mean you feel differently about them now?"

Joan-"I don't know exactly-Judith's Impact letter last night had a lot stuff in it I couldn't see her doing." "And well I haven't got to talk to her about any of it, but I don't know—I'm still confused I guess about it all."

Dr. Dan-"Confused about what?"

Joan-"Well it really hurt me to learn she drove drunk and reckless for starters." "Yet, also I'm unsure how much she cares about any of her actions." "Sometimes she seems to care, and other times she is willing to beat someone up for saying the wrong thing."

Dr. Dan-"Could this be because of your brother Kevin's accident at all?"

Joan-"Yeah….But…But, how could Judith do that?"

Dr. Dan-"Joan you will have to ask Judith that sometime, as I can't answer for her." "When I treated Judith two summers ago I never could get any real answers out of her maybe you will have better luck, but if you don't Joan you can't let it get to you like it is right now." "However I do have a question for you Joan-"I feel you may have chosen Judith and Virginia as friends because you like to associate with peers with the most power, or ones who either make their own rules, or don't care to follow anyone else's authority" "Can you maybe see where I'm coming from here Joan?"

Joan-"You think I choose Judith and Virginia to be my friends so I could be associated with peers who appear to have power-No that don't make sense at all."

Dr. Dan-"Ok but keep considering it a possibility, and then think about your relationship with God. Or how about your friend Grace at home, or why your dad Will is your favorite person in the whole world."

Joan-mumbles out "Because they all have power and control over others." "hmmm maybe but my boyfriend Adam doesn't tend to have these characteristic traits so I think you are still wrong."

Dr. Dan-"True but you tend to draw off these other people in your life or even make up a God to believe in-Just to let you feel powerful or in control." "So maybe you and Adam work as a couple because you know he is the opposite and you have equal control over each other, which makes him no threat to you, and leaves you feeling safe."

Joan-"Hmmm I love Adam, because of all kind of reasons and I wouldn't every try to control him." "That would make me feel shallow and manipulative-I don't feel I could love him if I tricked him into being in a relationship with me that's just wrong."

Dr. Dan-seeing he was hitting a nerve with Joan decides to change topics for now and says, "Ok Joan, I have another question then for you" "Your dream last night, did you think it was real? A message from God of some sort? Or latterly just a bad dream?"

Joan-"I know it was a dream, but it seemed to have a message in it too."

Dr. Dan-""Joan Dreams are just that dreams" "However enlightens me what message did you take from this dream?"

Joan-"God puts people in my life, and if I don't help them bad things can happen."

Dr. Dan-"See their you go again Joan, you want to feel needed, and chosen by God to help."

Joan-"What is wrong with helping people, everyone should help others."

Dr. Dan-"Yes Joan, helping others is good, but doing so because God has choosen you to do it is crazy."

Joan-"Why is it crazy?" "I already told you I know it was a dream and not real." "Yet, why is it impossible to believe God couldn't give me missions in my dreams." "I mean what about God talking to people on the TV, Radio, or Internet oh or calling you on the Phone."

Dr. Dan-"Joan be serious now God doesn't call people on the phone." "Has he ever called you on the phone Joan?"

Joan-biting her lip just stares at the floor lost in past thoughts of her communicating with God.

Dr. Dan-"Joan, let me ask you again has God ever communicated with you in any of the ways you just mentioned?"

Joan-"Ahhh noo, nooo that would be crazy you are right Dr. Dan"

Dr. Dan-missing the double negative relieved says, "Good Joan I feel we are making some excellent progress, yet I think now is a good place to end if you don't mind Joan."

Joan-"No I think I'm good for now" Joan takes some letter paper from Dr. Dan and leaves his office.


	8. Chapter 8

Joan walks into the cafeteria after talking to Dr. Dan, and happily picks up a bowl of tomato soup and two grilled cheese sandwiches and walks over to her normal table, and sits down next to Judith.

Judith-who had puffy eyes like she was crying earlier says, "It is so weird to think Virginia is gone."

Joan-suddenly remembering this morning says, "Yeah it is kind of weird-like our table is missing a vital person."

Judith-letting out a breath of air says, "Yeah, but I guess life goes on huh?"

Joan-nodding her head in agreement says, "Yeah- I guess"

Joan-trying to change the subject asks, "So how is Dr. Mike going in therapy?"

Judith-sounding indifferent says, "Therapy was well Therapy" "I Got yelled at for 2 hours about my past" "Then I was told fighting with Annette was a sure way to end up at a therapeutic boarding school after this summer." "Basically, therapy sucked in every shape and form." "And well Dr. Mike is pretty much a younger form of Dr. Dan" "All therapists seem the same after a while." "So has Dr. Dan completely ticked you off today?"

Joan-laughing says, "Not completely" "Dr. Dan feels I like to try to prevent fights to feel powerful." "Also, he said seeing Hallucinations makes me feel in control of my life or something like that."

Judith-laughing, "Well Miss Powerful I see your lip stopped bleeding did you control that too?"

Joan-shaking her head, "Actually Dr. Mike gave me an ice pack" And I didn't really buy Dr. Dan's explanation either, if I was truly powerful I would have stopped you before the fight started."

Judith-pretending to mimic therapists says, "Oh No Joan, if you did that you wouldn't feel in control of the situation." "If anything you wanted to see us fight-because you trying to break it up would make you look good, and represent a behaved normal person in comparison"…. "Seriously Joan, you couldn't have stopped that fight even if you wanted too today."

Joan-shrugging her shoulders says, "True, but you could have."

Judith-pretending to point out the obvious says, "If your memory fails you Joan, let me remind you that Annette called me a Bitch, and you my Girl Friend before I went and pushed her over." "Overall not entirely my fault a fight started today."

Joan-rolling her eyes says, "Point taken, but still you didn't have to make it a fight fight."

Judith-getting annoyed but not wanting to alienate Joan says, "Joan, I just got chewed out for 2 hours by Dr. Mike can we please try to talk about something else." "Anything Else"

Joan-"Sure, whatever, what do you want to talk about then?"

Judith-laughing says, "Incompetent Counselors" "Incompetent therapists is getting old"

Joan-confused says, "What do you mean?" "They seem kind of cruel at times but I think they are trying?"

Judith-dipping her grilled cheese in her soup and says, "Joan, I looked it up this spring as a fight against my mom sending me here, according to the website to become a counselor at this camp you only need to be 21, and have experience working with children." "That's it, they go to a one week staff training and all of a sudden they are in charge of us all summer."

Joan-shocked says, "Really?"

Judith-"Oh and they need a few letters of recommendation-big whoop." "I hate counselors here; most of them don't know crap about real life." "It is like they were raised in a bubble, and then get a job here and think every client here is a fuck up they are suppose to try and fix."

Joan-digesting this info asks, "Ok but what about the therapists?" "What are there qualifications?"

Judith-annoyed with the question answers, "Well according to my mother, she likes the Gentle Acres program best because the therapists are actually Ph.D. Psychologists like herself and my dad." "My mom also said she didn't care if the counselors who we spend almost all day with are not super qualified- she says she still feels I am safer here than if I was at home." "She feels me being stuck in the woods is way better than me rooming the streets of Maryland with my friends."

Joan-thinking back to Judith's impact letter says, "Do you think you are safer?-I think your mom might have a case there?"

Judith-harshly adds, "Ok probable I am safer" "Yet, that don't change the fact I have to listen to some stupid 25 year old girl like Christy all summer." "Christy has been here for my last 2 summers-really I wish she would get another job already."

Joan-after pondering this says, "Well maybe Christy likes her job here?"

Judith-rolls her eyes says, "I don't know how anyone could ever want to work here?" "The whole place is whack"

Joan-nods her head up and down a few times in agreement then says, "I agree, I don't know how anyone would want to work here, or come here willingly-I hate this place so bad."

Joan-after a few minutes asks, "That place Virginia got sent to-do you think it was any better then here?"

Judith-shakes her head and says, "No, the places out west are even more whack." "The clients only see therapists once a week, and the therapists are only masters' graduates" "Also, have you ever seen or heard of the TV show Brat Camp?"

Joan-"Brat Camp?"

Judith-continuing not surprised Joan hasn't heard of the show says, "Brat Camp was a reality TV show filmed at different programs, many of the seasons take place out west and sound similar to or exactly like the place Virginia went too." "The show was mainly only showed in England, but it was very popular there."

Joan-skeptical says, "I have never heard of this show."

Judith-"I heard my parents talk about the show one time after I got in trouble, and threatened to send me there instead of school this winter" "I wasn't sure if they were joking or not so I youtubed a few episodes and realized the show was real and so were the programs."

Judith-Laughing now adds, "I actually went to school every day for the next month after learning that, and pulled up most of my grades enough to make the honor roll for a quarter."

Joan-Laughing says, "Well it sounds like your moms threat kind of worked."

Judith-laughing at the realization says, "Yeah I guess it did."

Joan-looking at her clock says, "Lunch is almost over I need to finish this food"

Joan and Judith Gulp down the rest of their lunch and soon Amy stands up to announce it is time for Luna to line up. The group does so and then goes outside to sit in the big field like usually. Joan watches as Vickie, and Brie leave for what she guesses is their therapy sessions and claims her seat like usually under the big maple tree she loves so very much. Judith takes a seat next to another tree and pulls out her journal to start writing something.

Amy-Announces to the group, "I have letter paper here if anyone wants to write home."

Joan-remembering Dr. Dan gave her some letter paper already pulls it out of her journal and decides to write some letters home.

Joan writes—

Dear Mom and Dad,

I hate it here. I'm trying to be open to the experience, but really it is very hard to be. However, I have made a friend with my room mate Judith. Yet, Judith has a long list of reasons why she is here, and I don't approve of any of them. So I'm kind of skeptical about trusting her fully, but in reality she is the nicest person I have meet here, and makes me feel less lonely which is extremely helpful.

I really miss home so much. Being here is making me appreciate the things you two have done for me in the past. Also, your impact letter made me see things from your side, and I may not like it but can kind of see why you may have sent me here. The letter defiantly made me think, which I guess was the point in the first place. Yet, all I can really think about is how much I love and miss the whole family. I wish I could be home right now sitting around the dinner table like usual and just talk to everyone instead of having to write a letter.

I know you may not want to hear this but I am scared. I was seeing things yesterday, and Dr. Dan plans to change my meds again tonight. I am constantly worrying that I won't be normal again and my hallucinations and nightmares will continue. Last night I had a horrible nightmare, and wished so hard I was home so you could make me feel better.

Knowing you can't make me feel better in person at the moment I really hope you write me back soon. My friend Judith said it would never happen, but I have to ask. Can you send me photos, Kevins newspaper clippings, jokes, or best yet FOOD. If so please do so, as it could possible make me soooo much happier even just for a short bit.

Love Joan

Joan-looked over her letter to her parents and thought it isn't perfect but I want to write to Luke and Kevin something too and I'm not sure how much time I have. So Joan started her next letter to Kevin.

Dear Kevin;

You were right mom and dad do like normal-I blew it. I hate it here at Gentle Acres a lot, and miss you so much. I wish I could see you Kevin, you were always great at cheering me up and saying the right thing. Last night I had a nightmare and although it wasn't Kolas in Hats my first instinct was to come sleep with you. It sucked when I realized that wasn't an option. Hope all is going well in Arcadia at the moment. Please Write Back-Love Joan

Joan-reflexes back to months ago when she asked Kevin if she was crazy. She remembered Kevin's answer like it was yesterday. "Joan-Mom and Dad like Normal" "They used to only be able to handle Luke in the freak for a kid department" "Now they have me" "Joan you are there last chance for normal" Joan thinks I am sooo not normal, and pulls out another piece of letter paper to write Luke a letter.

Dear Luke;

In my impact letter dad said you were really impressed on how we found him the night he was kin napped. Luke honestly what were the odds of that happening? Also, do you think it is possible I could have listened to a hallucination telling me to drive there, and that is how we found dad? I guess I'm curious Luke do you think there is any chance I'm currently sane? I hate it here at Gentle Acres I would even rather be in school then here it sucks that bad. Luke, I can't even write letters to my friends Grace and Adam because they don't live in our house which I think is ridiculous. So if you see Grace or Adam this summer tell them I miss them a lot, and wish I could write to them too.

Luke Please write back-I miss you- Love Joan

Joan-after finishing Luke's letter just sat against the tree and couldn't help but think about here past year. She thought about how Luke and she actually got closer. How, her boyfriend Adam and Grace came into her life. Joan, wondered if I was normal would this have happened this year?

Amy-Alright everyone I am collecting letters to mail out today, anyone who has some please turn them in now.

Joan-goes to hand in her letter along with every other group member when she notices Judith must not have written a letter as she was still laying in her normal spot starring at the Lake. Joan wonders if Judith was still too annoyed with her parents to write them a letter or just didn't want to.

Christy-"Once you turn in your letters please line up for art and crafts."

Everyone being back from therapy, lines up together and walks over to the arts and craft building. Once inside they are handed back their sculptures from last time which have now been fired in the Kiln. Everyone is also given glaze and paint to finish off their projects, and gets to work on them.

Joan-looking at her frog and picking up some green paint says, "Judith, did you write anyone a letter?"

Judith-rolls her eyes and says, "No" "Maybe I'm trying to take my mom's advice and think about something meaningful before I write her back."

Joan-bits her lip and says, "Oh, I was just curious."

Joan-then cautiously asks, "Do you have any idea what you will write to her when you decide too?"

Judith-tapping her paint brush on the counter says, "I have no clue what to say to my mother, and today I was too annoyed about everything to even try to write something meaning full."

Joan-realizing she was making Judith uncomfortable now changes the subject and asks, "So what color are hermaphrodites Sex Goddess anyways?"

Judith-shrugs her shoulders and says, "I guess whatever color I decide to make them" "Any suggestions?"

Joan-"I'm not really one for creativity, I mean I made a frog and am painting it Green" "Which is pretty original"

Judith-"Why not paint it Blue with Red Spots like the ones in the Amazon that make poison darts"

Joan-"Hmmm that might be cool, I think I will do that."

Judith eventually decides to make her sculptures many colors and Joan makes her frog based on Judith's suggestions. In the end the projects looked really cool, and both were happy with their work. Then everyone lined up and went to dinner.

For dinner everyone had Roast Beef and Mashed Potatoes and it was surprisingly really good thought Joan.

Judith-"Joan"

Joan-After swallowing a bit of Roast Beef says, "What?"

Judith-Tell me about your boyfriend Adam" "I'm curious what he is like."

Joan-spends all dinner talking about Adam and at the end of Dinner realizes Judith listened to every word without even interrupting. Joan also realized, how much she not only loved Adam, but missed not seeing him. Joan thinks wow it has been about a week since I last saw Adam.

After Dinner, Showers went by enjoyable, and soon before Joan knew it she was sitting in Group Therapy once again next to Judith, and the rest of her group.

Amy-"Alright tonight we are going to start off Circle with an Open round." "Who would like to start?"

Vickie-After no one else seemed to want to start says, "I just have one question actually-What happened to Judith and Joan's friend today? I'm not trying to make either of you mad by any means but, Virginia I think was her name right? Where did she go?"

Christy-"Virginia was sent to another program out in Utah." "As she has came to this camp for 2 summers now her parents wanted to try somewhere else." "I'm sorry to say but Virginia won't be coming back here." "Vickie did you have anything else you wanted to say? Or ask?"

Vickie-pondering says, "No I'm good for now." I'll pass to Judith.

Judith-looking at Joan, and then Annette politely says, "Annette, I'm sorry I stepped on your hand today, and then fought with you, it was uncalled for."

The group all in shock that Judith actually apologized looks at her confused.

Judith-"What, haven't you ever heard someone apologize before?" "Whatever, I pass."

Joan-slightly still in shock from Judith, says, "I think apologizing is good Judith", then adds "I guess I would like to say I hope Virginia is going to do well in Utah, I kind of realized it was weird without her around today but I wish her the best in life." "Pass"

Amy-"Today seemed to start off kind of chaotic, but things seemed to calm down in the last few hours." "All you ladies seem to be getting along better now as opposed to earlier, and I personally am happy to see this." "Pass"

Brie-"I was kind of disappointed we didn't get to do the team initiatives like we planned earlier." "I hope we can do some later, or at least go on the Challenge Rope Course thing, cause I find that kind of stuff fun." "Pass"

Annette-without much sincerity half heartedly says, "Judith…I apologize too for earlier." "It was wrong to call you a Bitch, and to call Joan your Girlfriend." "Yet, really you two do spend like all day together." "I guess what I'm saying is I accept your apology" "Pass"

Christy-looking Judith in the eyes says, "Judith, I'm happy to hear you apologize for earlier." "I too feel I would like to apologize for the way I have been acting today." "I was kind of stressed out and took it out on some of you earlier, I'm sorry for that." "In the future I will try my hardest to be more patient, understanding, and fair when dealing with all of you." "Ok Circle"

Christy-"Next Round will be the question what do you tend to do when you are scared in life?" "Pass to Annette."

Annette- "I try to avoid things" "Many times I isolate myself in my room or better yet I go to sleep" sarcastically then says, "I feel kind of scared right now…anybody mind if I take a quick nap?" "Pass"

Brie-"I usually just do what others ask me to do when I'm scared." "My brain kind of just stops working, and I can't think strait." "It is like I'm frozen in place and can't move" "Pass"

Amy-"I tend to first get anxious, and then I sit down and try to think things through logically" "Pass"

Joan-"I too tend to get anxious, my body starts to shake, sometimes I cry, yet I also tend to push through and accomplish stuff bigger than myself or what I envisioned as a result." "It is like I hate being scared when I am scared, but many times it turns out ok in the end." "And most times I conquer my fears in the process." "Pass"

Judith-sarcastically says, "I use sarcasm sometimes" "I also try to make things a joke so I won't have to think about the situation completly." "Pass"

Christy-"Great round everyone" "Next round is what do your parents do when they get scared in life?" "Reverse it back to Judith"

Judith-annoyed says, "My mom and dad both avoid things they fear." "They may be psychologists but they both tend to push problems aside and avoid them as long as possible." "They like to be in denial of their problems until there problems are so big they are forced to act on them." "Pass"

Joan-"My dad is a cop, and is good at dealing with fear." "Yet, he likes to deal with things by him self in his own way without help from others." "My mom will cry, and then berry her feelings, and sometimes they will just explode out of her unexpectedly. Other times my mom will paint a picture as a form of release." "Pass"

Amy-"I'm more interested to hear about your all parents so Pass"

Brie-"My parents are both pretty wealthy and so will go out and buy something expenses they don't need." "It kind of doesn't make sense to me how buying something helps them deal with Fear but that's what they do." "Pass"

Annette-"My parents put on this big bright smile, and pretend to be upbeat and optimistic." "It is actually really annoying and completely fake" "Pass"

Christy-"Alright good, I like to hear you all have a pretty solid idea of what you and your parents do when they are scared in life." "Try to keep in mind what people do when they are scared it may help you in the future deal with people more empathetically." "I think now would be a great time to do another meditation and go to bed." "So everyone please clear the floor like last time and lay down."

Mediation was very relaxing, and afterwards everyone took their medications and went to their beds.

Joan-"I'm so relaxed and tired from mediation" "Good Night Judith" "It is nice to have you back in my bedroom again."

Judith-"What you talking about Joan, it was last night you didn't sleep here remember?"

Joan-"Oh yeah" "Whatever Good Night" "Good Night Darlene"

Darlene-mubbles-"Night"

And Judith, Darlene, and Joan go to bed as soon as the lights are out.

Joan Dreaming-Helen and Will are talking to Dr. Dan inside a tiny plan office inside the Arcadia Hospital. Outside sitting in a chair Joan sees herself sitting in a white strait jacket listening to her parent's conversation with Dr. Dan. Suddenly, Luke and Kevin walk up the hall and see Joan sitting in her chair. Neither of them speaks to Joan and deliberately avoids all contact with her as they enter the office with their parents. Kevin now takes a seat by Will and says "I always knew that Joan was crazy" and Luke says "I concur and have calculated the odds of Joan getting better to be 1,257,932 to 1." Dr. Dan says, "Great so we all agree to give up on Joan and lock her away in the mental institute for life." Every one of her family members says "Yes" and Joan in the hall way in her strait jacket yells "NOOOOO!!!!" then Joan screams even louder when she see both an Old Lady God, and Dr. God smile and grab Joan under the arms and start dragging her away to a padded cell.

Joan-wakes suddenly and is shaking like crazy, and starts to cry.

Judith-feeling her bed shake from Joan waking up bends her head over the side of the bed to see Joan laying in the fetal position facing the wall. Judith feeling sorry for Joan looking so helpless and scared decides to lower herself quietly from her own bed and positions herself sitting next to Joan.

Joan-between sobbing squeaks out a quiet, "Judith?"

Judith-starts to rub Joan's back and says whisperingly, "Joan it is ok" "You are alright" "Really you are ok now Joan."

Joan-sobbing says, "No I'm not" "I'm crazy….and my family is deserting me"

Judith-reassuringly and still stroking Joan's back says, "Joan you must have had a nightmare" "No one is deserting you, your family still loves you…I'm sure, and well I am here now".. "Joan you are going to be alright just try to relax"

Joan-incoherently between sobs chokes out "I can't relax" "I just want to go home" "My family thinks I'm crazy, and I think they are right for wanting to lock me up in a mental institute like my nightmare"

Judith-trying to reason with Joan says, "Joan you are the most normal girl here at Gentle Acres I promise you that you are not crazy enough to be locked away."

Joan-still crying says, "I keep having nightmares, and seeing stuff though" "Even with the medicine I'm on nothing has really changed" "I'm still seeing stuff and therefore I'm crazy"

Judith-"Joan, Listen to me, you are not crazy" "Even if you see stuff, Even if you have a nightmare every night the rest of your life, I believe full heartedly you are not crazy."

Joan-"If I am not crazy, then I should be able to go home to my family" "I hate it here, and miss my family" "I can't take it"

Judith-"Joan you are just scared it is ok" "If you want to know the truth I'm scared too" "Everyone is scared while they are here" "Virginia was scared her first summer here" "I'm certain Brie is scared right now, and Annette and Vickie probable are too."

Joan-chocking out between more sobs says, "I wish I was you Judith, you never seem scared while here."

Judith-now playing with Joan's long brown hair says shocked, "Joan, I Promise- you wouldn't want to be me" "Joan, if anything I would trade lives with you instantly."

Joan-sobbing "If you had to see crazy stuff and people who weren't there I'm sure you wouldn't want to be me." "Nobody would want to be me-It stinks being me."

Judith-now starting to cry too says, "Joan, you seeing stuff will eventually stop, and when you go home, you have a loving family, and 2 great friends who will be there waiting for you." "If I get to go home and not get shipped to some therapeutic boarding school, my life will still suck when I leave, my parents will both still hate me, my few friends who might be around don't care about me at all, and I have a legal record that will follow me no matter where I go."

Joan-starting to stop crying slightly says, "But, Judith you could change any and all parts of your life-if you wanted too, Me though no matter what I do I will always have lime disease the rest of my life even if it is dormant"

Judith-thinking about what Joan says, "Joan do you honestly believe that?"

Joan-with a small real smile on her face, and tears coming down still- Joan sits up and turns around and looks Judith in the eyes and says, "Judith, of course I believe you can change your life-Why Not?"

Judith-doubtful says, "Joan, I don't know." "Were you listening to my mom's letter the other night, I'm a fuck up."

Joan-"I thought you said your mom doesn't know you well enough to make opinions like that about you?" "And really what don't you know?" "What to do?" "How to act?" "What don't you know Judith?"

Judith-halfheartedly decides to agree with Joan and says, "Maybe you are right."

Joan-more confidently says, "Seriously Judith I don't care what your mom said I have faith in you." "You may have made mistakes in your past, yet who hasn't?" "Come on Judith, why give up on the future already you can still make choices that could lead to good ripples"

Judith-confused says, "Ripples?"

Joan-laughing slightly and wiping a way the last few tears on her face says, "You know good side effects, happy results, good things happening…that sort of thing" "Hmm me and Adam call them Ripples"

Judith-shaking her head slightly but looking at Joan says, "Ok, I'll try to behave tomorrow and in the future what could it hurt? Maybe I can make some good ripples."

Joan-now done crying says, "Judith, I'm going to hold you to that" "Oh and thanks for making me feel better, if it wasn't for you being at this camp I don't know what I would do?"

Judith-taken back by Joan's words after a few seconds adds, "Support!" and gives Joan a big hug and says, "Alright, no more nightmares-you shake the whole bed when you start crying."

Judith then smiled at Joan one last time for the night and jumped up into her bed. For about a half hour Judith lay with her head in her pillow and just thought-Wow Joan actually believes I can change. Judith was also realizing Joan was pretty awesome, more awesome then anyone she has ever met before and was really glad to be her friend for the summer.


	9. Chapter 9

Joan-wakes up and moans and says, "I soooo don't want to wake up." "How is it morning already?"

Judith-looking over the side of the bed adds, "I don't know." "Yet, I wish it wasn't."

Judith-taking a closer look at the bedroom floor says, "Joan, guess what."

Joan-starting to sit up in bed, "What?"

Judith-"I think the cat cleaned up her hair balls-Cause I don't see any."

Joan-laughing adds, "HA HA your right" dumbfounded adds, "I'm amazed at how quick Darlene gets up in the morning now that is a sure sign of crazy ness in a kid."

Judith-"Well it looks like you slept the rest of the night-nightmare free" "So what does that make you?" "You still think you are crazy?"

Joan-play punches Judith in the arm and says, "Well yah, but not as crazy as you…." And runs out the door as Judith hops out of bed chasing Joan.

Judith-laughing says, "You are sooo getting it for that."

Outside Judith catches up with Joan and then just looks at Joan and laughs. Joan sticks out her tongue at Judith as they gather round the flag pole for morning flags. The cannon still goes off each morning but no one even seems to notice it anymore.

At breakfast Joan and Judith grab some cereal and sit down to talk like normal.

Joan-questioningly, "So last night, did you mean it when you said you would try to change?"

Judith-shrugging her shoulders, "I don't know, I guess somewhat"

Joan-"Well, I was thinking, I bet if you don't get in trouble at all this summer your mother won't send you to boarding school this fall."

Judith-scrunching her face, "Maybe" "Yet, Dr. Mike, Dr. Dan, and my mom all are on the same page at the moment with me going to a boarding school." "They are looking into different programs probable as we speak-The only thing this summer will determine is if it is therapeutic or not" "Either way it sucks, but they all believe if I go back to the same home environment after camp that I will fall into the same bad behavior." "They actually where considering sending me to another program after getting caught smoking." "However, I'm glad they didn't."

Joan-jokingly says, "You should move to Arcadia and come to my school." "Tell your mom I'd keep an eye on you."

Judith-shaking her heads says, "Yeah Joan, I'll just tell my mom, I meet the best person ever at crazy camp, and she wants me to go live with her" "Don't worry she isn't a bad influence at all she just sees things and has nightmares but is totally normal."

Joan-"Hey, you told me last night I was normal."

Judith-"Well I know that, but there is no way my mom would believe it for a second." "The only other friend I met at crazy camp has been Virginia, and well my mom hated her."

Joan-"I can totally see your mom hating Virginia, I'm sure my parents wouldn't care for her much either." "Yet, it would be cool if you came to my school, I'm sure my friends would love you and we could hang out all the time."

Judith-"It would be cool." "But honestly it won't happen."

Joan- disappointingly says, "Yeah-true never happen" "Too bad"

Christy-"Luna Girls, Please remember to go grab a sack lunch from the cafeteria before lining up."

Joan-"Sack Lunch?"

Judith-jokingly says, "Do you ever read your schedule anymore Joan?"

Joan-"No there really is no point."

Judith-"True, but it would clue you in on things like today we are going on an all day hike, and need to bring a lunch."

Joan-"We are going hiking today?"

Judith-"See reading your schedule now and then could have a point." "and Yeap we are going hiking" "Lets go get some lunches and line up"

All of Luna lines up together and are carrying a sack lunch. Once outside, Christy takes everyone lunches, and journals, and puts them in a giant bag, and puts then puts the bag in a hiking backpack. Christy then puts the hiking backpack on her back and looks at the group to see if they are ready to go.

Amy-"Everyone has their Water bottle, Correct?"

Everyone-mumbles yeah, or nods their head to symbolize yes.

Amy-"Great, because we are going to go hiking all day, and won't be back till dinner."

Christy-"Ok I need you all to line up single file and stay that way for the hike." "The Forest Service wants us to follow "Leave no Trace" to keep erosion of the paths down." "So, walk in the middle of the path, and lets try not kill nature by grabbing leafs off trees and such."

The group lines up with Christy in the front with Vickie and Brie, next is Joan and Judith, and last is Annette and Amy. The group starts off on a nice flat path but soon is starting to incline up a mountain and going around switchbacks. Some of the group starts to get tired after about 45 minutes as the hike gets tougher with each step.

Joan-"Judith do you know where we are going and if we are almost there yet?"

Judith-exhausted says, "Yes, but you probable don't want to hear the fact that we are not even close to the end."

Joan-"Ahhhh I'm so not in shape for this" "Why can't mountains just be flat it would be sooo much easier."

Annette-"Hey, Judith how long about, were the hikes you did here in the past?"

Judith-trying to stay positive says, "Really, you don't want to know." "Try to zone out, or think about something else or basically think of anything besides hiking and you will be better off."

Annette-getting annoyed says, "Judith honestly give me a strait answer if you know one"

Judith-laughing says, "Now what was that sappy thing the counselors always say on hikes. Oh Yes go one step at a time and live in the present."

Annette-annoyed says, "Judith, if you say that again or anything similar to that again I Will kill you."

Judith-"Fine then I won't say anything."

Amy-happily says, "Annette, really Judith did give you the best advice right now." "Just try to enjoy the hike, look around at nature." "Think about your life it is actually quite relaxing to hike if you do this."

Annette-"GOD this is HELL" "Why the HELL are we doing this?"

Joan-"Support!" "Can we at least take a break or something I'm getting super tired."

Vickie-"Come on guys it isn't that bad" "I go camping and hiking with my family all the time-I find this stuff fun." "Think every step you take is one step closer to completion, and I bet the view from the top will be awesome once we get up there."

Brie-"Well I'm all for exercise and all but really, my muscles in my calf's are killing me." "I doubt I will make it to the top."

Vickie-"Brie think of it as conditioning for cheer leading or volleyball and you will do just fine."

Annette-yells, "Well I have no intention of ever joining a school sport so for me this is just stupid."

Christy-"Ok why don't we take a quick break here." "Drink some of your water you brought and take a seat for a bit."

Joan-after happily taking a seat like everyone else says, "Judith really how long is this hike?"

Judith-"I don't really remember Joan somewhere between 5 and 7 miles."

Annette-overhearing their conversation says, "Hell No" "I'm not hiking no 7 miles up a stupid mountain." "I'm totally just going to keep sitting here." "You guys can all go on without me-I'm done."

Vickie-"5 to 7 miles is that all" "You should go hiking with my hippie parents on the Appalachian Trail they sprint hikes that short."

Joan-confused asks, "What's the Appalachian Trail?"

Vickie-"Well it is sometimes called the A.T. but it is a 2,100ish mile trail between Maine and Georgia." "My parents have done the whole thing three times in their lives already." "In fact they actually meet during their first thru-hike in and around a town called Hot Springs in North Carolina." "They said they would get married if they could still stand each other once they made it to Maine." "And honestly Big surprise they feel in love with each other on the trail, and got married 3 months later once they completed the hike."

Joan-laughing says, "That is kind of cool." "Have you ever hiked the Appalachian Trail?"

Vickie-"Well not the whole thing." "I have hiked the first couple hundred miles with my parents last summer." "We stopped in Hot Springs actually so they could show me the town they meet in." "It was actually a pretty cool vacation." "It was this tiny town in the mountains, and we ate some food at a Saloon with a bunch of locals and then we went white water rafting on the French Broad River before going home."

Judith-"Wow, your parents are sooo Hippies."

Vickie-laughing says, "Well yeah, but they are pretty cool for the most part."

Annette-"I would kill my parents if they ever tried to take me hiking."

Vickie-"I used to think that way too, but now once I'm outside like today, it is hard not to just wish to take off and go explore the mountains." "Being in the woods lets you take a look at the simple things in life you often take for granted."

Joan-"Do you ever think you would hike the whole trail?"

Vickie-"Probable not, I would rather do bits and pieces here and there." "Some of the middle states like Pennsylvania I hear are kind of boring." "But I would really like to do the last part-It is called the hundred mile wilderness" "It is suppose to be one of the hardest parts of the trail." "I might also do the part between Smokey Mountain National Park and Hot Springs again because that was beautiful." "Oh and I would like to hike through Shenandoah National Park in Virginia."

Judith-laughing says, "So, what you only want to hike about 800 miles of this long ass trail, and not the whole 2200" shaking her head and laughing says, "No wonder your parents sent you here they can't relate to you at all." "Anything short of 7000 miles in a life is completely intolerable probable to your parents."

Vickie-"Well I never said Judith I would stop with my 800 mile-ish plan on the A.T." "After I finish the A.T. I want to go the Pacific Crest Trail out west and do that whole trail."

Annette-in complete disbelief says, "Vickie, you are completely nuts"

Joan-"Where is the Pacific Crest Trail? Is this a shorter trail?"

Vickie-realizing she must sound weird to her group members says, "Actually it is longer it goes from the Mexico Boarder to Washington." "I think I will go out west for a summer during college and do the trail."

Judith-"Yeap I agree with Annette, you are nuts"

Vickie-"Whatever, I don't care what you think" "I love hiking"

Christy-"Alright everyone I think we have had a long enough break for now, lets continue hiking."

The whole group stands up except Annette.

Christy-"Come on Annette, I would love to get to the top for lunch."

Annette-"I'm not going" "Seriously you can leave me here, there is no way in hell I care to hike 5 more miles up some dumb mountain."

Amy-"Well that is not an option Annette, you are going to come with us." "So the sooner you get up the sooner we will all get to the top and can eat lunch."

Annette-"Ahh Nooo!"

Joan-"Come on Annette, besides Vickie nobody really wants to hike right now."

Judith-looks at Annette and says point blank "Annette I tried refusing two summers ago, and the group sat for five hours and in the end once I decided to hike we still had to do the whole hike." "Please Annette, I would much rather not sit here all day long."

Joan-looking at Judith says, "Why did you refuse to hike?"

Judith-shrugging her shoulders said, "I thought I could get away with it, and I didn't want to hike."

Annette-"Well we can sit here all day and all night all I care, I'm not hiking." And laid her head down on a giant rock and crossed her arms over her chest.

Judith-getting annoyed but trying to stay calm says, "Annette, I'm serious you are not going to get what you want, and I promise you if we all have to sit out here all day and night because of you, you will have everyone hate you because of it."

Annette-shrugs, "Like I care." "You all hate me already, what difference will it make?"

Joan-"Nobody hates you Annette." "We barely even know you" "If you opened up more then we would talk to you more."

Vickie-"Annette, I don't hate you right now" "But if we have to sit here all day because you don't want to stand up and hike up this mountain…" "THEN I will hate you."

Brie-"I agree I so don't want to sit here all day" "Come on Annette."

Judith-"Annette the hike really isn't that bad." "We already are about half way there?"

"Please can we go?"

Annette-"I don't see the point."

Judith-"That is the point." "You never see the point; you are depressed and walk around mopping all day long."

Annette-laughing slightly "Oh and you are sooo much better then me Judith."

Judith-"I never claimed to be better than you." "Well right now I am better than you, because I'm not lying on some mountain complaining the world is unfair, holding up the whole group just because I can."

Annette-"Judith you are not fooling anyone, we all know you don't care about me, or anyone else except yourself." "So shut-up already and let me sit here."

Judith-"No, I'm not going to just sit here for hours waiting for YOU to care." "I want to get this hike over with—and right now I defiantly care more about You and other people on this hike more then myself-it is YOU that don't care about anyone but yourself sooo GET UP!."

Annette-rolls over on her giant rock and just say nothing.

The rest of the group now getting annoyed with Annette decides to sit down and just wait. Nobody says a word but just stares at each other waiting. After about 45 minutes of extremely silent anxious waiting by the group, Annette rolls back over and looks at the group. Annette notices the whole group is still staring at her, and thought maybe Judith was right she is just holding up the group, and well they could just sit here all day.

Annette-slowly stands up and brushes some dirt off herself and moans while saying, "FINE lets get this stupid hike over with, I'm ready, lets go."

The whole group gets up and starts hiking. Nobody says a word but keeps hiking higher and higher up the mountain. After what felt like hours to everyone they reached the top and all the trees were gone and they could see for miles in all directions.

Joan-"Wow, you can see everything from up here."

Judith-"Yeah, it is a pretty cool view isn't it."

Vickie-"I have seen better, but it was defiantly worth the hike."

Brie-"I can't believe we climbed up this whole mountain." "I can't even see the camp from here."

Joan-"Well I can see the lake so our camp most be down their next to it under all those trees."

Judith-"That makes sense" "I just love looking at all the tree tops, there are just so many"

Annette-"Oh My God" "I'm just so happy this hike is over." And plops down on the ground looking out at the view in front of her

Christy-"Yeah this is one of my favorite views in the whole area." "I love it up here" "Today, I want everyone to sit in a circle and we can eat lunch together as a group." "I also brought a story to share to you all, so while you quietly eat I'll read it to you."

Everyone sat in a circle, but kept looking over to see the view from all sides of the mountain. Christy took off her hiking backpack and gave everyone a lunch sack. Everyone pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a bag of chips, an apple, and a granola bar and started to eat happily.

Christy-pulls out a story and starts to read

The Perfect High (By Shef Silverstein)

There once was a boy named Gimme-Some-Roy…He was nothin' like me or you,

'cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.

As a kid, he sat in the celler…sniffing airplane glue. And then he smoked banana peels, when that was the thing to do. He Tried aspirin in Coco-Cola, he breathed helium on the sly, and his life became an endless search to find the perfect high.

But grass just made him wanna lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,

And the great things he wrote when he was stoned looked like shit in the moon light.

Speed made him wanna rap all day, reds laid him too far back, Cocaine-Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.

He tried PCP, he tried THC, but they never quite did the trick. Poppers nearly blew his heart, mushrooms made him sick. Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long. Hash was a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong. Quaaludes made him stumble, booze just made him cry, Then he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat…lived high up in Nepal, High on a crappy mountain top, up a sheer and icy wall. "Well, Hell" says Roy, "I'm a health boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly, Till I find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."

So out and off goes Gimme-Some-Roy, to the land that knows no time, Up a trail no man could conquer, to a cliff no man could climb. For fourteen years he climbed that cliff…back down again he'd slide… He'd sit and cry, then climb some more, pursing the perfect high.

Grinding his teeth, coughing blood, aching and shaking and weak, Starving and sore, bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak. And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,….As there in repose, and wearing no clothes, sits the god-like Baba Fats.

"What's happenin', Fats?" says Roy with Joy, I've come to state my biz…

I hear you're hip to the perfect trip…Please tell me what it is. "For you can see." Says Roy to he, "I'm about to die, So for my last ride, tell me, how can I achieve the perfect high?"

"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "Another burned out soul, Who's lookin' for an alchemist to turn his trip to gold. It isn't in a dealer's stash, or on a druggist's shelf…Son, if you would find the perfect high, find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive mother-fucker!" Says Roy, "I climbed through rain and sleet, I froze three fingers off my hands, and four toes off my feet, I braved the lair of the polar bear, I've tasted the maggot's kiss, Now, you tell me the high is in myself? What kinda shit is this?

My ears, before they froze off," Says Roy, "had heard all kindsa crap; But I didn't climb for fourteen years to hear your sophomore rap. And I didn't Climb up here to hear that the high is on the hatch, So you tell me where the real stuff is, or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Okay…okay," Says Baba Fats, "You're forcin' it out outta me…There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zabolee. A wretched land of stone and sand, where snakes and buzzards scream, And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzutzu tree.

Now, once every ten years it blooms one flower, as white as the Key West Sky.

And he who eats of the Tzutzu flower shall know the perfect high. For the rush comes on like a tidal wave…hits like the blazin' sun. And the high? It lasts forever, and the down don't never come.

But, Zabolee Land is ruled by a giant, who stands twelve cubits high. And with eyes of red in his hundred heads, he awaits the passer-by. And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the river of slime, Where the mucous beasts await to feast on those who journey by. And if you slay the giant and beasts, and swim the slimy sea. There's a blood-driving witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards the Tzutzu Tree."

"Well, to hell with your witches and giants," says Roy, "To hell with the beasts of the sea- …Why, as long as the Tzutzu flower still blooms, hope still blooms in me."

And with tears of joy in his sun-blind eyes, he slips the guru a five, And crawls back down the mountainside, pursing the perfect high.

"Well, that is that," Says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone. Facing another thousand years of talking to God, alone. "Yes, Lord, it's always the same…old men or bright-eyed youth…It's always easier to sell'em some shit than it is to tell them the truth."

Once Christy finished the story she sat down and said "Ok everyone I want you all to pull out your journals and explain what your perfect high is, and where you tend to find it in life, or where you have looked in the past." "Take the next 20 minutes and think about it and write something down but don't talk about your answers now, we will be sharing them at circle tonight."

The group all pull out there journal and writes down some stuff, and looks at the beautiful view. After everyone looked like they were done they enjoyed the view for another few minutes or so.

Amy-"Alright, well although I love the view up here, we need to head back down to camp." "So if we can all line back up single file we are going to walk down silently to give everyone some time just to think." "Going back down is way easier and we should be down in less than a half hour."

The group lined up and walked back down the mountain silently lost in their own thoughts. Once down the group was just in time for dinner and went to the cafeteria.

Joan-"Wow, I thought I would be tired from hiking all day, but really I feel like I have even more energy now than this morning." "How is that possible?"

Judith-"No clue, but at least we got some yummy looking chicken stir fry meal to eat."

Joan-grabbing a tray of food and now starting to walk to the table says, "For sure, I'm soo hungry right now-I soo can't wait to eat."

Judith-sitting down at the table, "Me too"

Joan-after gobbling down some food asks, "So I enjoyed the hike today." "It was a lot of fun to get out of camp somewhat."

Judith-"I wouldn't say it was really leaving camp per say, but it wasn't that bad of a day either." "I so wanted to kill Annette though for refusing and making us sit there."

Joan-"Yeah that was kind of annoying" "I was super happy when she finally got up though."

Judith-"It made me really realize how much I pissed my group off a few years ago when I refused to hike." Laughing slightly says, "No wonder they all hated me so much" "It totally makes so much sense now."

Joan-shaking her head says, "Well I'm glad you didn't refuse today, if both you and Annette decided to not hike I'm sure we would still be sitting there right now."

Judith-"Oh come on, I'm not that stubborn, we probable would be just making it to the top of the mountain though."

Joan-matter of factly, "Yeap, I would have killed you if you did that today." "No doubt in my mind-you would be rolling down the mountain in pieces by now."

Judith-with a scrunched up face and shaking her head says, "In pieces huh, How would you manage that?"

Joan-taken a back for a second then says confidently and sarcastically, "Ahhh with a really sharp rock"

Judith-rolling her eyes, "Ok, whatever you say Joan."

Dinner and Showers went by without much happening and soon everyone was in circle.

Christy-"Wow today has been a really good day" "We all had a nice hike, and saw some beautiful views." "Overall, great day" "So tonight we will share what we wrote on top of the mountain." "Anyone want to start?"

Vickie-"I'll start" and pulls out her journal to read.

Stoned on Pot

Seems to hit the Spot

Everyone thinks I'm really smart

Yet love is more important in my Heart

Challenges for me are Rare

I'll climb any mountain on a Dare

I love the passion of a good fight

I'd battle as an Activist all day and Night

For me to be happy till I die

I need all these parts and more to reach my perfect High

Vickie- after finishing reading says, "I enjoyed the story today don't get me wrong" "I especially like the part where the guru tells the guy a crazy lie, just to give him false hope in life." "I think many people search for happiness in the wrong spots "However, for me personally pot is a large part of my love in life and I know it is illegal and well I don't care." "Pot is only part of my life, I also love others, spending time outdoors, and fighting for what I believe in, so yeah." "PASS"

Judith-stands up and reads

My life is like a pez dispenser

I often fill drugs

Pot, X, Acid, Prozac are my candy color options

I've tried them all, they all taste the same

I've grown disappointed with the chalky taste

I don't know exactly what my perfect high is

Yet sitting on this mountain right now isn't to bad

Judith-sits down and looks at Joan and says, "Pass"

Joan-nervously stands up and reads

Lime Disease makes me see things that are not there

I can't control it, I can't stop it, the drugs I take don't help it.

I feel lost, I feel scared, I feel so confused, I just want to cry all day

Worse yet, I love seeing the people who come to me in this state

Pointing me in new directions, showing me the ripples of my choices

I have seen others cry tears of happiness from the help I provided

Could this have happened if I wasn't sick? Why is wrong to enjoy this?

Would I have meet and helped others without a hallucination telling me to?

Maybe my perfect high is like all perfect highs, it isn't Real, but believing it is real helps me to live my life every day to the fullest

Joan-leans over putting her head in her arms, and manages a confused, "Pass"

Judith-reaching over to pat Joan on the back says, "Hey it is ok Joan"

Annette-"Man I need to find me one of these infected ticks" "Lime Disease could be the answer to life"

Joan-looks at Annette and says, "Annette no" then looks at Judith in the eyes and adds, "Thanks Judith, really I'm good at the moment, so please Pass already"

Brie-hesitantly looks at the group making sure everyone would listen to her personally and then starts reading

Perfect High for me is the feel of a crowd's acceptance

Being in front of many people, who listen to me, or watch me

I love being in the flow of the moment

So wrapped up in an activity I forget about everything else

Except of course that one thing I'm focused on

This has happened to me while serving the winning points in volleyball

Being thrown spinning in the air while cheer leading

And Hearing the quietness of an audience while I sing a song in a play

It's been a while since I have felt this way genuinely in life

It seems harder now a day to find joy so easily

Now the closest I get is by getting drunk, and hanging out with my new friends

It's not the same sort of happiness as before, but it defiantly is a close second

Brie-looks at the counselors and they seemed to nod a sign of acceptance in her answer, so she happily says, "PASS your turn Annette"

Annette-rolls her eyes and reads

My perfect high happened the first night my boyfriend and I smoked.

I'm not sure if it was just high quality, or the novelty of the encounter

But I loved it all the same

I've done drugs ever since in hopes of repeating this first time

I would give anything especially my life

Just to have one more similar experience but better

I will find my own Tzutzu tree in life or happily die trying.

Annette-looking at the shocked looks on everyone's faces says, "CIRCLE"

Judith-aggravated slightly says, "Don't you realize Annette the point of the story was to find something you want more than drugs?"

Annette-rolling her eyes at Judith adds, "Yeah, but I don't hear you giving a better answer, so obviously you don't one either."

Judith-annoyed says, "I said being on the mt. top was better remember?"

Annette-blowing off Judith responds with, "Judith, you have done drugs, and I'm sure you loved it, otherwise why else are you here for a third summer?" "I'm not going to listen to your false do good-er speech, so really Shut Up"

Vickie-jumping in the middle of the debate says, "Putting the Do Good-ER speech behind you Annette, The point is you want to go home after this summer, you need to start saying something positive and REAL"

Annette-not caring says, "My answer was real, and well I don't do positive." "And I definitely don't plan to start when I'm stuck here all day with counselors, mt. climbing hippies, cheerleaders, a girl who hallucinates, and a psychopath drug dealer." "Soo sorry to disappoint you all but really you guys have no room to talk."

Joan-on the verge of tears says, "Is that all you think of me?" "I'm just a crazy girl who hallucinates?"

Annette-shrugging her shoulders says, "Well Yeah, you like me and everyone else here is nuts-End of story"

Annette-watching Joan's shocked looked on her face decides to go one step further and says, "Oh and Joan anyone here who says you are not crazy is lying but I'm sure you are smart enough to know that already."

Joan-getting up about to attack Annette, gets pulled back to her seat by Judith.

Judith-looking Joan in the eyes says "Joan, calm down, it's Annette remember let it go"

Joan-pissed says, "let it go?…Judith..."

Christy-who was standing in the middle of the circle to avoid any physical contact says, "Ok let's all settle down now" "Relax everyone" "There is no good coming out of continuing this argument any further." "We are all going to sit here and calm down for a bit."

Amy-after about a minute and the group calming down says, "I feel now would be a good time just to do a nice calm meditation and go to bed." "Everyone looks like sleep could do them well at the moment." "It was an exhausting day from hiking, and I feel it will be good to call circle off a little early tonight."

The group did a nice calm mediation, and got their meds and went back to their rooms for bedtime.

Joan-laying in her bed says, "Judith"

Judith-turning over in her bed says, "Yeah Joan"

Joan-"Thanks for stopping me fighting with Annette"

Judith-"No problem" "Yet, deep down I would have loved to see you kill her"

Joan-Laughing "True, but Thanks"

Judith-happily says, "Seriously Joan don't mention it"

Joan-"Ok" "Yet, what was with the Pez dispenser analogy?"

Judith-"I collect them" "I started when I was little I now have over a hundred."

Joan-shocked "Really?"

Judith-embarrassed "Yeap, pretty dorkie huh?"

Joan-"No it's cool, I mean oh ok it is kind of dorkie"

Judith-sarcastically "You think?"

Joan-deciding to be honest says, "Yah it is extremely dorkie, but I collect scarf's I have tons of them and wear them all the time."

Judith-"I don't think that's the same level of dorky-ness but thanks for trying"

Joan-"Yeah you are probable right, but how about this-I beat my schools best chess player in fewer than 10 moves" "How is that for being a dorky sub-defective?"

Judith-laughing "You played chess?" "Ok you win" "But Joan, I'm supper tired, can you avoid your bed shaking nightmares for the night and let me get some sleep?"

Joan-"I'll try, but if I could stop them I would" "Good night Judith"

Judith-"Good night"


	10. Chapter 10

Joan-sleepily watching Darlene about to run out of the bed room door says, "Morning Darlene"

Darlene-moans "Morning"

Joan-"I barely ever see you even in the morning; you do know you don't have to rush off every morning-Right?"

Darlene-rolling her eyes says, "Yeah, I know" "But I like too" "Bye"

Judith-moaning at the early morning conversation that woke her up says, "Nice try Joan" "I think you and Darlene are on your way to being best friends any day now."

Joan-"I just don't get why she is soo…so weird."

Judith-sarcastically, "Hmm compulsive hair puller eats her emotions like they are food, and very low self-esteem I might add." "Yeap Darlene is a real riddle" "Not my problem."

Joan-"Don't you care about her at all?" "I mean she is our room mate."

Judith-"Well I haven't deliberately said anything MEAN to her lately, and she is still a bitch." "So really I guess I don't' care to go out of my way to be hospitable to her."

Joan-"She cleaned up the hair balls"

Judith-"Off the floor-True" "but there are still tons on her bed." "Lets go get some breakfast already."

In the cafeteria both Judith and Joan get a bowl of cereal. Joan curiously watches as Counselor Cat gives one of the Echo Girls Sarah a batch of brownies.

Judith- seeing the look of confusion on Joan's face says, "So Joan, do you have a birthday in the next month or so?"

Joan-"No my birthday is November 14th" "Is that why Sarah is getting brownies today?" "Or are you asking because you want to throw me a birthday party?"

Judith-"Well I guess if I'm not in boarding school I'll keep your birthday in mind." "But, Yeap, it is Sarah's birthday today." "And although I am sure having a birthday here would kind of suck I would love to have some brownies for once."

Joan-"Yeah brownies would be good." "When is your birthday?"

Judith-"March 9th 1988" "No brownies for me to share with you either, sorry."

Joan-"Did you do anything fun for your birthday last year?"

Judith-embarrassed says, "Hmm I can't remember all the details to what I did" "But I remember my mom got me an SUV which was super cool not going to lie." "My Dad bought me an ice cream cake and I went to dinner with my parents." "Yet, afterwards I took off with friends and we had our own mini-party you could say." "I blacked out after a few hours, but what I remember was super fun."

Joan-shocked, "Blacked Out?" "Judith you could have died."

Judith-brushing off Joan's comment says, "Joan it was my birthday" "I was with friends all was fine." "I don't need a lecture-trust me" "I just celebrated a little too much"

Judith-trying to change the subject says, "What did you do for your last birthday?"

Joan-remembering her last month of November and closes her eyes tightly for a second then opens them and says, "Oh, hmmm, yeah I didn't do anything except hide under my blankets in bed hoping not to ever go to school again." "You see I destroyed Adams art sculpture because I thought he was going to drop out of school." "Okay, not good reason I know." "Well the point is I got suspended from school for three days, and all my friends hated me." "So although my family got me a cake, and we had lasagna for dinner it was far from a joyous occasion."

Judith-laughing says, "Adam" "Boyfriend guy you miss and cry about…Adam"

Joan-"Yeap same Adam" "Maybe we should just drop this, I won't ask about your birthday you can leave me alone about mine."

Judith-"Oh, no way." "This doesn't make sense Joan, Why did you destroy his art?"

Joan-annoyed says, "I had a failure of imagination." "Okay drop it."

Judith-"Funny Joan, really, but honestly why destroy it?"

Joan-annoyed blurts out, "A hallucination told me too, said it would be a good idea." "okay now you know."

Joan-now on the verge of tears, realized what she just said and tried to eliminate future questions by adding "I see people-I have lime disease remember?" "Please Judith, leave me alone about it."

Judith-seeing the distress the situation was causing Joan, says, "Alright, Subject dropped." "I'm sorry for bringing it up." "Will you forgive me?"

Joan-nods her head and lets out a weak, "Yeah."

Judith-feeling the issue is settled adds happily, "Great, because we need to go canoeing next, and well I want a partner with some boat skills."

Joan-confused, "Boat Skills" "I have no boat skills" "What makes you think I have boat skills… especially in canoeing?"

Judith-trying to remember where she got the knowledge from says after a minute, "Your impact letter said you were building a boat in your garage." "I don't care if it was model boat or whatever; all I know is if I'm stuck on a lake all morning I would much rather have you as my partner than anyone else around here."

Joan-"Really?"

Judith-"Duh" "Come on already Joan, I want the only canoe with Seats in it- so my knees don't hurt lets go already."

Down by the lake both group Luna and Echo are putting on Personal Flotation Devices (P.F.D.'s), and breaking up in pairs for canoeing. Judith immediately found the canoe she liked best and stood by it with Joan. The counselors gave a quick tutorial on the different paddle strokes with an extra long part on the J-Stroke, and then told everyone the importance of wearing their lifejackets at all times, even though nobody should be going in the water.

After they were given the ok Judith and Joan were the first to push off from shore and start paddling into the middle of the lake. Once away from shore they looked at the other group's of people getting in the canoes. In one canoe was Brie with birthday girl Sarah. In the next boat was Vickie and Becky in control of paddling and an annoyed looking Annette sitting in the middle of the canoe. And last to leave the shore besides the counselors was Darlene and April the two largest girls at camp.

Judith-laughing at the last boat says, "Do you think our wonderful room mate is going to be able to keep that boat afloat Joan?"

Joan-knowing she was way out of earshot from anyone else joined in making fun of Darlene by saying, "I hope soo…Hair ball producing Cats..Yeah I bet they can't swim good at all."

Judith-laughing says, "Agree."

Judith-Once in the middle of the lake Judith stops paddling and says, "Not bad Joan" "You are by far the best canoe partner I have had here."

Joan-Now also taking her paddle out of the water and looking at the beautiful view around her says, "Thanks, maybe I should write that down on my list of things I'm good at for my stupid workbook."

Judith-"Joan the only reason they give you that workbook is so you never run out of things to do." "Nobody ever cares if you complete it-its just busy work- don't worry about it."

Joan-"True, but I think I will finish the workbook someday." "I think it is kind of fun to learn about myself." "As long as I'm not judged on my answers-its kind of interesting too look at my past."

Judith-"Speak for yourself." "My past is pure hell" "Even writing about it sucks"

Joan-curious asks, "Judith, why didn't you change after your first 2 summers here?" "Go home, start a new life."

Judith- "In the last 2 years my family switched my high school 4 times" "My parents feel it is a good way for me to maintain my GPA and keep me from becoming to good of friends with the miscreants I always tend to hang out with." "However, Joan have you ever even switched schools once, it sucks" "I'm a teenager how the hell am I suppose to learn without making mistakes?" My stupid psychologist parent's turn every mistake I have ever made into a big huge deal-I hate it."

Joan-"This was my first year at Arcadia High" "My family moved to Arcadia from Chicago, I totally understand how much it sucks moving."

Judith-"Well then you know how awkward it is trying to make new friends." "It is like all the good people are taken." "Clicks are already established" "And unless you have a special talent, or interest there really is no automatic spot for you to fit in at." "It is like mis-fit roulette one spin and that is who your friends will be" "And well I always tend to lose- bad luck I guess."

Joan-"True, my brother found science geek friends like his first day at Arcadia." "I didn't make good friends till I joined A.P. Chemistry and meet Grace and Adam." "Yet, my first appearances of them that day were this Adam kid is a stoner, and Grace was an angry lesbian carving up the lab table with a ruler." "I actually thought I would never be friends with them and was pissed to learn they were my lab partners."

Judith-"Really" "That was your first impression of your best friends?"

Joan-shrugs her shoulders and says, "Pretty Much"

Judith-curious asks, "What was your first impression of me?"

Joan-Nervous says, "Well you reminded me of Grace somewhat. I mean not like a lesbian carving a desk apart but like… " "You looked like you hated authority and would easily rebel against anything. You also seemed to be confident in who you were in life, but sarcastic enough to have fun." "And most importantly you looked like the most normal person in the whole cafeteria."

Judith-Laughing, "You thought I looked like the most normal person in the whole cafeteria." "Wow, Joan-where you hallucinating?"

Joan-"I don't think so" "Fine then, what was your first impression about me?"

Judith-cocks her head sideways and looks Joan in the eyes and says, "I thought you were in your own dream world, possibly still intoxicated or drugged from your last night of normal life." "You looked out of place, but friendly" "You looked normal but confused." "You looked surprisingly upbeat and yet really depressed all at the same time." "And I thought no way you would stick around to ever be my friend."

Judith-"Oh and me Virginia were annoyed you showed up when we were discussing where the cigarettes where hid." "That was the major thing on our minds when you came to sit with us."

Joan-"Did the counselors take all your cigarettes?" "When you got caught?"

Judith-"Would you turn me in if I said No?"

Joan-"I don't know."

Judith-"Well then I don't know either." "Virginia was the one who hid them." "I'm innocent in this case."

Joan-"Oh Crap, Judith we are totally drifting into the weeds."

Annette-sitting in the middle of a near by canoe starts laughing and yells-"Yo boat JOANITH" "You should Paddle now and then."

Judith-puts her paddle in shallow mucky lake weeds and tries to push off against the bottom of the lake with no luck.

Joan-Tries to put her paddle in the water but when she pulls it out brings a big blob of sea weed with it and some of it lands on Judith.

Judith-annoyed, "Joan, Ewhhh Gross lets keep the sea weed out of the boat"

Joan-picking the sea weed up off the side of the boat and putting it back in the water says "Sorry, I didn't mean too I just feel kind of dizzy at the moment"

Vickie-not sure if both Joan and Judith were in the same boat but deciding most likely it was the case as the two seemed inseparable now a days uses the same saying Annette used, "Hey boat Joanith" "You guys stuck?" "Do you need any help?"

Annette-"Vickie, let the Joanith Boat Struggle."

Becky-ignoring Annette says to her partner Vickie, "Yeah maybe we should go help them out we are the closest boat to them at the moment."

Judith-continuing to try and push off is making some progress of getting away from shore but is still about 3 feet into large amounts of sea weed, and the wind is keeping their canoe in about the same location.

Joan-feeling slightly out of it now says "What should I do to help" "We are totally stuck Judith" "Crap I lost my paddle"

Judith-"Joan, how deep is the water by you?"

Joan-with her world starting to spin replies, "I don't know about a foot or so" "But there are tons of weeds and muck I'm not sure if it is the true bottom or not." "I stirred up the water a lot too-Wow look at all the cool swirls in the water"

Judith-rolls up her red sweat pants passed her knees and jumps out of the canoe into the water thinking the water is shallow as the canoe is only 10 feet from a tree and brushy filled shore.

Judith-sinks down into the muck almost 4 feet even with a life jacket on and yells "Fuck" "Joan Help?" "I'm stuck"

Annette-as Vickie and Becky paddle their canoe a few feet away Annette Laughing, "HA HA Judith is going to die in muck" "Boat Joanith has reached a Game Over doo doo doommmm"

Becky-looks around and notices the counselor boat with Amy and Emily are about 50 feet away and yells, "Hey Emily, Could you please come here and help?"

Judith-freaks out and tries to scream as she attempts to pull her arms free but instead gets a bunch of dirty water in her mouth and sea weed wrapped around her life jacket and arms even more.

Joan-starts to freak out, and goes to reach out her hand towards Judith and says, "Judith grab my hand" "Wooowhooo my fingers look so weird right now, like they are growing and bending"

Judith- confused with Joan's sudden personality change says, "Joan, I'm trying but can't seem to raise my arms, and my feet are completely stuck."

Becky-getting annoyed with Annette's comments says, "Shut Up Annette this is serious" "Emily and Amy are almost here maybe they can help us figure it out." "Joan, Judith you just need to stay calm."

Joan-as Joan looked at Judith she suddenly started to see the water around her have a metallic blue, and green mixed into the brown it was before. Then she sees Judith's face morph into her brother Kevin.

Judith/Looking like Kevin-"Joan I can't feel my legs anymore?"

Joan-hallucinating thinks it really is Kevin and says, "Kevin you are paralyzed you haven't felt your legs in years."

Annette-"Wow, Joan is going loony for sure"

Judith-freaks out and says, "JOAN, it is me! Judith! What is wrong with you?"

Emily-confused at what to help sort out first says, "Joan, Judith are you both alright?"

Becky-keeps paddling her canoe although it is difficult with the wind blowing the boats towards shore, and the weeds starting to get thicker.

Judith-bewildered says, "Joan, I need you to grab on to me, Please grab onto my life jacket, and help pull me up."

Annette-to Emily sarcastically says, "Oh yah Joan is hallucinating, and Judith is covered in Muck really there is no need to help they are doing just fine."

Emily-"Joan grab on to Judith-we can drag the canoes back and pull you out of the weeds."

Joan-still looking at Kevin who is now covered in black muck says, "Who is Judith, Kevin? "Kevin Ewhh you smell bad." "I'm glad you and dad finished the boat and all but really Kevin why are you in the water? You know being paralyzed you can't swim?" "Here I'll help you back in the boat."

Joan-wraps her leg around one of the cross bars in the middle of the canoe, and leans over the side of the canoe to help pull Judith out of the muck. The Canoe now on its side starts to fill with water, but some how with a loud "BLURPPP" in the water Joan was able to move Judith enough for her to be able to get her legs free, and then Judith grabbed onto Joan with her now free but sea weed covered arms.

Vickie-grabbed the other side of the Joanith canoe in order to have the canoe stop filling with water. Vickie says, "Becky keep paddling or we will be stuck too soon"

Judith-confused completely grabs on to Joan's arm and kicks her leg off a log on the bottom of the lake and propels both boats about 5 feet further from shore and almost entirely out of the weeds

Joan-with the sudden movement in the boat gets really dizzy and confused as everything starts to spin and colors blend together. Before Joan faints she grabs onto Kevin harder and says, "Kevin I don't feel soooo good." Then lets go of Judith/Kevin.

Judith-freaking out but free from the sea weed yells "Joan…Joan…Joan!"

Judith-grabs on the side of the canoe as she watches Joan fall over in the middle of the canoe and is lying in a pool of water.

Emily-acting swiftly bends down and pulls out a rope from under her seat, and says, "Vickie grab this rope and tie Joan's boat to mine."

Vickie-does what is asked and ties the boats together, and says, "Joan! Joan?... Joan has passed out it looks like?"

Judith-"Becky hold the other side of our canoe so I can jump back in."

Becky-grabs onto the Joanith Canoe and says, "Alright I got it, jump in."

Amy-"Judith watch out for Joan, and pull her up to a sitting position once you are inside your boat."

Judith-nods her head to show she understands and props herself up and gets inside of the canoe, she then pulls Joan up to sitting position in the middle of the canoe, and looks at her friend in complete confusion. "Joan, Joan, Wake up!"

Amy-"Judith it is ok Joan just fainted she should come too shortly." "Lets head back to shore though it will be easier to deal with things there."

Becky-now helping to paddle back to shore says, "Judith why did you jump out of the boat?"

Judith- feeling guilty and at fault for Joan's behavior says "I thought the water was only a foot deep I didn't know Joan was freaking out until I was in the water already."

"Oh my gosh I'm a horrible friend"

Annette-completely indifferent about the situation says, "Well yeah Judith, but that is a given."

Amy-getting annoyed with Annette's behavior says, "Annette that is enough" "If you want to judge other peoples behavior and actions fine but start with yourself." "Just stay silent until we get back to shore we should be there in about a minute."

Joan-goes from passed out fainted to dizzy and highly disoriented asks, "What happened?"

Judith-happy to see her friend was back says, "Oh my God you are back-Thank God!"

Joan-confused says, "God was here?" "Judith you saw him?"

Judith-looks at Joan lost for words to respond says, "Joan…you just passed out a few minutes ago-you were calling me Kevin? Do you remember that?"

Joan-weakly says, "What? Wait What Happened?" "You didn't see God?" "Are you God? Blink once if you know what I mean?"

Judith-confused "Blink once?" "Joan I think you are still out of it" "I'm glad we are back at shore you are really scaring me at the moment."

Both Luna and Echo groups where now back on shore as they realized a situation had occurred. Everyone was now closely watching Joan as though she was a bizarre science project that could explode at any moment.

Amy-"Judith, Joan, Annette, Vickie, Becky I would like to talk to you all over here under the tree for a second."

Christy-walks over to join in the discussion as most of the girls were from Luna and says, "Joan I need you to drink some water-take this."

Amy-"Okay Judith explain first off why did you jump out of the canoe?" "Second when did you notice Joan start acting strange?"

Joan-"Acting strange? Huh?" "Judith why are you covered in Muck?"

Judith-feeling blamed for the encounter says, "It wasn't my fault really" "I was trying to get the canoe unstuck, and Joan was fine until I was in the water."

Judith-looked over at a confused disoriented Joan and didn't know what to think about the situation. All she knew was she didn't want to be blamed for it, and hoped Joan would be better soon because watching Joan hallucinate was in no way fun.

Joan-trying to remember what happened let out weakly, "Judith you jumped out of the canoe?"

Christy-feeling she was getting nowhere with this approach says, "Joan come with me" "I'll take you to the medical staff, hold on to me for support" "We can ask you questions later once you have laid down for a bit."

Amy-"Good idea Christy" "I'll finish up here and then have Judith go take a shower, she smells horrible."

Christy-"Excellent" and took Joan to the medical staff.

Once inside a room full of first aid supplies the medical staff looked at Joan kind of confused about the encounter, but gave her some more water and medicine. They also took a blood test in order to help make sure her symptoms where not a sign of a major relapse. Joan complained slightly about having to get poked with a needle but realized if it was for safety she let the medical staff do what they needed too in order to help her be safe. After the blood test Joan got to lie down to rest. Although they let Joan rest for the next few hours the medical staff woke her up every so often to check on her status.

Joan-had many nightmares but only remembered fragments of different God appearances and when she finally woke up she couldn't figure out a message or any meaning to any of them. After laying awake for a bit Joan saw Dr. Mike sitting in the room writing something.

Dr. Mike-"Nice to see you again Joan." "Dr. Dan is out of camp today, but I thought it would be wise to take some notes for him on how you sleep." "It appears you are still having nightmares is that why you look freaked out right now?"

Joan-slightly still out of it says, "Actually I don't remember the dreams to much right now, but I am kind of hungry" "Why am I in here?"

Dr. Mike-"Good to hear you are hungry, you missed Lunch a few hours ago, I got you a sack lunch incase you were hungry when you woke up." "I also brought you your journal for you to write in." "When I talked to Dr. Dan earlier on the phone he said it would be best for you to probable stay here and journal on the recent events instead of going back to your group." "So the plan is for you to stay in here till dinner with me."

Joan-takes the journal and lunch from Dr. Mike and says, "Thanks"

Dr. Mike-"Joan, do you feel ok at the moment?"

Joan-starting to eat a sandwich nods her head

Dr. Mike-"Okay Joan eat your lunch, and if you want to talk to me feel free." "If you don't I understand and you can discuss stuff with Dr. Dan tomorrow in therapy."

Joan-decided to eat her lunch and not say anything to Dr. Mike. Once Joan finished the lunch she pulled out the journal and wrote what little she did remember about the canoeing encounter down. She also wrote about how she seemed to have nightmares but couldn't remember them.

Dr. Mike-after a few hours of Joan not saying anything asks, "Joan, it is almost dinner time now, do you want to discuss anything?" "Do you feel alright with the idea of going to dinner in the cafeteria?" "How are you feeling at the moment?"

Joan-happy she wasn't asked a million question for the last few hours but allowed to just journal says, "I think I would love to go to dinner in the cafeteria" "Can I go right now?"

Dr. Mike-"If you feel up to it, Yes you should go eat dinner now."

Joan-getting up quickly in hopes of not being asked anymore questions says, "Great, bye"

Dr. Mike-"Alright Joan" "Enjoy your dinner"

Once Joan walks in the cafeteria she notices all the girls staring at her and bent over in whispers. Joan feeling uncomfortable with the awkward stares grabs some chicken parmesan and goes to sit by Judith.

Judith-looks skeptically at Joan, and says, "So Joan, looks like your stunt at the lake is getting you some attention." "Do you feel alright now?"

Joan-knowing the question was coming says, "Yeah I took a nice nap this afternoon and think I'm feeling better now."

Judith-impatiently asks, "Joan, you called me Kevin at the Lake" "What happened?"

Joan-now still as confused as she was before says, "I'm not sure" "I remember getting the canoe stuck in the weeds." "I remembered seeing colors form in the water, and my fingers growing, and then nothing." "I seemed to black out till I was back on shore." "What did you see?"

Judith-"I saw you freak out Joan" "I jumped in the water to get the boat unstuck, and you seemed to lose it." "You thought I was your brother Kevin" "You said something about wondering if I was God, or Seeing God- which was really weird" "Oh and you seemed to think we were in the boat Kevin and your dad made." "Then you fainted."

Joan-just stares at Judith taking in what she just said

Judith-after a few minutes of silence asks, "Joan has this been how all your hallucinations have been in the past?"

Joan-now getting scared, as she knows the answer to Judith's question but didn't really want to think about it, shakes her head and says, "No, this experience seems different?"

Judith-"Joan, you really scared me at the lake today." "The way you freaked out" "I mean I have seen people on drugs before freak out, but today at the lake, I honestly don't know what to say."

Joan-scared but looks Judith in the eyes and says, "Judith, I don't know what to say either" "I had like no control over myself at the lake, and worse yet I fainted and don't remember all the details." "I really hope this don't happen again."

Judith-trying to lighten the moods says, "Okay, it is settled then no more hallucinating for you now, got it?"

Joan-"Yeah, good idea-got it" "I'll work on that" "Judith tell me a story or something" "My mind needs a break from trying to process this morning."

Judith-tries to think of something to share with Joan that would be happy, upbeat, or just plan dorky, but realizes her life doesn't have a whole lot of these types of memories. In fact it makes Judith sad when she realizes she couldn't think of any good times from home. Finally Judith pulls out her workbook and turns to question number 58 What would be your perfect day and reads her answer she wrote down a few days ago.

Judith reads-My perfect day. I would love to have a future where Joan is my best friend. Me and Joan could spend all day walking around the mall, drinking smoothies, and sharing stories. It would be like camp, but without the therapy aspect, and with no body watching our every move. We would be free to do what we want. Nobody would think we where crazy, no body would blame us for our past problems, we could just enjoy the moment and be happy to be alive. After spending all day at the mall, I wouldn't have to go home, but I could live at Joan's house for the night as we have a sleep over and act like normal teenage girls. My mom and dad would love me, and trust me again, but also respect me enough to let me just be.

Judith-finishes reading and looks over at Joan who is now crying.

Joan-between sobs says, "I can't believe I'm in your perfect day."

Judith-looks Joan in the eyes and says, "I have only known you for under 2 weeks and I think your life is perfect Joan." "I don't care if you act strange now and then, you are special and I hope stay that way."

Joan-shakes her head and while sobbing says, "Judith I don't think you have an accurate picture- my life is not perfect" "I wish it was perfect, but truth is my life is one mess and failure after another." "And if that isn't enough I'm crazy and hallucinate stuff that isn't there."

Judith-goes and gives Joan a big hug and says, "Crazy or not Joan I still think you are perfect the way you are."

Joan-just accepts the hug and cries harder not knowing what to say.

Judith-lets go of Joan, and says, "Joan, eat up, because you will be happy to know we don't have a therapy circle tonight." "We are having Pet therapy tonight instead."

Joan-thrilled to know she won't have to answer questions about earlier says, "Pet Therapy what will that entail?"

Judith-"The last 2 years it was the same, but it was cool to see the dogs they bring in." "This guy brings in 2 dogs and talks about the importance of discipline, and boundaries while training dogs." "There is a conversation about how Dogs can make you feel better, and can sense your emotions and calm you down." "It's actually one of the better therapy's sessions I think because after his little talk he lets everyone play with and pet the dogs."

Joan-"Huh, That don't sound so bad." "I actually really like dogs" "Cats I can't stand, and would totally never get one" "Yet, Dogs I mean I have never had one but I still tend to like them a lot this should be fun."

Joan, and Judith finish eating, and Joan goes to take a shower, while Judith who is already clean lies in their bedroom for a while thinking about the day. Soon Joan and Judith are both sitting in their normal seats in group therapy with the rest of Luna waiting for the Pet Therapy Guy to show up. Most of the group is eyeing Joan suspiciously, but nobody says a word.

Joan-watches as a familiar old guy walks in with two dogs on a leash into the therapy room. Joan starts to freak out when she realizes it is her neighbor from home, and isn't sure if it is or isn't God yet, but either way the memories of This Guy with these Dogs makes Joan break down in tears and start hyperventilating with a panic attack.

Christy-confused says, "Joan, what is wrong?"

Joan-looks at the Dog therapy guy and says, "No…I'm sooo done with you" "I told you no-please leave me the hell alone."

Christy-stands up to intercede between Joan and the Therapy Guy as she feels Joan is being rude and doesn't understand why. She looks at the therapy guy and says, "I'm sorry for Joan acting this way." Then looks at Joan and says, "Joan, what is wrong? " "Do you know this guy? Because well you seem kind of out of it are you okay?"

Joan-ignoring Christy as she looks at the Dog Therapy guy says, "Seriously, why are you here?" "You have billions of people you could bother and yet again you choose me."

Dog Therapy Guy-confused as he is not god says, "Joan, I understand it may be weird for me to be here as I'm your neighbor but honestly I had no idea you would be here today?"

Joan-with tears of angry streaming down her face says, "Neighbor!" "Who are you now Will Rogers? Because I'm done…. I am sooo not going to be your neighbor, or your helper, or you friend or whatever the heck you want to call me"…. "Oh and don't play that whole denial crap with me." "You didn't know I would be here-Oh yeah because it is always someone else who sends me to places I don't want to be."

Judith-confused says, "Joan!" "Joan leave the guy alone already"

Joan-Yelling now "Guy?" "I wish this was a normal Guy!" "Oh No this GUY-doesn't exist, nope he is a figment of my imagination." "Yeap that is all I refuse to acknowledge he exists"

Judith-puzzled, "Joan the Dog therapy guy you are freaking out on is totally real." "I can see him as clear as you, me, and everyone else in Luna."

Dog Therapy Guy- "Joan!" "Maybe you should just relax and take a break from life from a bit."

Joan-still yelling and crying at the Therapy Guy says, "Oh really take a break" "Take a Fucken Break he says" "Is this why you sent me here to Gentle Acres? To Relax and take a break-God I hate you."

Dog Therapy Guy-"Joan" "I didn't send you here" "What is wrong with you right now?" "It would be really good idea if you would just listen to yourself right now."

Joan-looking closely at the Dog Therapy God realizes she just flipped out on a normal guy, not only a normal guy but one of her neighbors who could easily tell her parents about the encounter when he gets home. Joan then says embarrassed with huge tears rolling down her face, "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

Joan-catches a glimpse at the rest of her group and the stunned looks on everyone's faces and decides to leave the room right then and there to avoid answering questions. She quickly runs out of the therapy room and back to her bed room where she throws herself in her bed and cries relentlessly in her pillow.

Christy-who followed Joan back to her room enters and sits down in a chair by Joan's bed and says, "Hey Joan it is okay to freak out now and then, but you need to let people know what is going on, everyone is here to help you."

Joan-hard to hear as she didn't lift her head from her pillow says, "I know people want to help, but how can they?" "I am not blaming you, or anyone else for not trying but really how can you help?" "Nobody can honestly stop me from seeing things." "Nobody can help me stop having nightmares." "Nobody can even really understand what I see, and how it makes me feel." "If you want to help, give me some hard core medicine that will knock me out and let me go to sleep because today has been hell, and I just want it to be over."

Christy-pulls out Joan's medicine and says, "Here Joan, you can take your medicine now." "I agree maybe this will help you most right now, take it."

Joan-gulps down her medicine then goes back to lying in her pillow and mumbles "Thanks." "Christy, can I just go to sleep now, please." "I really don't want to go back to the group right now, please don't make me."

Christy-nods her head and says, "You don't have to back to the group tonight." "If you want you can even sleep in another room." "Do you want to change rooms for the night?"

Joan-shakes her head in her pillow, "I just want to sleep right here, right now."

Christy-looks at Joan and says, "That is fine with me." "However, in about an hour Judith and Darlene will be in your room and may wake you up." "If you are ok with this then by all means, I'll let you lie down and sleep."

Joan-thinks crap, I bet Judith will come in and ask me tons of questions. Joan bangs her head up and down on her pillow about 4 times then says, "I changed my mind I want to sleep in the other room."

Christy-"Okay lets go there now then, and I'll let you sleep."

Joan-follows Christy to another bedroom and lies down on the bed and says, "Good Night"

Christy-looks skeptically at Joan and says, "Sleep well Joan, I hope you don't have any nightmares as it seems you already had an interesting enough day." "Good Night"


	11. Chapter 11

Joan Dreaming-Joan is at home in Arcadia and walks down the stairs to see her family in the morning. Everyone is eating breakfast, and she is happy to see Judith goofing off at the table with Luke and Kevin, as if this is normal everyday behavior. Joan hears her mom try to persuade her to eat some real food for breakfast, but then things change. Joan watches as the kitchen around her melts away and she is left standing on a giant chess board. Joan is wearing a white old fashion dress and has a white crown on her head. Joan then notices standing a square away is Cute Boy God with a crown on his head also dressed all in white. Suddenly a Black Knight comes charging towards Joan. Cute Boy God calls out, "Joan you were a great queen but in order for me to win the game I had to sacrifice you this round."

Joan-wakes up shaking and crying and thinks-God Sacrificed me?-Wait, Where am I? Wait this is not my room where is Judith, oh crap I choose to sleep in this other room alone why did I do that?. Joan contemplates going back to her own bedroom and bed a few doors down, but feels it would be unfair to go wake Judith up just because she had a nightmare, especially after she choose to go to the other room in order to avoid questions from Judith. Joan eventually decides to go back to sleep and after about a half hour of tossing and turning and thinking succeeds.

Joan Dreaming-Joan is walking down the sidewalk on her way to school and sees, every God figure she has ever seen before standing along the way. Cute Boy God says, "Joan we are all here for you." Joan starts running, but one God after another—Chess God-Old Lady God-Goth God and more keeps saying "Joan you need to choose to believe" and then "Freewill" came from all the Gods mouths simultaneously, Joan starts running faster and then she sees a ghost or Rocky sitting by the side of the sidewalk smiling and looking up at her, Joan wakes up again shaking and crying.

Joan-although shaken up bad from the dream is happy to see it is morning as the sun is coming up. Joan, decides to get up and write about her dreams in her journal. While writing about her dreams she thinks and cries, "Why God?" "Why Me?" "God-Yes you if you exist, I really hate you at the moment." "What the hell is with me seeing Rocky again?" "Man I'm losing it for sure"

Joan-after writing about her dreams gets up and goes to the bathroom. As Joan enters the bathroom she notices Darlene and April by the sinks talking.

April-watches Joan closely, and then asks Darlene, "Darlene isn't that your roommate Joan?" "The one who you said didn't sleep in your room last night because she keeps hallucinating or something."

Joan-irritated at being talked about like she wasn't their turns to Darlene and says, "Glad to hear you talk to someone, even if it isn't me." "But please can't you show me a little decency?" "Really what did I do to you that gives you the right to talk behind my back and or make fun of me right to my face?"

Darlene-Rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever Joan" "You think I don't know you and Judith spend all day walking around making fun of others." "Oh or you telling me if I didn't freak out two times or more in one day, you wouldn't gossip about me to Judith?" "I won't deny it Joan, or try to cover up my actions, Joan I think you are crazy…and I mean crazy crazy" "I know I'm not perfect or skinny, or normal, but I am truly thankful I am me and not you." "Come on April I think we should go to breakfast now and let Joan use the bathroom in peace."

April-showing overall pity for Joan in her situation says, "Joan I didn't mean to hurt your feelings I'm sorry for talking about you earlier." "I'm sure you are not as crazy as what I have heard from Darlene" "Sorry the first time I have talked to you it was like this."

Darlene-rudely cuts April off and says, "April are you coming already?"

April-"Yeah I'm coming" and once outside the bathroom door says as she walks away, "Joan seems a little weird, but Darlene do you really think…."

Joan-Looks in the mirror and shakes her head and sees herself looking exhausted, with big red eyes showing she has been crying all morning. Joan pours some water into her hands and tries to wash away the obvious puffy crying look. When she looks back at herself in the mirror she notices colorful liquid water drops melt into her face, and her hands and face getting longer and skinnier and melt away.

Joan-freaking out yells, "What the hell is going on with me?"

Judith-hearing Joan yell runs in the bathroom to find Joan lying on the bathroom floor shaking and curled into the fetal position crying.

Judith-freaking out says, "Joan calm down." "Why are you on the floor?" "Are you okay?" "You didn't sleep in our room last night?" "What's going on with you?"

Joan-disoriented responds, "So I don't have to watch myself melt away." Then mutters some incoherent words

Judith-Totally not sure what to do yells-"Help, I need a counselor Now!"

Christy and Amy-come running in the bathroom 3 seconds later and don't know what to think as they see Judith freaking out and Joan losing it on the floor.

Amy-hopefully asks, "Joan did you fall on the floor?"

Joan-shaking, crying and disoriented says, "No, the floor is my friend, unlike the mirror"

Christy-confused about what Joan said but realizing she must be hallucinating says, "Joan, me and Amy are taking you to see Dr. Dan right now so he can hopefully figure this out."

Christy and Amy help Joan to stand up and then help Joan make it to Dr. Dan's office. Many of the clients watch Joan being escorted away again and start to whisper to each other and make up rumors of what is going on. As Christy and Amy drop off Joan on a couch inside the office, both explain to Dr. Dan about Joan's behavior in the last 24 hours and then leave Dr. Dan and Joan sitting in his office alone.

Dr. Dan-"Joan, I think it best if you try this new medicine that the head psychiatrist is recommending for you." "Do you think you are calm enough to swallow this pill right now?"

Joan-still breathing fast, and crying slightly, shakes her head yes, and takes the pill from Dr. Dan's hand, along with some water and gulps down the pill.

Dr. Dan-after Joan takes the pill he walks to his desk and grabs a granola bar and an individual container of orange juice, and says, "Joan feel free to eat this if you like." "Unless you prefer a plate of sausage and hash browns from the cafeteria then I can get you a plate in a little bit."

Joan-opens the granola bar and slowly takes a bite and says, "Thanks, this is good."

Dr. Dan-"So I see you are calming down now, what was it that freaked you out so bad this morning Joan?"

Joan-"I saw my face melting in the mirror in the bathroom" "I think I'm going crazy" "What is happening to me?"

Dr. Dan-"It seems you have been hallucinating, and having bad dreams again." "Your blood test results from yesterday indicate that you are not relapsing from lyme disease, and it appears your hallucinations are a symptom to the medication we gave you last time." "Hopefully this new medication will work more effectively, and you will start acting normal again soon."

Joan-weakly asks, "What if none of the medications I try ever work?" "Could I be stuck like this forever?" "Always seeing things that are not there?"

Dr. Dan-confidently says, "Joan it is unfortunate yet not unexpected that you would be hallucinating while the correct type and dosage of medication is found for you." "You see every person is unique and different, and so far the first two most common medications for lyme disease that we tried you on don't seem to be the best choice for you."

Joan-"I hate being unique and different" "I just want to be normal"

Dr. Dan-"Joan, I have faith you can get their, but I need to know some more about the events that occurred in the last 24 hours." "Did you have time to journal on the events?"

Joan-nods her head and says, "I wrote about it all accept this morning in the bathroom, it's in my journal in my room though."

Dr. Dan-understandable says, "Excellent Joan, I'm glad you took the time and energy to write about it." "I'll get someone to get your journal for you right now, just continue to eat in the mean time."

Joan-watches as Dr. Dan calls Christy on the radio, and soon sees her journal slide under the office door. Dr. Dan goes to pick it up and take it back to his chair and starts to skim through it.

Dr. Dan-after a few minutes of reading asks, with a couple of confused looks says "So these hallucinations Joan, do you notice any indications before they occur, which may be used to help you recognize a possible future outbreak?"

Joan-confused by the question as she never thought about any prior indication says, "Hmm sometimes I see water change colors or morph, before humans change."

Dr. Dan-who checks to make sure the session is being taped correctly looks at the recorder, smiles then at Joan and says, "Any other signs Joan?"

Joan-shrugs and says, "Most times I'm around nature or water" "when I say water it could be bathroom sink or could mean Lake but often the water is moving" "Do you think that is significant?"

Dr. Dan-indifferently says, "It could be significant I'm not sure yet." "Okay, but what about at Pet Therapy last night-there was no water or nature then." "So do you have an explanation for this encounter?"

Joan-embarrassed, bites her lip and says, "Oh I wasn't really hallucinating last night" "I just freaked out because I saw my neighbor as the Pet Therapy Guy."

Dr. Dan-trying to learn more says, "Yeah, I talked to your neighbor last night after your episode-he said you were acting really strange." "And it didn't appear to be strange like shock that he was a familiar person, but someone else entirely."

Joan-realizing she didn't want to explain more, but as she already wrote about it in her journal thought crap Dr. Dan already knows the truth.

Dr. Dan-"Who did you think your neighbor was Joan?"

Joan-putting her head in her hands so as not to have to look Dr. Dan in the face says, "God…I thought he was God"

Dr. Dan-"Has your neighbor ever been God before in your past?"

Joan-nods her head and says "Yeah he has"

Dr. Dan-"Have you ever talked to your neighbor when he wasn't God?"

Joan-shakes her head, "No he has always been God before, I don't even know my neighbors real name."

Dr. Dan-"Did you get missions, and or have lots of conversations with your neighbor God?"

Joan-"Some, Yes, but not really any different or more than when I hallucinate other forms with God"

Dr. Dan-"So yesterday when your neighbor walked in what did you think Joan?"

Joan-"I thought he was God, and he was going to give me a new mission, or tell me something about myself I didn't want to hear."

Dr. Dan- "So you hallucinated when you saw the Dog Therapy Guy." "You didn't want to be seeing a hallucination but you were confident he was in fact one and in the form of God."

Joan-impatient with Dr. Dan not getting her story right says, "No, I was wrong, he wasn't God I just freaked out because I jumped to a wrong conclusion." "He often was God in my past and I just assumed he was God again."

Dr. Dan-"Have you ever made wrong assumptions like this before?"

Joan-embarrassed says, "Yeah, but usually I wasn't as embarrassed as I figured it out quicker, and it was easier for me to do damage control of the situation." "If you want to know why I ran out of the room it was because I didn't want to answer questions on the situation to my group."

Dr. Dan-"Understandable for not wanting to answer questions to your group on the situation." "Yet, what do you mean by damage control?"

Joan-"Recognizing my mistake, then apologizing or saying something sarcastic, you know make a joke to change the attention away from me to something else entirely."

Dr. Dan-"Very interesting, I can see you doing that even in normal activities in life."

Joan-confused says, "Huh"

Dr. Dan-"Never mind" "Okay Joan I want to know about similarities then between lets say today's mirror bathroom incident and the canoe incident yesterday."

Joan-"Ahhh I don't remember much about the canoe incident except colors changing in the water" "I passed out and seemed to be really confused when I woke up later."

Dr. Dan-"Were you stressed out at all before any of these encounters?"

Joan-eyes opened up wide and says, "Are you saying, When I get stressed I hallucinate more?"

Dr. Dan-"What do you think Joan?" "Could that be true for you?"

Joan-thinking about past events says, "I guess sometimes that's true." "I was stressed this morning before the mirror incident because Darlene and April where talking about me, and I just woke up from a nightmare filled night which by the way sucked, but mainly I didn't like the fact that everyone here thinks I'm crazy and is talking about me."

Dr. Dan-contemplates for bit then says, "Joan you are not crazy, you are having impaired projections in the form of hallucinations because of lyme disease." "You shouldn't feel any of this is your fault, and if other clients are saying you are crazy you need to realize you are not, it is simply a symptom to your medication."

Joan-mumbles "That is easier said then done."

Dr. Dan-unable to hear what Joan said, asks, "What was that Joan, I couldn't hear you?"

Joan-changing topic says, "Nothing" "I was just thinking about the day my parents dropped me off here I saw God and that was a very stressful moment." "Oh and in the canoe yesterday I was stressed about getting stuck in the weeds."

Dr. Dan-"See Joan, now this kind of thinking makes sense." "I'm glad you are starting to notice your feelings and emotions can impact you in life."

Joan-"How can I not get stressed out though" "I mean just the idea of thinking about things that could stress me out tends to stress me out…like things stress me out, I can't avoid it-can I?"

Dr. Dan-"Yeah that is usually the case" "I guess you will need to come up with a few words, or actions which can help calm you down when you feel you are getting stressed." "Some people deliberately change their breathing; other people stare at a calming item like a tree and relax." "The point is you need to think up something that will help you calm down and not be stressed."

Joan-"Well I tend to calm down when I eat Ice Cream" "How about you give me a bowl of ice cream, or better yet send me home" "I'm sure that would help my stress levels drastically."

Dr. Dan-"Joan, you need something more internal to focus on." "And something you can control no matter where you are in life." "You won't always have ice cream at hand, and you can't stay hiding under the covers at home the rest of your life." "So you going home isn't the answer at the moment, sorry Joan."

Joan-"Okay I'll try to think of something."

Dr. Dan-"Excellent, Also I want you to work on something else too." "Whenever you have dreams or hallucinations in the future try to record your emotions, feelings, and prior events to the occurrence." "Can I have you do that for me Joan?"

Joan-sarcastically says, "I feel so much more relaxed already, wow anything else you want me to do while I'm at it" "Yeah Yeah Yeah I'll do it." "Shesshh don't look at me like that."

Dr. Dan-"So Joan you appear to seem fairly calm right now, sarcastic slightly, but calm." "How do you feel at the moment?"

Joan-"Alright, you gave me some things to think about and I feel better for now, and I guess I just hope it lasts."

Dr. Dan-"I hope it lasts too" "The new medicine should help." "Anything else on your mind Joan you want to discuss?"

Joan-"Any techniques on how to not feel like a run way model when I go to lunch and have everyone staring at me?"

Dr. Dan-"Just keep reminding yourself that it's not your fault you hallucinate." "And try not to let others opinions of you impact your actions or thoughts." "You'll be fine Joan, you just need to stick with it, and be yourself."

Joan-"Yeah I guess"

Dr. Dan-"Alright Joan, it is lunch time." "If you see any more hallucinations the rest of the day let your counselors know and if you need to we can talk some more after lunch."

Joan-"Sounds good, but I hope I don't have to come back today, no offense."

Dr. Dan-"None taken enjoy your lunch Joan, and I'll see you later, Bye"

Joan walks into the cafeteria and feels completely insecure in life as everyone is either watching her every move or purposefully trying to not look at her at all. Joan gets a tray of food, and notices how no one is saying a word when she walks by their tables to get to her own. Yet, the second she sits down by Judith, Joan notices the volume in the cafeteria rises again.

Judith-nervously says while looking around the cafeteria, "Wow I'm glad I'm not as popular as you right now." "So are you okay?" "Dr. Dan pump you full of some new medicine and talk some sense into you?"

Joan-breathing out says, "Yeah something like that" "I got some new medicine" "So right now besides everyone thinking I'm crazy-I'm doing alright"

Judith-relived to hear Joan's answer, has a smile spread across her face and she says, "Glad to hear" "So you want me to tell you about your new popularity, and some of the crazy rumors going around?" or Dog Therapy, Or better yet the wonderful game of ultimate Frisbee you missed this morning-although I missed the end of the game because I had to go see my own shrink"

Joan-"I don't want to hear anything that involves the words Joan and Hallucinates together."

Judith-looking down, grabs a fork of spaghetti and eats it, as she tries to think up an answer.

Joan-noticing Judith's avoidance tactic says, "Seriously, you are telling me, the only thing new around here is everyone thinks I'm crazy."

Judith-"Well you are pretty popular like I said earlier." "Yet, Annette did get hit in the head with a Frisbee; Vickie threw intentionally to hard at her." "That was the highlight of my day so far "But besides that not a whole lot is new outside of you."

Joan-puts her hands over her face and lowers them while saying, "Great" "I soo hate my life."

Judith-hoping to keep Joan in upbeat moods says, "Everyone hates their lives." "I totally hate my life-It's just part of being a depressed teenager I think." "Yet, I'm not sure if you heard the good news."…"We are spending of the rest of the day inside our bedrooms… as it is pouring outside." "So you do plan to come sleep in your old room again, Right?"

Joan-shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know, I can't stand one of my room mates at the moment actually."

Judith-Thinking Joan can't stand her says, "Fine why do I bother to try and help you, I can't stand you either, you just go back to your other room then, see if I care."

Joan-realizing how Judith took her comment wrong quickly says, "No, Judith, you are fine, I actually meant Darlene, not you."

Judith-confused and embarrassed says, "Oh…What happened with cat lady then?" "I am sorry I just haven't talked to you at all in hours and really you talked to Darlene today why?"

Joan-"Well I found her and April talking about me in the bathroom this morning." "We ended up having a short argument, and she walked away from me."

Judith-"Was this before I found you lying on the bathroom floor?" "Did the two of them walk out on you while you were hallucinating?"

Joan-"The argument was before I freaked out for seeing stuff." "Yet, I really don't care to see Darlene again as I'm still kind of bitter about it"

Judith-"Well maybe me and you can go in the other room, and leave Darlene alone in our room."

Joan-"That would be cool." "I'll ask the counselors what they think about it." "I'll say I feel kind of down at the moment and want to spend time with just you and it would probable be easier if we could have our own room."

Judith-"Oh pulling the old pity card, brushing off the old manipulating skills… I like it."

Joan-"It's not really manipulating, it is more asking politely." "Yet, I guess I could get anything I want right about now, all the counselors seem to not now what to think or act when they around me because of my crazy hallucinations."

Joan-hearing the rain now as it got more intense says, "Wow, it is really coming down" "I'm glad we don't have to journal outside in the rain this afternoon."

Judith-laughing says, "Yeah that would suck." "Thank God we are only at crazy camp and not wilderness therapy like Virginia I read they are stuck out side regardless of the weather."

Joan-"Wow, Totally being outside in bad weather like this would suck." "I think my bed isn't so bad here…Even if I do have to share it with you at times"

Judith-"Oh because, I'm the person in our bed who wakes up with nightmares." "Just remember Darlene has an open bed anytime you want to switch."

Joan- gets permission for the two to stay in the alternative bedroom for the afternoon.

Then, Joan and Judith finish their lunches and continue to talk as they make their way back to the bedroom.

Judith-"So I was chewed out today by Dr. Mike for not writing my parents" "I guess my mom wasn't happy with my lack of letter."

Joan-"I thought writing letters is a choice we had here?"

Judith-"Oh it is our choice." "Yet I guess if I don't write a letter, then I will be questioned about it in therapy and then begged by my shrink to write my mom just so he doesn't have to answer questions to my parents about my lack of letter." "Long story short, I am being forced to write a letter to my mom today."

Joan-"Do you know what you plan to write?"

Judith-"I have no clue, will you help me with it Joan?"

Joan-Now taking a seat on her bottom bunk of the bed says, "Sure I'll help you out but I plan to write my own letter too."

Christy-walks in the door and says, "Mail Call" "Here you go Joan, Please make sure any food contents if you did get some get ate in this room before dinner." "Oh and sorry Judith but your parents didn't send you anything." "Okay, I'll collect finished letters at dinner so here is some letter paper so you can write home." "And I'm next door if you need more paper or anything else just ask." Christy leaves the room

Judith-watching Joan says, "Man you got the biggest package I have ever seen here." "What did you parents do send you a book?"

Joan-shrugs and rips open the package on the floor and sees a bunch of colored letters; a few comics, a newspaper article, 2 photos, small drawing, and a package of pop tarts come out.

Judith-mouth drops in complete shock, "WOW" she says, and then her face fills with rage and she jumps on the top bunk of the bed.

Joan-so happy to look at her mail doesn't notice Judith disappearance to the top bunk without saying word.

Joan-looks at the two photos her parents sent. The first was of Adam, Grace, Luke, and herself hanging out in the living room at home eating pop corn watching a movie. The second was of her whole family at Thanksgiving over 3 years ago. It was taken in Chicago and Kevin was standing in the picture happy with a baseball shirt on. Luke had braces, and looked even more like a dork then he does now. Joan remembers how much simpler her life was back then, and starts to cry as she realizes how much she misses her family and friends.

Joan-next looks at the comics and realizes each her mom, Kevin, and Luke must have picked one out for her. She found it funny that she could have just imagined each family member laughing at the comic they picked out, and yet when she read them she didn't even chuckle. However, she loved the fact her family tried so hard to make her happy, and the irony was the jokes were funny if she pictured her corresponding family member reading them.

Joan-Then looked at the drawing and found out it was from Adam. Joan couldn't understand how Adam got to send her a drawing, but was so happy her boyfriend found a way and cared about her enough to send something, Joan ended up crying even harder as she looked at the drawing. The Drawing was of her, Grace, and Adam sitting at their lab table in chemistry. Joan laughed at the cheesiness of having heart shaped clouds come out of the beakers on the Bunsen burner.

After a few minutes of looking at Adam's drawing and remember the last year of her life with him, she put the drawing down and picked up a letter from Kevin.

Dear Joan

First off as your big brother let it be known and never forgotten it is in my job description to call you crazy, or insane whenever I feel you deserve it. Second off, it only feels right to do so when you are at home and not at a crazy camp, so for now you are off the hook. Third, I find it odd that with you gone the amount of ice cream at home still stays the same. Weird I always thought you were the one who ate it all. Lastly, I miss you tons and hope your bad dreams end soon. Love Kevin

Joan then looks at a news paper article that Kevin wrote. It was on how a new stop sign has been installed close to her house. By far not an interesting or long article but she was proud of her brother for his work, and was happy he sent her the clipping.

Joan looks at a letter from her dad.

Dear Joan

I miss you so much. It is weird coming home and not being able to tuck you in at night and give you a good night kiss. I bet it would help you with your nightmares, which I hope will end for you soon. I heard they switched your meds, from Dr. Dan. Hopefully the new ones are working better for you. Joan I read you are not super happy in life right now, and I'm sorry you feel scared from being away from home. I wish I could help you personally, I feel like a failure as a father for not being able too. Please know I'm trying my best, and wish you were home too. Work has been kind of slow lately, but I'm not complaining. I have mainly been dealing with catching a lot of high school students speeding around town now that school is out, or teenagers doing drugs, but thankfully nothing to major. Yet, I'm happy to hear you are making a friend with this Judith girl, if she makes you less lonely, and is nice then I trust your judgment in choosing her as a friend. Lastly, I attached a copy of your report card on the back of this letter, I just would like to say I'm proud of your grades this term Joan, and. I am glad you are starting to care more in school. Love Dad

Arcadia High School

Sophomore Year

French B-

English B

Geometry B-

A.P. Chemistry B

World History B+

Gym A

Joan-thinks wow I did really good this semester. I got strait B's. Then Joan goes on to read a letter from her mom.

Dear Joan

I hope you enjoy all the extras in your mail and know the family all misses you. Me, Luke, and Kevin had fun finding you items to send. Also, I just ran into Adam at the grocery store and he was curious about you, so I told him about how the family could send you stuff and he wanted to send you stuff too. He is such a nice boy. The drawing is called "The Love of Chemistry" I thought it was very good especially as he drew it in the grocery story on a scrap piece of paper. It was very last minute I ran into him, I already planned to make my next stop the post office in order to mail you this package. Adam said next time he will write you a letter as well. Also if you want to write your friends Joan I will drop off your letters at their houses. I approve of your friends Joan, and although the camp has a strict rule on not sending letters to friends I think it don't matter in your case, as your friends are not drug dealers, or criminals, but great people who really care about you. Life around here is pretty normal. I have been taking Luke to drivers training which just started this week; and I am also starting to write lesson plans for teaching Art next year. Overall, things are going fine, except everyone misses you. I hope camp is getting better Joan, and that your nightmares have stopped. I am glad to hear you meet this Judith Girl I just hope she won't be a bad influence on you, but I trust you on making that call for yourself. I love you Joan. Love Mom XOXOO

Joan-thinks wow I love my mom, as I can now write to my friends Adam and Grace. Joan then looks at the last letter from her brother Luke.

Dear Joan

The odds I won the tri-mathalon with were 1 in 229,577,480 and although it seems high I tend to think with you anything is possible Joan. Like I don't get it, but you continually break mathematical probabilities almost weekly. Well I guess I'm saying don't give up hope on being sane yet? Because well there is still a chance you are. Small I might add, I would recommend you should keep taking medicine that really helps the chances a lot. I also ran into Grace by the coffee shop and we talked about you briefly in passing. Grace misses you Joan, not that she told me directly, but I could tell. I guess I miss you too. In fact I tried to eat the last pop tart for breakfast today and it just felt awkward to do so. I saw my name clearly written on it in black market but yet I couldn't bring myself to eat it so I sent it to you instead. So enjoy your pop tart because there is no way I'm sharing when you get home. Luke

Joan-grabs the pop tart wrapping and opens it while smirking indirectly at Luke. Once she opened the packaging she broke off a piece and happily eats it. Joan then feels she should share some with Judith and goes to find her lying on the top bunk of the bed quietly crying and facing the wall.

Joan-confused about what could be bothering her says, "Hey Judith, what's wrong?"

Judith-mumbling says, "You Joan that's what's wrong." "You and your stupid family."

Joan-"But you never even meet my family."

Joan-hesitantly "I was…ahh going to share this with you, do you want some?"

Judith-turns over in bed with eyes covered in tears and looks thoughtful at Joan and says, "No Joan, you can eat it, you have had a hard enough time the last few days." "I'm just a failure at life it's no wonder my parents never send me anything good." "It's not really your fault, or your family's fault." "I'm just acting stupid"

Joan-feeling sorry for Judith says, "You are not a failure" "Here eat this" and hands Judith the whole other pop tart in the container.

Judith-reluctantly accepts it after Joan plops it her hand and says, "Thanks" and breaks off a piece and eats it. Between tears Judith says, "Why are you so nice to me Joan?" "I don't deserve it." "You should be friends with someone else here, like Vickie, or Sarah or someone."

Joan-"What are you talking about Judith; you totally deserve to be my friend." "You're totally fine, and way cooler than anyone else here." "Hey, why don't you come back down on the floor and I'll let you read my mail if you like." "Then once I write a response I can help you with your letter." "You do still want some help with the letter to your mom right?"

Judith-"Yeah I guess" "Yet I doubt anything I write will help." As Judith wipes off some tears from her face she jumps down off the bed to sit on the floor with Joan.


End file.
